I call BS!

My wife and I have a game that we play. When we hear something that’s too good to believe or something we think is fishy, we’ll call out BS. We could be sitting in front of the TV or out and about grabbing a bite to eat. We drive by a gas station and see that prices have spiked overnight by thirty cents. I’ll cry out, “that’s B.S. there’s no reason for gas to spike like that in one day. There’s no freaking reason.”

My wife will call me on her way home from work. She’ll tell me that she’s going to be at least 20 minutes late because in addition to the road construction that’s detouring her onto another route, there’s a second construction project on another highway that’s causing even more problems. “This is BS. If it’s not, then I don’t know what is,” she says. “This is ridiculous.”

It’s our little way of letting out frustration.

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A bunch of baloney

I was thinking about that when I saw someone on social media post about how great the 80s and 90s were. Most times I agree. The music was better. I’ll take David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Prince, Queen, U2, the rise of MTV, the technology and a million other things over today’s music in a heart beat. People back then — even with the late-80’s catchphrase “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good” from the movie Wall Street — were nicer too. So many things were better.

Once in a while though when I find something that is immeasurably better today, I have to call out BS. For example, we spent a few days in Arlington, Virginia, outside of Washington, D.C. recently. We lived there in the early 90s. Of course, we found ourselves in a traffic jam. When is it not busy there? A traffic light turned to green and I made my turn. As soon as I made my turn, the GPS in my car told me that I needed to go through two lights and then make a left. I silently thanked GPS for letting me know in advance to get in the left lane.

Every time we visit the area, I’m reminded that I have no idea how we ever survived our youth without GPS. Back in the day, we carried an atlas and local map in the car. If you were going somewhere new, you needed to check the map out before heading out the door. Worst case scenario, we even used to have to stop at a gas station and ask directions. Good God! How horrible! The indignity.

Better back in the day? I have to call BS on that. I”ll take GPS and the current day for $500 Alex!

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It’s all hogwash

It’s not just gas prices and the power of GPS. I find that I’ve been calling BS lately on other things too. Here’s four things that are smelly if you ask me:

–1. Hear, hear? I’m getting close to needing a hearing aid. I’ve always had nerve damage in my left ear, but as I age my hearing is getting worse. I’ve long been shocked to learn that hearing tests are often covered, but not hearing aids. Insurance companies classify hearing aids as “elective” or “lifestyle” rather than essential medical devices. Um, hello? When did hearing properly become a voluntary thing? An elective thing? Hearing loss is a prevalent yet often overlooked health issue affecting millions of people worldwide. No, no, let’s get to the real truth. Standard health insurance policies don’t like to cover them because of the cost. They pass the cost which can easily range from $2,000 to $7,000 per pair back onto the individual. There are more over the counter options today, but they will still cost you. Oh, I definitely call BS on this one.  

–2. Hold tight to your wallet. Scammers going after the elderly, especially with the new technology of the day. Hell, AI can be hard to detect from reality for the most tech-savvy of us. Going after the oldest and most vulnerable in our society? That’s just low.

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–3. Corporate sleight of hand. When CEOs and corporate leaders use meaningless phrases, buzzwords, and jargon such as “synergy,” “pivoting priorities,” “low-hanging fruit,” and “strategic restructuring” to obscure the truth. Let’s not even start with the companies that try to compare their workplaces to families. Last time I checked Uncle Joe didn’t try to get me to come work on the weekend. In the words of a former teacher who advised, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

I would add a caveat to my teacher’s comment. “And make sure your words and deeds are of good character.”

–5. Calling BS on the BSer. My job as a pet sitter is soon coming to a close. Panzer, my son’s one year old puppy will soon be heading back to Connecticut. The little bugger though has a habit of putting me on the bad side of my neighbors. Does he do his do-do in our yard? No, of course not. We go for a walk and of course, he wants to stop at everyone else’s yard. I’m left holding the bag literally and figuratively. I try to get him to a common area, but no, he forces us to right in front of a neighbor’s window. He does his business, while I’m left, figuratively and literally, holding the bag. I have to wait for him to finish and then pick up his poop. God forbid they think of me as a horrible neighbor! Ugh. Panzer – you bugger!

What do you call BS on?