To the person who hit my wife’s car:

To the person who hit my wife’s car:

I must admit that we almost missed the damage. Oh, you stinker! Yup, you got us, you surprised us. It took a day or two for us to see where you sideswiped the rear passenger side of our car and drove away without exchanging insurance information, without a note, without a wave. Yes, most importantly, without taking responsibility. 

We were enjoying a quiet Saturday morning when we noticed an 18-inch long, black stripe on our car. From a distance, I thought it was just a smudge, but oh no, it’s significant paint and scraping damage. First, let me just say, I’m glad we weren’t in the car and no one was hurt.

If you don’t mind, I have a few simple questions: When did it happen? Thanks to the narrow streets and numbers of people, we hear this happens more often in the Big City than the suburbs. Our car though was parked in our driveway. We think it happened when my wife went to the grocery store, but the joke is on us, we really don’t know the actual date or time.

We have other questions too:

  • Did you not see the car?
  • Were you distracted?
  • Were you on your phone, texting?
  • Did you pull out too quickly?

Inquiring minds want to know

You can tell us the truth. My wife thinks I’m silly for even asking, but I’m most interested in knowing what you’re thinking now. Do you feel remorse? Do you think about us when you pass another car that’s got a dent in the rear? Do you regret running away?

Yea, I know I’m full of questions. I’m a quizzical sort. I like to get to the bottom of things, like the who, what, when, where, how, and why of a problem.

When mistakes happen

You must not feel anything? If you did care about someone other than yourself, I got to think you would have stopped. You would have taken responsibility. You would have written down your insurance information and left it for us, possibly under our windshield wiper. It’s one of the first rules of driving: if you cause any damage to someone’s vehicle or property, no matter how minor, you should stop. I know that admitting your mistakes can be hard. I’ve made my share, but you don’t turn your back. You don’t run away, you don’t hit & run. You admit when you’ve wronged someone. You say you’re sorry and you try to fix it.


Time to pay the bill

We have to talk with the repair shop, but it’s a safe guess that the repair costs will run from $500 to $1,200. It’s not the nicest car, it’s not the worst, but my wife loves it. I suspect it will not make a lot of financial sense to file an insurance claim, so the expense will come out of our pocket. We’ve saved for emergencies like this, but it’s still annoying.

I’m most frustrated by the sour taste in my mouth. I don’t like that the cynical part of my soul keeps asking questions, such as:

  • “The guy in the parking lot, in the black SUV, keeps looking this way — do you think he could be the one who hit the car?”
  • “I don’t have a good feeling about the way that car is parked, let’s keep driving until we find another parking spot.”
  • “Do you think we could ask the grocery store for their recording of the parking lot?”

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Oh, I’m bummed, but I know that in time I’ll move-on and even forgive. I’ll forget that the damage happened and I’ll eventually forget about you. There’s a big difference though that separates the two of us: I can look in the mirror and feel good about myself. Can you do the same?  

Thanks for your time. It’s been nice, but let’s not do this again! So long!


13 thoughts on “To the person who hit my wife’s car:

Add yours

  1. I like how you have written this post, although I’m sorry that your car has been damaged. Moreso because the guilty party obviously doesn’t seem to have any guilt (or even morals, by the sound of it). I’m thankful that you or your wife weren’t in the car at the time of the crime. It is, after all, a crime not to stop and leave details, as you’ve said. It was totally unacceptable and wrong that the driver hit your car. I expect they thought they’d got away with it. And it’s so infuriating that it’s not worth claiming on the insurance. The company would undoubtedly put your premium up next year if you make a claim. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it. I had a similar insurance dilemma recently, too. I had a flood in the kitchen. It did a lot of damage and meant the flooring had to be taken up and replaced. When I checked my insurance policy, they only covered claims over £550 for water damage. The repairs came to £750, and it wasn’t worth claiming to have my payments increasing for the next five years. So annoying. I hope you can get the repairs to your car done at a not-too-expensive cost. However, I doubt you’ll ever hear from the guilty party, who obviously doesn’t have a conscience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a first world problem. The car runs fine. I would try to fix it myself, but it’s beyond my skills. My wife isn’t real materialistic or a “car” person, but this is the first car that she loves to just get out and go. Yes, I’m extremely grateful that we’re safe and weren’t injured. It’s really just an annoyance and a loss of trust. We don’t know how long it had been that way. Since it’s on the passenger side, neither one of us had seen that side of the car. We’re just sad someone didn’t take responsibility. We’ll be fine. As with many things for me, writing about it has helped me to process and move on. Make sense? I’m sorry to hear about your flooding/flooring. That’s horrible … and so annoying, because of the costs. Isn’t that why we pay for insurance for reasons like that. Ugh! I guess that’s the way it goes sometimes. Anyway … thanks so much for reading/commenting. Have a great weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What an interesting way to work through the horror and outrage, Brian! I’m so sorry for the hassle and disappointment in other people as you’ve expressed so well. But I agree with Ellie, I’m glad that you or your wife didn’t have to come face to face with this person. Here’s to hoping that looking at the dent it made in their car will after the 1,000 time of seeing it, make them realize that taking responsibility the next time it happens will be better than the extended torture of this time. Sending my best wishes for a quick and inexpensive fix for your car!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ohhh…so sorry to hear about this – but agree — glad to know there were no injuries. For what it’s worth, all of the same questions would be nagging at me…the where, when, what, how. Especially the where and the when – as you said – with the damage not being discovered right away.
    I chuckled about the parking spot dilemmas…this one doesn’t look quite right…moving on to another. Having something like this happen, causes hubby and I to do the same. Giving weird side-eye to the way other cars are parked and circle parking lots far too long to find the right “spot”. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well that sucks. And now you have the added paranoia to deal with too, such as wondering if every person that passes you was the one that did it. Of course, that’s probably a bad draw of the straw, so I’d say to keep parking where you normally would. While you couldn’t catch the guy because you weren’t in the car, it’s also a blessing that you weren’t!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly how I’m trying to look at it. I can’t worry about others and what they may or may not do. And yes, as much as I might not want to admit it, it’s probably a good thing that we didn’t see it or weren’t in the car. A blessing in disguise! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


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