The Day My Boss Kicked Me Out of the Office (And the 9-Step Cheat Sheet He Handed Me)

I came back to the office from a meeting and felt off. My boss had major changes to a project and presentation that we had been collaborating on for the past several weeks, but he took one look at me and could tell I was a wreck. 

Everything was coming to a head. I had been working nonstop for more than four months. I was essentially living at the office. I was putting in long days and then getting back into work early before the day even got started. My wife and I had just signed the mortgage papers on our house, adding enormous debt to our finely run budget. My wife was also pregnant with our first child and feeling the physical effects of it, and to top it all off, my car had just left me stranded on the way to work. My local garage got the car up and going again, but made no promises for how long it would keep running. It was going to need a mountain of costly repairs just to pass inspection. To make matters worse, I was running late for my afternoon meetings and my stomach was groaning because I had skipped lunch again.

I was a bundle of nerves wrapped up in human form. I felt like one of those alien beings you see on TV that looks and acts like a human—Jimmy from across the street—but underneath the exterior shell is really a crazy-looking octopus-worm-dinosaur like monster.

A Relic from the Wallet

Seeing me and feeling my pain, my boss told me to take the rest of the day off. But before he officially kicked me out, he pulled out of his wallet an old piece of frayed notebook paper and handed it to me. You could tell that the paper had been folded and refolded many times in the past. On the paper in clear writing was a small chart with nine different feelings matched with related actions. He called it his Nine-Step Cheat Sheet. It was something a colonel whom he had worked for in the Army had passed along to him years earlier. They were simple, powerful words.

I’ve kept a copy of that chart close to me over the years. I’ve changed jobs, family obligations have evolved, and cars have come and gone, but I still come back to the list. Of course, we know so much more about psychology and work-life balance now; this doesn’t replace professional help for deep-seated issues like depression or trauma. But for the daily grind, it still makes a massive difference.

Turning Feelings into Actions

Whenever I’m caught in an emotional loop, I pull the chart out and, more often than not, it reminds me to turn my feelings into actions to get to a better emotional spot:

When Feeling	Action To Be Taken
Anger	Sing
Burned Out	Go for a Walk
Paralyzed in Making a Decision	Breathe
Frustrated	Take a Break
Anxious	Lift Weights or Go For A Run
Sad or Unhappy	Show Gratitude to Others; Read a book
Lazy	Take a Cold Shower
Impatient	Reflect On Your Progress
Confused	Ask questions

Over to you

What about you? Which of these pairings resonates the most with you today? Or better yet—what is a simple action you take to snap out of a negative emotional loop? Let me know in the comments below. And oh yea, my own personal lesson was to remember to take a break every once in a while.