A beef with God

I have a problem with the big guy upstairs. Yes, God. I’m not trying to leave anyone out, I’m calling God a he for brevity sake, but insert male, female, creator, Mother Nature, supreme being, whatever you choose. In his infinite wisdom, he blessed me with a creative mind and an imagination that brings me tremendous joy and happiness.

The big guy forgot something though. It’s a big thing too!

A Missing Piece

Yes, I love telling stories and writing and have a ton of fun playing with words and seeing what I can create with them. I couldn’t be happier with the gift. Yes, it’s hard work sometimes and can be incredibly frustrating, but I feel fortunate to be a writer. If you’re going to give someone a creative mind though, don’t you give them the full gamut of art skills? Some basic drawing, painting, or calligraphy skills, perhaps? Sculpture or the ability to work with clay or other materials? Maybe even a visual eye for photography or graphic design or even music and theater skills?

Nope, nope, nope!

I have none of them. In fact, the skills I do have are jaw-dropping horrific. Here’s what I mean:

• We’re at a get-together and the party-goers all want to play the game Pictionary. I tell everyone right away that I’ll sit this one out, but they want everyone to play. “You can’t be that bad Brian.” Of course, ten minutes into the game, my partner vows to never be teamed up with me again. “Yo, Brian, really, that’s supposed to be car? It looks like a circle. When did we start to drive circle cars?”
• I’m in a meeting and we need a note taker to jot the notes on the white board. “Hey Brian, you’re closest to the white board, can you take notes?” Nope, not if you want everyone to be able to read them.
• I’m in college, I figure that I need an art elective, I’ll sign up for Drawing 101. It will be fun, right? Several classes into the semester, the prof takes one look at my charcoal drawing of a human figure and says the “apple” I’ve drawn will look more lifelike if I add more shading. When he walks away, I ask my friend sitting next to me, “Where do you see an apple?”
• I open my mouth to sing Christmas Caroles and everyone all of a sudden doesn’t feel so Christmasy, they can’t get over the guy in the back who sounds remarkably similar to nails on a chalkboard and so off-key it hurts to hear him sing.

Heaven Help Me!

When our kids are home at the holidays, my wife likes to get everyone together and play old Bob Ross’ The Joy of Painting shows from the Web and paint together as a family. It’s usually a blast. The paintings by my wife and kids look amazing. We proudly hang them in our home. My paintings, meanwhile, look like a blob on the page. My wife tries to make me feel good by saying, “I like how you made everything look abstract.” I start to correct her, but decide to let her think whatever she wants to think. Some might call my paintings a home version of a Rorschach test. You know, those inkblot pictures that psychologists put in front of their patients and ask them what they see. “I see an elephant on the savanna. Hmm, wait, no that kind of looks like my grandmother eating an ice cream cone. Yes, that it’s it.”

Yo, God how about doing me a solid here and giving me a little talent and ability? Can’t you help a fellow out? I cry out, but God hasn’t answered me lately. Yea, yea, I suppose he’s got bigger fish to fry, like wars, famine, and life and death issues, but I’m still hopeful.

The Power of Art

Oh, I’m not really mad at God, I’m being sarcastic, but I do have to laugh at the craziness of the situation. I get very little peace from painting or drawing or plastic or decorative arts, or singing or acting, it actually causes the perfectionist in me more stress, but I get ton of peace from looking at and enjoying other people’s finished products.

In my companion piece today, titled Casting Another Line, on The Heart of the Matter, I write about a painting that my wife and I bought years ago for a few bucks at a craft show and how its calming image relaxes me and has become a part of my self-care routine.

Let me know what you think.

Related Story:

Casting Another Line

on The Heart of The Matter

Images by Pexels.