Five minutes with dad

I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot lately. I wrote about him in Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door, how he made an appearance in a recent dream that I had where I got a chance to get the VIP treatment and visit heaven for a day. I’ve been thinking about him at other times too. We didn’t always get along — he could be quick to anger and could be demanding — but he’s been gone now for more than 19 years, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I would talk with him about over coffee or a meal.

I would love: 

–To talk with him about some of the projects my wife and I have planned for our house. He worked easily with his hands. He would know the best way to redo our bathroom or to update the windows or siding on our house. It came naturally to him, where I struggle to make sense of it. I picked up some that knowledge as a kid working with him, but unfortunately most of it went over my head.

–To talk about my kids. He loved his grandchildren. He was a tough father, but he was an outstanding grandfather. He loved to have them on his lap or if he was feeling well, to get on the floor with them. He would love to hear how they’re doing and the dreams they’ve set for themselves. He would love to hear about their accomplishments. He would be so proud of them. He would be even prouder of the strength of their character.

–To talk about how similar the kids are to him. I would probably do more of the talking here. He would be modest and say no, but I would love to tell him about how they’re quick with their mind and hands, just like him. He never had the time or money to go college. He would love to hear how they’re making something of their lives. I would give him examples of how they’ve taken after bits of each of their grandparents.

–To talk about everyday things, everything from the Pittsburgh Pirates, with a record of 20-15, jumping out to first place and a strong early start, to the price of gas, or the best route to drive cross-country from Pennsylvania to California. He didn’t always gets my passion for writing or even my sarcasm and humor, but he’d want to know that I’m still at it and would be interested in my blog. I’m sure he’d have a few questions of his own.

Life doesn’t work that way. Unfortunately, people die and time marches on, but I know someday I’ll have a chance to talk with my dad again. When I do, I’ll have my notes ready.

Image by Archie Binamira via Pexels.

36 thoughts on “Five minutes with dad

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  1. Those sound like wonderful conversations to have with your dad, Brian. When our departed loved ones visit us in our dream, I always feel there’s a deeper meaning in them and hope you get to have these conversations in some form one day.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wonderful and meaningful topics Brian, but why wait? Quiet moments are great times to have small conversations, or even bigger conversations. I’ve spoken with my dad during some of the hardest times of my life since he’s been gone. While I don’t get a definitive answer saying the words brings me connection and calm.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Yes, great idea Deb. And I’ve definitely done that and have felt the presence of my father or others or even a strong connection. I do feel better after those “conversations.” My only issue is that the black and white side of my personality likes definitive, crystal clear answers or responses and I haven’t necessarily gotten that . . . but I probably won’t until I officially move to the other side. In the mean time, it was fun to put these ideas down on paper. Made the connection feel stronger! 🙂 😉 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. This post resonates so strongly with me, Brian. Thank you. What I would give to be able to have similar conversations with my Dad, who I lost when I was 19. I need to embrace Deb’s philosophy and just have those conversations in my head. They’re always with us. ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks Jane, I’m glad the piece resonated with you. Thanks for telling me too. I’ve written about heaven and death lately in a few of my pieces and it dawned on me that I’m getting a bit ghoulish here. Thought my readers might worry about me and call the police to perform a “wellness check” on me. I’m kidding, but I was worried about the somberness of my posts. Thanks for the feedback!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I love your topics list for a chat with your dad…and I agree with Ab, Deb and Jane. Your dreams are powerful ways to connect — and sharing your thoughts with your dad — getting things that matter out of your head and heart — it works for me. Offering up what’s on my mind during my little meditative moments…it feels quirky and one-sided at times, but the more I do it, the closer I feel to my dad. 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I love this Brian! My father passed in 2010 and I think of him often. Like yours, my father was good with his hands. He could fix or build just about anything. So any time something breaks down, there’s trouble with the car, or leaking pipes I always wish he was here. Other times I’d just like to talk to him. We’ll get to see them again, have faith.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Beautiful post Brian. Sounds like you had many good conversations with your dad. There are always memories and dreams that come up with our after their gone. I cherish all of mine. And yes, one day you’ll meet again.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Algeria. I had a few good conversations with my dad. He definitely came from a different time so sometime it was hard to talk, but I feel like I was able to say what was on my mind. That’s definitely a blessing. I’m glad you have your memories. That’s great!

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you for a beautiful and thoughtful post. I keep thinking similar thoughts about my mom. I’d love to tell her so many simple things. I especially liked what you wanted to share about your children with him.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is so heartwarming Brian, because I wish my parents were here to have similar conversations with. I understand where you’re coming from. I too have a list of “I Wish I Asked” questions, that I now think about or experience since their passing. Beautiful ruminations my friend. 🤗🙏🏼😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Glad I’m in good company Kym. My Dad questions/comments are all pretty basic, but it’s interesting to think about that conversation, especially when I think of my kids and how much they’re like my dad. Now, we had some tough moments too, but he really was a great grandfather and would love to hear about all of his grandkids. I’m glad my piece resonated with you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my gosh Brian, I get where you’re coming from. I appreciate your reflections, because there are many of us out here who can connect to your ruminations. Thanks for sharing! 🤗🙏🏼😍

        Liked by 1 person

    2. You know that old question “who in history would you like to have dinner with?” And people often answer with the da Vinci’s and Churchills of history? Since my parents passed away, my answer is my parents. I think it’d be the same for you?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The crazy thing about writing a blog for eight years is that I’ve started to forget what I’ve written and haven’t written. I sort of covered this in my Jan. 27 2017 post, “Party of Six, your table is ready,” where I mentioned that I would want to have dinner with my family. I sort of recall another related post, I think about drinking coffee, but I can’t remember. But yes, if it wasn’t my kids, my choice would be my dad!


  9. I love, love, love this post, Brian! And you know what – I think you just did have 5 minutes with your dad and he’s applauding you and sending a hug. Next time you look at your home projects, I bet he’ll be right by your side guiding your best decisions. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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