Two guys on social media were going back and forth the other day. One called the other “soft” for wanting immigrants to be treated with respect, dignity, and due process. The other fired back, calling his attacker a “shill” in bed with corporate interests instead of caring about regular folks just trying to get through life.
It’s the kind of stuff you see all the time on social media. You don’t have to go far to find it.
The attacks make me think that we’ve never been further apart. It can be incredibly depressing. I saw a few figures recently though that gave me hope.
Supporting others with treasure
Americans donated more than $617.20 billion to charity last year, a 5.7% increase according to Giving USA. Notably, about 64% of that giving came straight out of the pockets of everyday individuals—more than foundation and corporate giving combined. Americans have been quietly digging into their own pockets for centuries to help others, reminding us that no matter who we are, we can make a difference.
Supporting others with time
Formal volunteering hit historic lows in 2021 during the pandemic, but the tide has turned.Gallup’s data shows that the share of Americans who volunteered in the past year has climbed back to 63%. Today, over 75.7 million Americans formally volunteer through organizations, averaging about 70 hours of service a year.
Supporting others right next door
The most common way we show up for each other doesn’t even make it onto a tax form. Joint research from AmeriCorps and the U.S. Census Bureau found that 54.2% of Americans—roughly 137.5 million people—regularly engage in “informal helping”. They are mowing a neighbor’s lawn, bringing groceries to someone who is sick, or watching a friend’s kids. This neighbor-to-neighbor care actually surpassed pre-pandemic levels, proving we are still wired to look out for the person next door.
The Real World
The next time an angry comment section makes you feel like the world is falling apart at the seams, that it’s “Going to hell in a handbasket,” remember that the loudest voices online do not represent the quiet reality of our neighborhoods. Millions of people, every single day, are choosing to give their money, their time, and their hands to make someone else’s life just a little bit easier.
That is where the real story is.
What about you?
I’d love to hear from you. What gives you hope? Let’s fill the comments with the real stories that don’t make the headlines.
Images by Pexels.
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Writing from the Heart with Brian 
A brilliant point of view, Brian, I completely agree with you. there are so many wonderful people still around, Americans are good people. The leftist media and social media do all they/it can to divide us. I think we were better off without all of this technology.
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John, we’re on different sides of the political spectrum. I have far more issues with the far right media (Fox, Breitbart, NewsMax, OAN). I find that their approach and spin is all about separating us. As an example, I point to the $787.5 million that Fox paid out for lying about Dominion’s voting equipment. So we sit on opposite sides. But, I think what really matters is that I fully agree with everything else that you wrote. People are generally good. They care about their neighbors. They want to help. There is good in the world.
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I have met so many wonderful people here in Las Vegas, and lots of Michigan natives too who are also escaping the bitter winters!
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Your post is so timely Brian. I was reading the comments in a random post and finding my blood boiling. The post itself was engineered to bait rage and the comments undoubtedly included bots created to do the same. It’s sad and infuriating that our attention and rage have become monetized.
I love your proposed antidote to combat disagreement and manufactured dissent through acts of connection and charity. We need more of this – especially in these times of incivility!
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Acts of connection and charity . . . I much prefer that to the arguments we see on social media.
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I left the socials for this reason, the aggressions, the lack of common sense and fundamentally if respect for whoever has different opinions, but like you I feel the loudest are not necessarily the majority, or at least I hope so🤓
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I came to say the same thing. I quit social media and the news about 12 years ago and it’s nice because my attention in on my immediate community and what we are doing to help one another. I think it would serve people well to shift their focus to friends, family, neighbors, and other small local communities… there is so much goodness when we are interacting one-on-one versus labeling one other.
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I still like to watch the news and stay informed, although some day is unnerving🙄 but I totally get your choice and it’s advantages.
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The reporter in me feels that it’s right and good to stay up to date on the news. But, in this day and age, you really do need to limit yourself to keep your sanity.
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Absolutely, I agree.
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Goodness one to one versus labeling. I like that.
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The aggressiveness on social media is crazy. It can be hard to stomach. The loudest are most certainly not the majority. Thank you Ortensia.
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My neighbors and I all talk to each other, share food and labor, look out for each other, all free of argumentative talk about politics. It’s wild to me how rude people can be to each other when they are online and spared the reality of having to be face-to-face with another human being. It’s so much harder to be cruel and to forget someone else’s humanity in person than it is when they are a completely disembodied comment online.
This summer, I reached out to parents of my daughter’s school friends – most of whom I didn’t know well. We hosted outings and playdates so that my daughter could keep in touch with her friends over the summer, and it was a delightful experience getting to know the parents and the kids better, and see my daughter continue to build her friendship skills. It was a small thing, but I am so happy I did it and saw the positive results!
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“It’s wild to me how rude people can be to each other when they are online and spared the reality of having to be face-to-face with another human being.” I’m with you. It blows my mind. They forget that there is a real person on the other side. Good for you in reaching out to your daughter’s friend’s parents. Those connections make a huge difference. Good for you.
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It is best to focus on the good intentions of folks and not automatically jump to conclusions about their political ideals. Thanks for sharing this post.
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I’m with you John. Good intentions. People are generally good. My father used to say “People are People” — meaning that they care and mean well.
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So true.
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Long live grassroots goodness! There’s very much of it and it’s commendable, even if we have the tendency to help those with whom we have the most affinity.
I’ve mixed feelings about social media. If it helps keep a person sane and sedate to pull the plug, and as long as they are not then so oblivious to the bigger picture that they can’t make informed decisions about that.
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Yes, social media is a double-edged sword. Lots of positives. Lots of negatives. And yes grassroots goodness makes a big difference in our lives.
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I barely look at the comments on social media anymore. The keyboard warriors are the small majority for sure.
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Oh I’m a glutton for punishment. I occasionally look. Justice and fairness are big with me. It bugs me when I see falsehoods . . . but yes the smarter thing is to not even look!!!
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If I started answering I would be banned lol
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Me too Tracie. Me too. 😎😎😎😎
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I think part of the problem is that kindness has a lousy publicity department. LOL. Anger announces itself, arguments demand an audience, and outrage practically arrives carrying its own megaphone. Meanwhile, someone quietly takes a meal to a grieving neighbor, pays for a stranger’s groceries, sits with someone who is lonely, or gives up an afternoon to help somebody—and most of the world never hears about it.
This makes me think of the Bible character Elijah. He became convinced that he was standing virtually alone, only for God to tell him there were still seven thousand who had not bowed to Baal (1 Kings 19:18). Elijah simply couldn’t see them from where he was standing.
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Kindness needs a new PR agency. Ha, ha. I’m with you. I think most people really are good at heart. We just get caught up in the bad news and selfishness that we see. Kind of like Elijah.
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Thanks for the reminder. There are good, decent people out there, unsung heroes who don’t announce their every move on social media 🙂
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Oh, I’m with you. Good and decent people. It can be hard, but I still believe most people are that way. It can just be frustrating at times. You gotta believe.
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I love our Arizona neighborhood. We are always there for each other helping in small ways. I didn’t have that in Palm Springs at all even though we lived there for 28 years. I had a few exceptional friends who came to the rescue more than once, but they were not neighbors, but parents of friends of our kids.
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We’ve stayed in our current home much longer than we ever expected simply because of our direct neighbors. If we didn’t have them, I suspect we would’ve moved somewhere else. That’s great that you have great neighbors now!!!
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Well said. The loudest voices don’t necessarily represent the whole. Our neighbors are the best! We’re having a small party this weekend to thank them for their many acts of kindness—everything from bringing over Irish stew every St. Patrick’s Day to shoveling our stairs in the winter when the snow removal crew hasn’t arrived yet. It’s been my experience that, overall, people are kind and caring.
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I’m with you. Overall, I do think people are kind and caring. It can be hard, but I try to never forget that. And that’s such a nice thing to do for your neighbors. Love that back and forth!!!
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Great post, Brian. We have been increasing our donations to causes over the last several years, continuing that tradition you wrote of about Americans digging into their pockets to help others less fortunate. We also have an “arrangement” when we have snow that we’ll clear our next door neighbor’s sidewalk and driveway. They have lived next to us as long as we’ve been in our home (21 years), and we’ve had such a positive relationship as neighbors there is little doubt we’ve been here this long in no small part because of them (as you noted in your comments earlier).
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Love that Bruce. Well said. Good neighbors make such a big difference.
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yes, this is so right, and it’s often that those with the least, give the most. it can be time or financial, but they understand the need for help and have a desire to do so.
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You made me think of two great quotes Beth. One is from the Bible: “To whom much is given, much is expected.” Luke 12:48.
I also couldn’t help but think of a favorite William Penn quote: “I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.”
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those are both great, thanks for sharing them
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Maybe I’m a bit of a Pollyanna, but I think the majority of people are still kind and decent who would help someone in need. That said, there should be a clear separation of school, religion, and politics, because people get sucked into arguing about those things until they’re blue in the face and rarely, if ever, change someone’s mind.
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