Flashing lights in the rearview mirror

When I was in high school, I went out one night with some friends and was on my way home. I remember it being a cloudy night and I was driving my mom’s car on a back country road. Another car, probably driven by an older kid, raced past me, well over the 45 mph speed limit. I sped up too. I don’t know how fast I was driving, but I bet I was easily 15 to 20 mph over the speed limit. The next thing I knew a police car with flashing lights was right behind me.

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Do the crime, pay the time

I pulled my car over to the side of the road. When were both stopped, the policeman walked up to my car and asked for my drivers license and registration. He asked if I had been racing the other car. I quickly told him no. He frowned and shook his head like he didn’t believe me.

He went back to his car to check out my license. I hit my hand on the the steering wheel. I was so angry, I didn’t have the money for a ticket. I was getting ready to go off to college soon and was trying to save every penny I had.

Plus, I had never been stopped by the police before. I wasn’t sure what I might be facing. I racked my brain trying to figure out something to say to the policeman to help my case, but nothing came. I knew I was at his mercy.

When the police officer came back, he scolded me for my “reckless driving.” I remember him telling me that I could’ve killed someone. I thought for sure a ticket was coming next. I braced myself for the worst.

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Doing a kind deed

Instead of pulling out a ticket, the police officer leaned over my window, replaced the gruff scowl on his face with a genuine look of concern and asked how my father was doing.

My father had a heart attack several years earlier and had been in and out of the hospital. When he was well, it seemed like we were constantly fighting. I said he was doing better, but he would be going back into the hospital soon for another heart procedure. I didn’t say much else, but I often wonder if my face gave away my feelings.

He paused for a second, put his hands through whiskers, straightened back up, and told me that he was letting me go. I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting him to say that and blurted out “thank you.” He stopped me though to tell me that he’d “send everything my way and then some” if he caught me speeding again.

He told me one more thing: to tell my father good luck.


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31 thoughts on “Flashing lights in the rearview mirror

  1. What a nice story. The only niggling thing is that I think to myself, what if he hadn’t known your father, and what if you’d been a young man who was Black. If only we could always treat each other the way that cop treated you.

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  2. How lovely that he paused to inquire about your dad. I love those small-town moments…and this one sticks with you, obviously, as a moment of grace. I appreciate Jane’s observation, too. I recognize I have so many unearned privileges in situations like the one you described. Thanks so much, Brian. 💕

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  3. I got so choked up at the entirety of “Doing a Kind Deed.” This section and my response relates to an incredible conversation I just had about how evidenced grace, not shame, creates the space for meaningful positive transformation. I’m so touched to see something like that evidenced so poignantly here.

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  4. I think this illustrates a privilege not everyone has of living in a small town and knowing people more intimately than when you live elsewhere. I also think this officer’s intent all along was to scare the crap out of you and send you on your way. For some people (including you Brian) that was enough. He was a good judge of character in many ways I imagine.

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    1. Yes, I agree, I think it shows the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small town. He let me go … but some of my friends complained that the same guy used to pick on young drivers, even though they had done nothing wrong. Who knows? I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle.

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  5. Kindness goes a long way, especially when it’s so unexpected. I remember being 16, having my license for a week, and getting stopped. I didn’t get a ticket, and I didn’t speed again for a very long time. Small mercies can make a bigger impact than deserved consequences.

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  6. I got pregnant my freshman year of college and went home during that time for the weekend. I must’ve blocked the memory of how mad my dad was at me. I just remember driving at least 120 mph (digital dashboard wouldn’t read over 120) back to school, bawling for hours, and getting stopped. I was clearly distraught, and the officer let me go. 🫤

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    1. Wow . . . thank goodness for mercy. I don’t have a law enforcement background, but I really do believe that sometimes the mere stop is punishment enough in ensuring that drivers learn their lesson and think before getting behind the wheel again. What a memory Crystal!!

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