Rock-a-bye Baby

(A version of this story appeared on The Heart of The Matter on December 15, 2023.)

My wife and I rolled over at the same time. Our baby daughter was crying from her room. We were both tired, but I offered to go get her. You would have thought I told my wife that she had just won the PowerBall Lottery. In her exhaustion, she let out a huge smile, told me thank you, and to get her if I needed anything. The words were barely out of her mouth, and she was already back to sleep. 

I walked over to our daughter’s room, decorated in traditional Beatrix Potter Peter Rabbit wallpaper, and picked her up from her crib. Her face was a ball of fury, angry at me for taking so long. I laid her on our changing table and started to change her diaper. 

Hush, little baby

She stopped crying right away and looked up at me with a quizzical look on her face, like she was trying to figure me out. I lowered my face to give her a kiss on her forehead and she let out a little laugh. I might have been tired, but I had my audience. I did it again and she laughed again. 

It was the cutest little laugh. I didn’t care that it was two in the morning and we both needed our sleep, I did it three or four more times. I needed to see my baby girl happy and content. 

Quiet snuggles 

Finally, when I had her wrapped back up in a new diaper and pajamas, I pulled her close and sat in my rocking chair, rocking her. She wasn’t ready to go back to sleep, she started talking gibberish and moving her hands. I responded with my own gibberish — just two tired souls enjoying each other’s company. 

After a few minutes, I walked down to our kitchen with her wrapped in my arms, warmed up a bottle and then back to the room. I turned on some quiet music, gave her the bottle and rocked quietly back-and-forth, back-and-forth, the two of us in time to the music. 

A perfect moment

When I think about my life, a whole slew of memories come to mind, but I come back often to two key ones: when I asked my wife to marry me and this moment here where I looked down at my daughter and realized that my wife and I would survive the struggles of having a newborn and that there was nothing that I wouldn’t do for the little girl in my arms. 

There’s nothing else like the smell of a baby, which to my nose is a mixture of baby powder; clean laundry detergent; Desitin, the smooth white cream you use to treat diaper rash; and wet, sloppy kisses. I took in the smell and my beautiful baby girl. 

Peaceful dreams

We rocked for a long time, until I eventually laid her in her crib and she stayed asleep. The other night I thought about that night oh so many years ago and haven’t been able to stop. There was nothing special about it, but it’s always stayed with me. 

It reminds me that light brings clarity and that there are good things in life, especially babies and the love we share. 

What brings clarity to your life? 

Images by Pexels.