I grunted "no." I didn't dare speak any clearer under my disguise or I would give away my identity. When I was ten or eleven, a local church had a Halloween party. You got dressed up in your Halloween costume and some of the older kids had to guess who was who. The last kid... Continue Reading →
Quaking in my Halloween costume
A giant skeleton hovers over the front yard. I'm sure you've seen similar ones. I'm guessing it stood 15 to 20 feet tall over the yard. The skeletons seem to be everywhere now. The homeowner also had a set of scary black and orange lights and miniature tomb stones. One head stone read Ichabod Crane.... Continue Reading →
The zombie apocalypse is coming
(A version of this post ran in 2015.) The zombie chases me. He’s frothing at the mouth. His shirt and pants are ripped and he — more animal than human — walks with an uneven shuffle. I run up the stairs to get away. Even with his limp, he keeps coming. He’s now about ten... Continue Reading →
Yikes, call me when Halloween is over!
Tangled spider webs hang from the roof. Plumes of smoke and ghost-like cackles come from the house next door. Frightening-looking skull and bones appear at every turn. And then to top it off, zombies with icky blood oozing out of life-like wounds and werewolf head outfits with glistening fangs all come knocking on my door.... Continue Reading →
Trick or treat, give us something good to eat!
"Darkness falls across the land . . . The midnight hour is close at hand . . . " As the opening lines to Michael Jackson’s song Thriller points out, it's that time of the year again when ghost, ghouls, and goblins come out in the middle of the day to scare the bejesus out... Continue Reading →
Prepping for the li’l ghosts and goblins
Halloween will be here soon. When the neighborhood kids come to the door on Halloween night, dressed as Batman or Spiderman or any number of costumes, I want to yell out “get off my lawn” or “go bug someone else,” but my wife shushes me and tells me to stop teasing. She usually sends me... Continue Reading →
The Sweet 16 of Halloween Treats
Let’s get ready to ruuumble. We’re looking live at the Candy Land Arena. It’s that time of the year again. Every one has a sweet tooth and the arena is jumping, it’s the NCAA Tournament, World Series, and Super Bowl of Candies. We're here for the 2021 Halloween Candy Championship. Folks, you're in for a... Continue Reading →
Horror of all horrors: Why I can’t watch horror movies
I blame it on Carrie. There have been some great horror movies over the years. Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Psycho, The Shining, and the Exorcist all come to mind. I’m a big, tough burly man and I sheepishly avoid them all like the plague or some crazy man with a chainsaw roaming through the... Continue Reading →
When life doesn’t make sense
Last I checked, 2 + 2 still equals 4; two wrongs don’t make a right, and a neutral atom still needs the same number of electrons and protons (at least that’s what I learned long ago). Sometimes though life has a way of surprising you. For example: --You carry your phone with you throughout the... Continue Reading →

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