Renewing our vows

Here’s your invite. Mark it down now.

My wife wants to renew our vows next fall when we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. She wants to throw a party. She wants to have our friends over and have a few drinks, dance a little, (sorry we prefer the slower stuff to today’s dance music), and celebrate. She wants to go big. 

Wedding note-taking

We went to a beautiful wedding celebration in the Finger Lakes in New York in early September and I took some notes for our big party. It’s probably a good thing, weddings have changed a lot. There was no dollar dance or bouquet toss. (If there was, I missed them.) And for the record, the bride did not smear cake all over the groom’s face. Yes, I’m still a little sore over that one, 29 years haven’t altered that, and it’s a story for another day, but one still worth noting.

Here’s a few other things I want for our big sequel. You gotta make it a day to remember, right?

–Our friends, who looked amazing and looked like they had a blast, got married at a winery. Hello, what a wonderful idea. Eat, drink, and be merry. I’m in! Yes, the church that we got married was lovely, but a winery, now we’re talking! The only thing better would be a brewery or a distillery, but I suspect my wife wouldn’t be too happy about that idea.

–I want the vow renewal ceremony to take about 40 minutes, with the rest of the night for the party. Here’s why: If the vow portion is too short, people will wonder why they got dressed up, too long and people will start to question why they’re even your friend.

–I want a His and Her Drink at the bar. My wife will probably select a tutti-frutti sweet wine or some other fall-like apple or pear fizz. I’ll choose a cool craft beer or something with some punch, perhaps Whiskey on ice or a classic Gin and Tonic.

Touching words

I love how bride and grooms nowadays make their own vows. They’re much more personal. The stoic priest who married us didn’t give us a choice. We got the standard, “blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, until death do you part.”

Ignore my sarcasm. I liked the vows and all, they gave us some great direction, but I think, after 29 years of marriage, we can do better. In fact, I’ve come up with my own version. I’d love to know what you think.

My new vows

“I take you K, to be my beloved wife. I vow to hold your hand in the middle of the night when you wake up and can’t get back to sleep; in the hotel or hospital bed; wherever you might lay your head, I’ll be lying there next to you.  

I vow to wipe away your tears when the kids head back to their lives in faraway states. I promise to have a joke ready to make you laugh and bring back a smile. I vow to listen when you complain that they don’t call enough. And when they do call or text you, I vow to forget that you ever said a bad word about them. 

I vow to listen to you talk about your students, keep my problem solving and solutions to myself, and let you vent. I promise to keep calm when I see you filling out lesson plans or student reports in the evening or on the weekend. (In addition, I vow to continue to fund your own personal Educational Endowment, to help pay for all the things that your cheap school district fails to fund.)

I vow to open your door when we go out and close it whenever we leave. I make this vow to you, my best friend and the first person I look for in the morning and last person I want to see when I lay my head down to sleep.

I vow that I’ll be here for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until my death. And in the event of my death, I promise to come back and haunt and annoy all of your enemies.

Thank you for sticking with me through thick-and-thin and being confidant and soulmate. I love you with all my heart and soul. As I finish up my last line, I’ll point to the DJ and he’ll play “All of me” by John Legend.

Yea, look for your invite. This is one party you’re not going to want to miss!

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

37 thoughts on “Renewing our vows

Add yours

  1. Wowza! Your vows got me all teary-eyed…beautiful, Brian. And I giggled about the length of the ceremony…40 minutes to hit that sweet spot for attendees who might be honked off if it’s too short, or too long. Thanks for sharing. A charming Friday morning delight. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hope my wife gets to the vows portion of the blog. She might kick me out after reading the “40 minute,” “brewery over a church” and the “cake-smashing” lines. 🙂 I get her to read my blogs before I hit publish, but I thought I would surprise her this time. But am I not right about the 40 minute time period. The two weddings we went to this summer were great because they hit the 35-40 min mark. You sat down and before you knew it, it was time to celebrate with the couple! Ha, ha, okay, I’m talking like a crazy guy, but you get my drift. Let’s hope I get through this year’s anniversary and make it to next year for the 30th! Ha, ha. Thanks for the feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! It’s a work in progress, but lots of fun over the years. I normally run many of my pieces by my wife for her feedback before I post. I surprised her with this one. Hopefully, that gets me another year or two! Thanks for the feedback!


  2. Oh, oh, oh – wow, absolutely beautiful. Mark me down as a “yes!” 🙂 Your vows are so beautiful – and perfect for the reality of mid-life while still recognizing the youthful glow and optimism of 29 years ago. You two are truly a lucky couple!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Youthful glow. Oh, you’re too kind Wynne, but I’ll take it. You would have to ask my wife about “being lucky.” I’m too scared. She may say no. I’m kidding. She’s used to me now. We are lucky. Lots of hard work and some tough moments too, but still very lucky. Thank you for the feedback. Much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we’ll see what comes of ours. I do think we’ll have something next year . . . just not sure of the numbers. It will be different this time. It will be what we want versus some big thing that we’re expected to have. Of course, I better not count eggs before they’re hatched. I gotta make sure my wife still wants to “stay married to me.” I think so, but I probably should ask first!!! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh geez, Brian—it’s all I can do to keep myself from asking you if you’ll marry me. Oh, but rats. You’re already taken! What a lucky wife you have. Blessings to you both on your big anniversary—and for the rest of your lives! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you Julia for the laugh. My wife would get rid of me pretty quickly if she wanted. I’m the one who is lucky. It’s a lot of hard work, but we’ve made it work for us. I wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you so much for your kind words. Very much appreciated. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There’s no flunking. I know you’re joking . . . but you’re too hard on yourself. We’ve been lucky in many respects. And it really does take two to tango. There have been times where my wife has carried us and then other times when it’s been me. It also helps that my wife is a saint and puts up with my craziness. Thanks so much Julia!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Many congratulations on your 30th anniversary next year, Brian. It’s quite something these days to be in a happy marriage for that length of time. I love your vows – so heartfelt and beautiful. About 40 minutes would be good; as you say, people expect to hear something loving and romantic like this and be glad they’ve come along. I’ve never been to a winery. Mind you; I’ve never been to a brewery either. A winery sounds like the perfect place to have your ceremony. Here’s to the next 30 years.

    You are lucky to have your wife’s views on your blog posts before you press the dreaded Publish button. My finger often hovers over that button, and even when I’ve done the deed, I stop and think I could have done better. It’s great that you have a trusted second opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thanks Stovallmom! You know how it is, lots of hard work, some crazy times, but lots of fun times too! It’s definitely different this fall with everyone at school or out of the house … but really cool doing our own thing. Our weekends are packed, doing fun stuff. Looking forward to t-giving and Christmas, and having most everyone home. I’m sure you’re looking forward to that too. Thanks so much for signing up and reading my blog. Appreciate it!


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