The Cupboard is Bare (And We’re Doing Fine)

When our kids were young, my wife and I ran nonstop. In the evening, she packed the lunches for the next day while I supervised bath time and made sure they “cleaned behind their ears.” It was a crazy, hectic time. It was only when the last book was read and they were tucked three or four times into their beds that we finally let out a sigh of relief.

Of course, then we were usually too exhausted to tackle the clothes that needed to be folded or the work-work that needed to be addressed. We were usually too pooped out ourselves.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the kids got used to certain images of my wife and me. In many respects they still have those images.

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–They still think of us eating elaborate family dinners. Two of the three were home recently and were shocked by what I called dinner. I ate half a yogurt. The previous night I had cereal — a sugar-filled one to boot, Lucky Charms. And the night before that, I skipped it altogether. No big dinners, just whatever moves us.

One son was pining for one of mom’s dishes: chicken with cream cheese in buttery, flakey croissants. Of course, my wife broke down and made it especially for him. Oh, the love between a mother and son. Of course, it hit me. I couldn’t remember the last time the two of us felt like putting in the work for dinner.

Meanwhile, our other son came home and literally laughed when he saw the empty food cupboard and refrigerator and the two of us having no plans to fill it. “Um, are you guys going grocery shopping anytime soon?”

–They think of us hanging out reading a book or bingeing the latest Netflix series. When we head out on the weekend to a local winery or travel somewhere, they’re generally shocked. They don’t come out and say it, but, I can see the wheels turning in their heads: “You have a life?”

Yes, we have a life. And it doesn’t always evolve around you.

Image by Pexels.

–They forget that we change too. Our youngest called home in a panic. He couldn’t find his debit card. He took action right away by putting a hold on the card. The bank issued him a new card and let him know that it would get to his apartment in a couple of days. We told him to relax. He thought we would be upset with him and braced himself for a lecture. It never came. I told him that things like that happen and that I was proud of him for jumping on it right away.

“No lecture Dad?”

“What’s to lecture? It happens.”

Kids grow up. Parents grow up too. The life of an empty nester.