My coworker was getting ready to go on a two-week vacation to Toronto. She looked exhausted and needed a break, so I offered to help her out by taking his place in his last meeting of the day, a weekly project update, and to sit in on a few important meetings for her while she was out.
You would have thought that I had offered her a million dollars. She was excited to get an early start on her vacation. The project update dragged on and was a bit more than I expected, but I couldn’t stop thinking about a study on kindness that I had read about last fall.
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Feel good mood
The study reported that spreading kindness not only helps others feel better about themselves — it can also boost the giver’s health and happiness and be a win-win for all. I had a few additional tasks added to my list, which I could’ve done without and, yes, I did my share of whining, but I felt good that I was able to help my team member.
According to the study, when you put the well-being of others before our own without expecting anything in return, it stimulates the reward centers of the brain. Those feel-good chemicals flood our system, producing a sort of “helper’s high.” Now I joked with my coworker that I expected him to bring me back some good Canadian beer or whiskey, but I can’t say that I expected anything in return.
Image by Greta Hoffman via Pexels.
A feeling that builds
Besides the helper’s high, the report cited that volunteering has been shown to minimize stress and improve depression. The kindness contributes to our overall health and sense of community and belonging, including lowering our blood pressure and leading to higher rates of happiness.
A few years my oldest son and I helped out with a United Way Day of Caring project. We helped with some basic yard work, raking and cleaning up some fallen branches, and painting an out-building for an older couple who couldn’t get around much anymore. When we drove away, I couldn’t help but think that it was all pretty simple stuff, but that was the point.
Yes, kindness goes both ways.
So true, kindness is a win-win. Btw, the next time you need to lower your blood pressure through kindness, feel free to come rake leaves or shovel snow for us older folks! 😏
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Ha, ha, you’re on Jane. I’m not sure I can convince my grown kids to help, but I’m in! ❄️🌨️😎😎😎😎
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I agree, Brian, simple things like opening a door for someone feel good too! The world is so negative, we deeply need this today. ❤️😊
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It’s negative, but always makes me good when I see people helping others.
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Yes! ☺️
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Kindness with expectation of reward
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I wasn’t expecting a reward from my coworker . . . outside of the chance to joke and give them a hard time for whatever work came my way. My wife is very giving. I don’t think she has a selfish bone in her body. Me, on the other hand, I’m much more slower to give to others because I don’t like it when people give you something, but have strings attached. When I’m in, though, I really do try to give altruistically without being devious or thinking about what I’m getting in return.
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I loved this post, Brian. It DOES feel great to do something kind for someone else with absolutely no expectations or hidden motives. And it feels AWESOME when someone is unexpectedly kind to me. That always restores my faith in my fellow human beings 💕
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Someone unexpectedly paid for my coffee the other day. Such a silly thing, but you would have thought that it was a lazy summer weekend and I had not a worry in the world. It just brightened my day. It’s weird how that works.
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I know 🙂🙂🙂💕
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I definitely think there is a “helper’s high” and it is one high I hope everyone gets to experience as often as possible. I know I enjoy mine!
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I’m with you Bruce. It’s a great feeling!
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So beautiful and true, Brian!! Thanks for spreading kindness in this world!
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I know I have my faults. I’m definitely not perfect, but always feel better after helping others, reaching out to others.
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Good reminder about volunteering. I have volunteered most of my adult life. It took me two years to get back to it after moving to Arizona. But it does make me feel good to help out. I was in a mother-daughter six-year volunteer organization with my daughter. We volunteered throughout the community from grade 7 to senior year of high school. I’m glad we got to share that time together, too.
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What a great experience to share with your daughter! I wish I had had more chances like that! Great stuff.
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We had some emotional experiences volunteering with severely handicapped adults. I’m glad we had the time together.
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That is so true, Brian. I have been back and forth to ERs over the last couple of days with a friend who has stage 4 cancer. Exhausted but glad to have been of help.
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Wow, I’m sure your actions are very much appreciated. You’re a great friend!
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I am not always a good friend – sometimes I get caught up in my own mental illness and forget the world around me.
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We all have that sometimes! I think it’s normal. We get caught up in our own lives.
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Helper’s high…helper’s heart…feel good all around…never-ending ways to be of service! Thank you, Brian! 😉😉😉
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We all need a lil kindness in our lives. Best way to feel better, look for ways to be of help to others.
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Agree, agree, agree…thank you, Brian! 😊
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Helping others does provide a feeling of happiness!
And hope they enjoy their time in Toronto. I’m biased but it’s a wonderful city! 😊
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I totally agree with you, Brian. Kindness is essential in life. It’s what makes the world go round. I love this post, and I, too, feel that if I can do something kind for someone else, I’m happy, but I also feel uplifted as a result of the giving. My motto on my family’s Facebook page is ‘you can never do a kindness too soon.’ It doesn’t cost anything to smile or say good morning to a passer-by. None of us knows what’s going on in another person’s life, and a smile or kind words might make a difference to how that person feels for the rest of the day. I used to put post-it notes in library books saying, ‘someone thought of you today’ or ‘I hope something good happens to you today.’ I wouldn’t have been popular with the librarians, but I always hoped someone would find a note when they needed it. The librarian would have thought me a bit eccentric and would probably have been right! Keep up the good work, Brian 😊.
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Not eccentric, just kind for caring about others.
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I also read that being kind to random people makes them more prone to in turn b kind to other random people. A good thing to do in the world.
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And we really need more of it, ’cause it’s in very short supply lately!
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Yes, definitely in short supply!!! Such a simple thing too. Ha, ha.
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You’d think, right?
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I really enjoyed reading your post. It was well-written, engaging, and inspiring. You shared some valuable insights and examples of how kindness can make a difference in our lives and in the world. Thank you for spreading such a positive message! 😊
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😎😎😎
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