Changing with the times

When I was younger, I was wound pretty tight, struggling to keep all the bouncing balls at work and home from falling. There were times when I managed it well and, then other times, not so well.

I like to think that I’ve changed.

For example, three years ago, our youngest son was driving with a few of his friends and had to swerve to miss a car coming into his lane. In the process, he grazed the side of a third car to his left. As his luck would have it, the damage did nothing to the other car, but smudged up the paint job on our car. The car that almost ran him off the road? Of course, that car was long gone.

My son was worried how I would take it. He called us scared to death. He thought for sure I’d be upset. I suspect he thought I might even yell at him and take away his keys. In reality, I didn’t get upset at all, I was worried about him, that was all.

Image by Thomas B by Pexels.

A photo from that day came up on my phone the other day and I got to thinking how I’ve changed as a parent from when he was a young baby to now. Here’s three ways I’ve changed and three ways I’ve stayed the same. 

First, here’s how I’ve changed:

•  Mellow yellow. As I’ve aged, I much mellower. I find that I’m much calmer about life’s little ups and downs. I don’t get riled up as much anymore. I’m much more willing to go with the flow then to get upset over little things that don’t matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. (My kids may still disagree on this one, but my mellower comment generally holds true.)
• Steady as she goes. When I was a kid, I thought life was a sprint, I know now that life is really a marathon, resiliency and perseverance matter more than a 40 yard dash that’s over in a few seconds.
• Shh, listen closely. When my wife comes home after a frustrating day, my first reaction is to go immediately into superhero mode and try to solve all of her problems. I realize now that solving everything would make me happy, but that’s not necessarily what she wants or even what the person I’m talking to wants. Instead, I take a deep breath and remind myself . . . to listen.

Image by Pixabay.

Here’s how I’m the same: 

• The wheels on the bus go round and round. I’m a hard worker, but, when you cut to the chase, I’m actually a bigger kid than my kids. I love playing games and hanging with them. Oh, they might not have been able to see this in the past, because I was worried about this or that, but I’m very much a kid at heart.  
• Light at the end of the tunnel. I would be the World’s Best Father if I had to first write my kids before I opened my mouth and promptly inserted my foot. I’ve always been better at communicating via written word versus speech. Instead, I open my mouth and what comes out is fear and worry instead of the love and concern I have for the person I’m talking. Oh, if my voice were to magically disappear. I would probably be better off!
• The sky is the limit. I believe in my kids. Most of the time I view my role as their dad as chief encourager, at least at this point in my life, anyway.

As much as life changes, it stays the same.