I took the elevator down to the ground floor and walked to my parents car. We had moved my stuff into my dorm and all we needed to do was say our goodbyes. The quad area was crazy, parents and kids were coming from all directions, pushing and pulling trollies. I was saying goodbye to my parents for my first extended time away from them in my life. My parents were sad and they were saying goodbye to their youngest child, but were still excited for me.
Before we parted, my dad reached underneath his car seat and pulled out an umbrella. “Here, take this, you might need it.” My dad was the practical sort and wasn’t the most thoughtful person, so for him to think about something I might need, was surprising.
The umbrella was used, he had it in his car for a while, but he wanted to leave me with something. I remember laughing about the oddity of it — an umbrella of all things — but we said our goodbyes and that was it.
There when I needed it
Two weeks into the semester, I walked back from class in the rain. It was a horrible crappy day. When I got back to the dorm, I shook off the umbrella, grateful that my father had thought of me and that I had it in my backpack. Before I made it to my room, a guy from my floor stopped me in a hurry and asked if he could borrow it.
My classes were done for the day. I figured why not. “Sure, take it, just make sure to bring it back.” Of course, the guy never returned it. When I asked about it a week later, he told me he had lost it and started teasing me in front of a bunch of other guys on the dorm floor. “C’mon, you’re gonna give me a hard time about that crappy old thing, give me a break.”
It’s the thought that counts
The umbrella cost only a few bucks to replace, but the experience taught me a valuable lesson about my own values and the values of others. When I grew up, my friends looked and acted a lot like me. We had a lot of the same interests and education. When I went to college, I saw for the first time that not everyone thought the same or had the same basic values as me.
Like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.
I just assumed that since I would leave others’ things in the same shape that I had borrowed them, others would return the favor. Unfortunately that isn’t always the case. It was a minor thing, but I learned quickly thanks to that old umbrella that life isn’t always fair and some people just aren’t nice.
Images by Pixabay.
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Well said
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If nothing else, I learned that I needed to be harder or I would be taken advantage of by others. The positive side of the lesson was that I found some great lifelong friends.
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👍👍👍
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Life teaches us lessons that come in handy later.
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Oh definitely Sadje. I learned to truly value friendships. Grateful for that lesson.
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Yes it teaches to value good values in friends too.
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People’s perspective always colors their responses to things, sometimes not in a good way 😦
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People are good and bad. For me . . . going away from home for the first time, was a chance to learn that for myself.
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It may have been a minor thing, but that old umbrella carried some love with it. Symbolic good stuff from your papa – saying goodbye to you as you made a big transition and sending you off with the protection he had available. A trusty umbrella. I know it was just a ‘thing’ but I’m sorry it was never returned to you. Still — look at you today! Writing about your dad in a loving way – and the old bumbershoot! 😊
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Now I was still a kid and caught up in my own worries, but, even in the moment, I realized the significance and irony of the umbrella. Definitely a complex relationship though. Which makes me wonder . . . why are people so complex? Ha, ha.
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Oh golly…when you figure that one out, will you promise to report back and inform the rest of us? 🤣
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I was right there with you, feeling the disappointment when your umbrella wasn’t returned. Those of us brought up to respect others and their possessions are disillusioned with others don’t feel the same. Sadly, that’s life.
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Yup, I ended up meeting some great life-long friends so I guess I learned something from the experience. Ha, ha.
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Living away from home, and sharing with others, teaches us so many things … about us, our values, and other people. I’m sorry you lost your brolly, like Vicki said, attachments to your dad. Especially when thinking about your needs and giving it to you, was a big thing to come from him
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Oh, yes, I learned a lot of lessons living on my own! Ha, ha, some good, some bad, but glad for all of them!
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Those lessons make us who we are
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Great post. It was a quick lesson for me too. I found out by day three, hand washing my ballet tights and leotards and hanging them in the community bathroom. They were gone within minutes – soaking wet. Then a couple years later in my sorority, someone with a key to our bike room in the basement, stole my bike. A “sister.” They left the front tire which was locked to the bike rack.
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The tight theft would bother me. The bike would have really bugged me. You’re right a sister. I guess someone else outside could have gotten a key . . . but it would still make me question. Of course, something similar happened to me. I belonged to a fraternity and it was broken into over the summer and I lost my high school class right. Turns out it was the kids of the chapter advisor. Still bugged me though.
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It was an eye opener for sure. I didn’t grow up with theft, as you didn’t either!
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Oh my gosh Brian, I can certainly relate to your story. I guess when your values are based on your heart and your character, like you, “if” I used or borrowed something that belonged to someone else, I would return it in the shape it was lent to me. I thought I was going to get killed after I graduated from high school, and there was a girl who was a couple of years behind me, but didn’t have the type of circumstances I had. She wanted to play in our H.S. band, but didn’t have an instrument as required. So, I felt sorry for her and had my clarinet that my parents bought, that I used for 4 years in the band. I thought I was being a good sport, lending it to her, but told her I needed it returned, and she said she understood my position.
Well of course, she gave me the same excuse as your umbrella guy when I came home on summer break from college. I wanted to kill her because I knew my parents were going to kill me. 😡 That was a good chunk of change for us at the time. Fortunately, my parents wrath didn’t annihilate me, but honey, like you, it was truly an eyeopener about the value of your stuff in the hands of reckless people. 😫 SMH You live and you learn don’t you? 🙄
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Oh, you’re so right Kym. It’s such a big eye-opener. It’s a double whammy, losing first the item, and then secondly, losing faith in others. The umbrella was probably $5, but I’m not even sure I had a dollar in my wallet. Just glad there are good people in the world who get it!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I’ve learned the hard way that unless I don’t care about getting it back, I don’t lend it—especially to a stranger, and if it is irreplaceable. It’s a shame that a few thoughtless folks impact others—like shoplifters who contribute to rising prices. I’ve lost too many things that meant a lot to me through the thoughtlessness of others. In your case, it was “only an old umbrella”, but it had meaning for you. Thank goodness that for memories,
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People are people. There’s good and bad. Thank goodness there are more good!
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First off, that was so sweet that your dad did that for you. It is a gesture that extends beyond words and an umbrella.
And I’m sorry for the lesson learned that hard way with that guy from university. That was not cool and you’re right that sometimes, often times sadly, not everyone has the same values as you.
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Yes, I learned something good though too. I learned that I had a lot in common with others who didn’t look like me. I learned that your character is what matters!
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Such a great post that is so well-written. I wonder what happened to that guy?
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I wondered the same thing. I lost track of him. I don’t recall him being much of a studier, but who knows. Ha, ha.
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How sweet! His way of still trying to protect you from the unforeseen but know it’s coming.
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