When I’m king of the world: Part II

A semi-regular column on things I would change when I’m king of the world.


When I’m King of the World:

–People who have deeply personal and loud conversations in public places while others are working quietly would have a special place in hell assigned just for them.

–Cursive would be taught once again in elementary school at least so that kids can sign their names.

–Term limits would be instituted for every office in the country, from school board member to Congress. In most roles, two terms should be it. You’ve had your chance. Your contributions are appreciated. Give someone else a chance. You can contribute in other ways.

— Politicians on both sides of the political aisle would have to be accountable. For every new program or policy change they suggest, they would have to cite in detail how the change would be funded or where existing funds would be diverted.

–The workday would start later. Some of us — okay me — don’t operate well in a 9-to-5 schedule. The day starts too early and goes too late. How about a 10 to 3 schedule? And a regular three-day weekend. Yea, I could be going too far there, but hey I’m the king, it’s a tough job.

–Apple would have to start over. In announcing its newest iPhone launch, Apple announced that it is doing away with the headphone jack. I get it trying to change the way consumers listen to music. To my untrained ear, though, it sounds and feels like a cheap and easy way to make a profit off the backs of consumers.

–College costs at public four-year colleges and universities rose 13 percent from 2010 to 2016 according to the figures kept by the College Board. Colleges have every right to make a profit. However, they shouldn’t get rich off the backs of students. I love the idea of cheaper college alternatives matched with a service commitment. In the meantime, I would love to see more college’s back or guarantee their education. “We believe so much in our education that we’ll guarantee that within nine months you’ll have a job or we’ll give you a refund.” Yes, lots of challenges and red-tape, but college’s should stand by their degree. In my world, they would.


–People who mistreat and tease dogs through a fence would have to work a year in a humane shelter.

–Automatic teller fees would be outlawed. The average ATM fee across the country has risen to more than $5. What does that mean? If you go out of network, which seems to be a must now since most banks have been cutting back their branches, not adding, you’re paying an increasing amount of money to withdrawal your own money. That’s not right.

All hail King Brian.

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