Help me, I’m drowning

When we had our daughter, I remember feeling that I was in over my head. I looked down at her and, yes, she may have been tiny, but I felt even tinier. How was I going to take care of her? How was I going to know what she wanted or even be able to read her mind?

Despite my wife’s assurances, she seemed to have all the answers and I seemed to wandering in the desert. I grew up with two brothers. There weren’t a lot of girls around our house and we certainly didn’t have a lot of babies. When I picked up my daughter for the first time, I was frightened to death that I might drop her.

Image by Pexels

Of course, I have my funny stories about changing diapers and getting pooh on myself or droll on my shirts and ties. (I went through a trash bag of old ties the other day and I swear every one of them that I was throwing away or giving away to Goodwill had something on them from when my kids were babies. I think they had a special radar that told them when I was wearing a new shirt.)

In time, though, my uneasiness started to go away. I became more comfortable rocking and playing and even changing their diapers. I look back on those baby years now with a fondness that I never thought I would feel. I write about one late night taking care of my daughter on The Heart of the Matter in my story, Rock-a-bye baby. I touch on how I found my mission and purpose as a father.

Have you ever felt this kind of uneasiness? How did it work out? Check out my story and let me know what you think.

Related Story:

Rock-a-bye baby

on The Heart of the Matter

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40 thoughts on “Help me, I’m drowning”

      6. I’m going to catch this one tomorrow. Thanks.
        John Wick fans are really up to date with Keanu. The 4th part dropped this year. I can’t get myself to love the movie… I have never seen anyone from start to finish.

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  2. We were three girls growing up – no boys. So, of course, I had three boys!
    My second son we called the Duke of Puke… to this day, I will not hold a baby above my head, just sayin’ 😉
    It’s amazing the things we discover we can do because we just have to!

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    1. It was silly of me, but I worried I wouldn’t know how to bring up a daughter. Yes, kind of silly. As far as Duke of Puke goes. I love that name. I wish I would have come up with that name for my kids. I don’t care that they’re in their 20s now, I think I might have to start calling them that now. Of course now, it might be for other reasons. Ugh.

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      1. It’s not silly to be worried about something like that. How can you possibly know what to do without doing it? All the advice in the world doesn’t help when you’ve got your two hands in a diaper full of poo! He was something else, tell you what! And haha! Right, different reasons… I can think of more than one occasion where I could hear him ralphing after a wild night…

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      2. Diaper pooh. The worlds best way to bring everyone to the same level. Ha, ha. I remember one time. I’m dressed in a suit and tie, my wife in a maid of honor dress. We’re at a wedding. My son has the world’s biggest blow out. My wife and I are trying to change him in the back on our tiny sedan. We have both back doors open, I’m working one side, she’s in the other, all the while, we’re trying desperately not to get anything on us. Oh, a classic memory. I really wish I had a picture of that. It would not be a great photo of me, but I want to send it to all of my son’s friends. See what he did to me!!!

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      3. Seriously!
        Haha! A picture would have been great but surely not by you who had your hands deep into the bidness!
        I’m gonna one-up you.
        My son, at his baptism (we did it old school – before age one month), let ‘er rip and that lovely yellow, stinky mush went up, past the diaper, up his back, down his legs and all over the beautiful christening gown crocheted by my cousin. Somehow, none ended up on me. I basically had to peel it off him and dunk him completely into his bath after. So gross.

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  3. I think unease is a sign of being human. I dare anyone to say that they are always completely confident going into a new situation…and parents!!! No way can you be confident. I finally felt like I knew 85% of parenting by the third baby- but still questions and trepidation remain.

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  4. I’ve told the story of the nurse tripping on the curb and tossing the bundled baby in the air as I sat in the wheelchair. My husband, who thankfully played football, caught our first born babe and we drove the half mile home in what seemed like an hour. It hit me then the enormous responsibility that I was faced with. You’ve described that feeling exactly.

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    1. Oh, that would have freaked me out. It’s one thing for me to not know what I’m doing, but to have that happen in front of me. Wow. Glad your husband was there. Was he a receiver when he played football. Bet it was the best catch of his life. Ha, ha.

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      4. You might not want me Cindy!!!! 🙂 My wife used to make fun of me, because I would change the diaper in the middle of the night, that part was fine. But, I would end up waking our kids up with belly kisses and laughs when I should have been keeping things mellow and helping them back to sleep. Ha, ha.

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  8. I love this! I think I even feel it when I get a new pair of shoes or clean the house. I don’t want to mess up what seems perfect. But then, as with our amazing kids, we learn that “loved” is the best look, right?

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    1. “Loved” is what makes it awesome. You’re so right. I really do have to laugh at myself back then, I was so nervous. Look what I would’ve missed out on. Now . . . . I did have tons of help, that’s why what you’ve done is so amazing Wynne, for your kids and you!!!

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  9. Ah, I remember this feeling well as a first-time mother when my son and only child was born nearly 30 years ago. I sometimes wish I could go back for a do-over now that I’m older and “wiser.” 😂 How did I do it without the Internet???

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    1. How did we? Heck, I’m always amazed the hospital nurses let me drive away with my wife and baby. I thought their Hippocratic oath would force them to take my baby away and for them to say “nah, come back later, bring us the real grown up.” Ha ha. But we managed, didn’t we! 😎😎😎

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