What My Coach Got Wrong About Winning

I was confused.

My pee-wee football coach told us to run four laps around the field. “As you’re running, I want you to remember Vince Lombardi’s great quote: ‘Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.'”

Now, I was only nine or ten and I was tired from our long practice, but I was full of questions. I wanted to raise my hand and ask my coach for clarification, but even I knew better than to ask in the moment. Maybe I would ask Mom and Dad later. Or maybe it would just magically make sense later when I got home and had dinner.

My question: How did the quote about winning jibe with everything we were learning in elementary school about being kind to others, playing fair, being disciplined, and helping people? Those lessons seemed to run counter to the idea that winning at all costs was the only thing that mattered.

Heck, it seemed to run against everything else the coach was saying, too. He and the other coaches pushed us to follow the rules of the game, to listen to the referees, to practice hard, to be good sports and to play fair.

What Lombardi Actually Said

I never did ask him about it. Years later, I learned that Lombardi—the legendary American football coach best known for leading the Green Bay Packers to unprecedented dominance during the 1960s—actually said:

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all-time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”

Still, I’ve long been confused by society. We put so much pressure on winning that we forget about the journey. We get excited when our favorite team wins in the World Cup and then two weeks later get upset when they lose in a closely played match that goes down to the wire and could’ve gone either way. We forget about the virtues—hard work, discipline, building continuous learning into our lives, and picking ourselves up after failure—that pave the way for true success.

I’m as competitive as they come, but whatever success I’ve had hasn’t come from focusing solely on winning. It’s come from all those other things. We miss the real story when we focus too much on the final score.

The Hidden Power of Effort

My friend Wynne Leon hit the nail on the head recently in her The Life of Try podcast. In the episode, Effort Keeps You Eligible for Opportunity, Wynne dives into the hidden power of effort, persistence, and staying ready when life doesn’t put you out front. There are so many gold nuggets in her post and episode, including these insights:

• “What if coming in second, or getting a second chance, is not failure but preparation?”
• “Sometimes the win does not go to the person who starts in front. Sometimes it goes to the person who keeps running.”
• “A disappointing loss can still position you for a future win if you keep showing up with humility and persistence.”
• “We remember wins, but what moves us is effort. We remember the person who kept going when the picture did not include them yet.”

And yes, Lombardi later tried—unsuccessfully—to clarify his famous quote. He tried to contextualize the aggressive slogan by adding that striving for excellence, continuous effort, and doing things right all the time were what truly mattered.

“Winning isn’t everything, but making the effort to win is.” 

I guess that part of the message never quite got through to my coach.

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What about you?

How do you measure a “win” in your own life when the immediate results don’t go your way? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

And if you’re looking for a great listen on perseverance, head over to Wynne’s blog to check out the full episode! Thanks Wynne for sharing.

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Effort Keeps You Eligible for Opportunity