Sometimes you have thoughts that boil underneath the surface. You think about them and you push them back, but they keep coming up in your thoughts. Sometimes they’re about important issues that touch everyone, sometimes it’s about silly stuff that affects only a few people in your life.
Anyway, I feel like I keep having this happen to me. Here’s five things that I need to get off my chest:
—We undervalue our wins, but overanalyze our tiniest missteps. Some of us do this a lot, some of us do this a little, but my own unscientific opinion is that we all do this too much. We don’t realize how good we really are. I’m fascinated by the phenomenon. I see friends, acquaintances, and strangers do this too much. Heck, I saw it in a convenience store this weekend. A mom and little girl were picking up a few things. While they waited in line, a grandfatherly type praised the mom for how well-behaved the girl was. The mom turned around and thanked him, but told him matter-of-factly that her daughter was behaving because she wanted a candy bar. The little girl even shook her head dramatically up and down to put an exclamation point on it. All three of them laughed, but I I didn’t see the humor. The girl was doing a great job. Life is challenging enough — instead of downgrading our successes — let’s celebrate them.

Image by Pexels
—For every overnight success, we forget to look underneath the iceberg to see all the work and practice that went into it. Most overnight successes spent years honing their craft.
—I find anymore that when people talk politics or Israel and the Gaza or stilly things like asking the kid next door what his plans are when he graduates high school, it’s too easy to give a lecture and to judge, it’s better to listen. We think we know all the details, but we rarely do.
—When I was a kid, being 30 years-old sounded so old. When I hit 40, I was so focused on our kids and what they were doing, the decade raced by me. When I turned 50, I wanted to slow things down and improve my presence. Over the years, I still have a long way to go, but I see improvements. I’m much more comfortable in my own skin. I’m calmer. I’m happier.

Image by Alexander Suhorucov by Pexels.
—I heard US House Representative Matthew Gaetz talk the other day about the state of politics. Now, I admit up front that I’m not a Gaetz fan and I try to steer clear of politics, it’s now what I like to write about, but I heard him do something that I’ve heard others from both sides do that bothers me to no end. He talked about people who disagree with him like they’re the devil reincarnated. I’ve never understood that. I may have issues with the other side, but when did politics become about hatred for fellow citizens. I don’t get it.
Whew, that feels better. Yes, it’s better to get it out and get things off my chest.
Discover more from Writing from the Heart with Brian
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Thanks for giving this intention a name, Brian: “improve my presence”. Yes, yes, yes. Powerful – those three words. 🥰
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha, ha, it’s one thing to make-up your own words, now I’m making up my self help mantras. Ha, ha, yikes!!!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤣🤣🤣
LikeLike
Ummm….I LIKE it! More, please! 😉😎😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Next stop … I’ll set up my own Tony robbins course for success! Today “improve my presence,” tomorrow, “Brian’s nine steps to presence, enlightenment, & empowerment”!!!! Ha ha. Nah, not going to work. 😜😜😜🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m picking up what you’re puttin down! Sounds great! 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are absolutely right👏Perhaps it’s human nature to cry and focus more on negative and failures then positive and success.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I just thought it was as something to celebrate. I get sarcasm and jokes, I’m the king of that. I just feel that sometimes we don’t recognize how good we are. I hope I’m making sense. Ha ha
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do really do under value my wins.
This must be a relief… getting it off your chest
LikeLiked by 2 people
It was a silly but fun blog to write. Just blog ideas that all seemed to go together. We don’t give ourselves credit enough. We keep on keeping on, and often times we need to, because of life, but just wanted to stop and recognize the success too!!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a good stop…gave some of us something to ponder on too 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh boy.
I wish the mother had not said that. The child may have nodded enthusiastically, but in the long run, it will come back to her as she was never good enough.
We do undervalue our wins – most of us have been taught it’s not good to brag – why can’t we celebrate our winnings without being told to shut up? Of course, I’m not talking about those who are arrogant about it!
I remember seeing Huey Lewis in an interview. He spoke about how it took him twenty years to become an “overnight success”!
When it comes to things like war, opinions are high and you’re right, no one is listening.
Age is relative, isn’t it? I remember when 70 was old. That’s 10 1/2 years away… and a former boyfriend of mine is 72. Somehow, not so old now…
And that is the problem today – both sides are closed to discussion. You can disagree with another person’s ideas and still be open to listening. Maybe not the whole of their idea goes against you but no, better to spew that the other side is wrong and solve nothing.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Awesome Dale … I’m really glad my ramblings made sense. I’m not sure why but the scene with the little girl just hit me wrong. I’m as sarcastic as they come … but at least to kids, I hope I’ve been positive in front of them. Yes, I’m sure she wanted the candy bar but I kept thinking to myself, a positive comment here of there, wouldn’t hurt too. And as far as politics go, I guess I’m crazy but I don’t see the other side at least at the local level as the enemy. The guy next door could be liberal or conservative … but to me, they’re a good neighbor, why should I hate them? I just don’t get it! 🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
I KNOW a positive comment here or there would make a huge difference.
Exactly. As long as the neighbour is good, who cares who he votes for?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really good points!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for listening to me vent! My wife says she’s going to start to call me an old curmudgeon! 🤣🤣🤣🙂
LikeLike
Love the wisdom Brian, and I agree with you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wisdom or old guy yelling get off my lawn??? Ha ha, hopefully it made sense. Thanks Deb! 🤣🤣🫣😜😎😎😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Israel and Gaza is certainly a subject most of us don’t understand well enough to give opinions. I too used to think of 50s as old. It has now moved up to 69s.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes, I don’t feel like I really understand the history or know the ins-and-the-outs, but that doesn’t stop many people — even some friends and acquaintances— from throwing out their opinions. I don’t mind, but I like to try to remind them that the horrible news clips we see on tv are real life people experiencing these challenges with sons and daughters and people they love and dreams just like you and me. As far as old, I’ve moved it up to anyone older than 110. I feel I’m safe there! Ha ha! 😊😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Glad you got these off your chest, Brian. All very good points, especially agree with how we are all works in progress and to celebrate and not downgrade our successes. Politics has indeed become so heated these days and yes, Gaetz is a piece of work. Happy Friday!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Some might say I’m “a piece of work” too Ab! Hopefully … the right kind of work! Ha ha, hope you have a great weekend! Oh one more thing, speaking of successes, be proud of T’s and your family’s successes! That’s nothing to sneeze at! Way to go T! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
No such thing as an overnight success, unless we are talking about those oatmeal things people let sit overnight
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great, great line LA! You need to find a way to use that in one of your blogs or something you’re working on. Love it. And so true! 😊😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your first lesson is great (if also disheartening!) for me to see. It’s not just a my-family thing?!
Your middle lesson is something one of your recent posts is helping me with. “Am I talking with, or at?” One leads to communication, which is two-way; the other, not so much.
And your final lesson? Same. I love many people who disagree with me often and often quite emphatically, and they love me fiercely back. So in a toss-up between not-loving the opinion and not-loving the person, I’ll not-love the opinion and keep loving the person.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, I’m working on yhese too Deborah. I know I’ll get there eventually! Have a great weekend!!!!!
LikeLike
Your word ‘listen’ jumped off the page. Little things are really the big things, so celebrate celebrate the little things. I don’t get hate either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love how you say that the little things are the big things. So, so right. They make such a huge difference.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they do!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Living in Australia in the land of the self-deprecating, it is sometimes a challenge to celebrate success as it comes off to others like you are “big-noting” yourself. But you are right; we need to give credit where credit is due and focus more on the positive celebrating that rather than the negative. It seems though we are geared neurologically to pay attention to the negative. A legacy from neanderthal days when we needed to focus on the dangers in order to survive. It takes effort and habit to think the glass is half full, if you are a glass-is-half-empty person.
I also concur on the 30, 40, 50 thing. Much easier to be calmer and happier at 50 than when you are in the midst of doing life with too many demands. I think that also relates to prioritizing better as you get older.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Forestwood so much for your comment. You bring up a great point, especially how different cultures perceive things. I think sometimes my self-deprecating thought processes and even my sarcasm would fit better somewhere else. When I say we should celebrate our wins I’m definitely not thinking of the US’ sometimes obnoxious look at me, “I’m the best there ever was and ever will be” inflated ego. My bullet point had more to do with regular people recognizing internally the good things they accomplish each day and celebrating those wins and seeing the good in life. Thanks so much for stopping by! 😊😊😊
LikeLike
Indeed. I agree that regular people recognizing internally the good things they accomplish every day as well as the wins is a very healthy practice! Good on you!
Amanda
LikeLiked by 1 person
This post exemplifies what I love so much about reading you, Brian. Such great wisdom with fantastic examples tucked alongside. So good – especially, “We undervalue our wins, but overanalyze our tiniest missteps.” Yep!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha what a compliment Wynne. Gotta print this one out. And I thought this post was just a boring list of whiny complaints. 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you so much, appreciate thd feedback!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you feel better, Brian. It’s good to vent, and I agree with you. I’m also guilty of doing this. But I think there’s a way to share without sounding like bragging. It’s just so easy to focus on failures, but it’s not right. How do we move forward without encouragement and praise? It’s those little complimentary moments that can really make a difference.
As to politics, I don’t get it either. Even when we watch the presidential debates, it’s like watching kindergartners. When did that happen? Has it always been that way? Instead of putting the others down, why can’t they talk about what ‘they’ll’ do to change the world? So frustrating and frightening for the future. I’m stepping off my soapbox now.
Thanks for listening! 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
Oh, no, you need to stay on your soapbox. You make a ton of sense! Yea, I’m not a big fan of bragging or showboating. Maybe my issue is who should be getting the praise. In my mind, I was thinking about regular people who face challenges and push forward without a lot of fan fare. And you’re right, I was thinking of those lil moments that keep us going. As far as politics go, tell me what you believe in, tell me what your policies are, leave the name calling to lil kids who don’t know any better. Sadly though, most politicians seem to go the other direction. Yes, time for me to get off my soapbox too! 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha! That’s it though, “leave the name calling to the kids who don’t know any better!” What a concept! And it looks like we both kind of like that view from the soapbox! 😁🙃🤪🙃
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this post!
I like your style of writing. It’s so informative, uplifting yet humourous at the same time- that too when you are talking about certain sensitive topics! It has the perfect balance 🤩
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙂🙂🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
At Least, you ate relieved getting it off your chest
LikeLiked by 1 person