Renewing our vows

Here’s your invite. Mark it down now.

My wife wants to renew our vows next fall when we celebrate our 30^th wedding anniversary. She wants to throw a party. She wants to have our friends over and have a few drinks, dance a little, (sorry we prefer the slower stuff to today’s dance music), and celebrate. She wants to go big. 

Wedding note-taking

We went to a beautiful wedding celebration in the Finger Lakes in New York in early September and I took some notes for our big party. It’s probably a good thing, weddings have changed a lot. There was no dollar dance or bouquet toss. (If there was, I missed them.) And for the record, the bride did not smear cake all over the groom’s face. Yes, I’m still a little sore over that one, 29 years haven’t altered that, and it’s a story for another day, but one still worth noting.

Here’s a few other things I want for our big sequel. You gotta make it a day to remember, right?

–Our friends, who looked amazing and looked like they had a blast, got married at a winery. Hello, what a wonderful idea. Eat, drink, and be merry. I’m in! Yes, the church that we got married was lovely, but a winery, now we’re talking! The only thing better would be a brewery or a distillery, but I suspect my wife wouldn’t be too happy about that idea.

–I want the vow renewal ceremony to take about 40 minutes, with the rest of the night for the party. Here’s why: If the vow portion is too short, people will wonder why they got dressed up, too long and people will start to question why they’re even your friend.

–I want a His and Her Drink at the bar. My wife will probably select a tutti-frutti sweet wine or some other fall-like apple or pear fizz. I’ll choose a cool craft beer or something with some punch, perhaps Whiskey on ice or a classic Gin and Tonic.

Touching words

I love how bride and grooms nowadays make their own vows. They’re much more personal. The stoic priest who married us didn’t give us a choice. We got the standard, “blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, until death do you part.”

Ignore my sarcasm. I liked the vows and all, they gave us some great direction, but I think, after 29 years of marriage, we can do better. In fact, I’ve come up with my own version. I’d love to know what you think.

My new vows

“I take you K, to be my beloved wife. I vow to hold your hand in the middle of the night when you wake up and can’t get back to sleep; in the hotel or hospital bed; wherever you might lay your head, I’ll be lying there next to you.  

I vow to wipe away your tears when the kids head back to their lives in faraway states. I promise to have a joke ready to make you laugh and bring back a smile. I vow to listen when you complain that they don’t call enough. And when they do call or text you, I vow to forget that you ever said a bad word about them. 

I vow to listen to you talk about your students, keep my problem solving and solutions to myself, and let you vent. I promise to keep calm when I see you filling out lesson plans or student reports in the evening or on the weekend. (In addition, I vow to continue to fund your own personal Educational Endowment, to help pay for all the things that your cheap school district fails to fund.)

I vow to open your door when we go out and close it whenever we leave. I make this vow to you, my best friend and the first person I look for in the morning and last person I want to see when I lay my head down to sleep.

I vow that I’ll be here for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until my death. And in the event of my death, I promise to come back and haunt and annoy all of your enemies.

Thank you for sticking with me through thick-and-thin and being confidant and soulmate. I love you with all my heart and soul. As I finish up my last line, I’ll point to the DJ and he’ll play “All of me” by John Legend.

Yea, look for your invite. This is one party you’re not going to want to miss!

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you