When empty nesters lie

I’m training to be a professional IndyCar race car driver. My wife? She’s become a world renown ballroom dancer. 

What’s going on? 

We regularly talk to our kids on the weekends. These conversations are always interesting. However, as empty nesters, we don’t always have a lot to say. They’re the ones doing lots of cool stuff with their lives, they’re traveling, they’re getting together with friends. The youngest just got back recently from spring break. 

Even their simple routine stuff like adopting a cat sounds like fun.

Me? What did I do last week? I took the dog to the vet. She rewarded me by pooping in my car. Yea, the kids don’t really care to hear about that stuff and, if they do, they’ll be making fun of me. It’s the same with my wife. She’s more interesting right off the bat, because she’s “mom,” but she’s in the same spot as me.

We sound so boring

So we’ve resorted to lying. That sounds so harsh on screen. Instead, let’s call it, exaggerating the truth. So far, I don’t think the kids are any wiser, but I came close to blowing it the other day. They paused when I told them I was taking a year off to learn how to become a race car driver. I got all kinds of questions on stock car racing versus IndyCar and Formula 1. I feared they weren’t believing me. What was I to do? Of course, my lie got bigger. I told them to look for me at the Indianapolis 500 when it runs on May 26. Yikes, I’m really in trouble now.

Later, they quizzed me on my plans to hike across Europe next year. They had lots of questions on my preparations and how I was going to survive. I choose to believe they were just jealous of me.

Time to fess up

Oh, I guess I could have come clean and told them the truth that I had a busy week with work and slept in Saturday morning as long as I could and then spent the rest of the day cleaning the bathrooms. Or that I went for a walk, but that doesn’t sound very exciting. It sounds, well, kind of boring and mundane.

Oh, the kids mean well. They each sounded interested when my wife said we went out dinner for burgers at Five Guys or when we mentioned the name of a favorite local restaurant. Yes, the kids act interested, but I have a feeling that they’re getting bored with us. 

I keep waiting for one of them to say, “Call us back when you’re interesting again.”