12 cassettes for a penny revisited!

I reviewed the list of record albums like my life depended on it. I’d put one album on my list and then take two others off. I had been going at it for forty minutes. I had no plans to stop anytime soon. I kept going back and forth. Eagles Live, check. The new band, The Outfield and their 1985 album Play Deep, check. English Singer Steve Winwood, Back In the High Life, check.

I sat at the desk in my dorm room looking over the list of cassette options. I should have been looking over my homework and maybe even studying for my upcoming Chemistry exam, but this was way more interesting. The sarcastic voice in my head made a convincing argument. Grades be damn. My musical choices would have a bigger positive effect on my mental state than my dry Chemistry class.

New generations don’t know anything about Columbia House. It’s a name from the past. Back in the day though Columbia House was a popular mail-order music and video club, founded in 1955, that played a major role in music distribution from the 1970s through the 1990s. It served as a key way for music lovers to discover and access new music. Columbia House was the Spotify of its day.

An AI image of a 1980s dorm room.

All for a penny

Columbia House would run advertisements in Rolling Stone magazine or other magazines. They also sent out frequent mailers offering 8 to 12 cassettes for a penny. Once you became a member, you would then agree to buy 5 to 8 cassettes at regular club prices, usually around $12.98 to $15.98 each, over the next three to five years.

Of course, the devil was in the details. Columbia House would send you a monthly Selection of the Month Form. If you failed to return the form within 10 days, they would automatically ship the cassette to your door. I used to joke that it was “a sucker form” — you needed return it in time or count on paying for the cassette.

Image by Pexels.

But first, let’s get back to my selections. U2’s War, Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet; AC/DC’s For Those About to Rock (We Salute You); The Cure’s, The Head On The Door; and Van Halen’s 5150, check. From the Columbia House mailer that I had received, I tore off the small stamp of each album cover, moistened the stamp, and attached it to the order card.

In high school, I relied heavily on my local radio station to listen to music when I studied or relaxed. I would occasionally steal my brother’s cassettes. When I went off to college, I couldn’t count on my brother anymore. If that wasn’t bad enough, the radio stations in my college town needed lots of help. They played the same tiresome Top 40 hits. They lacked any kind of personality. I could borrow from other guys in my dorm, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If I wanted to expand my listening tastes, I needed to improve my music collection.

Original Columbia House Advertisements

Choices? Choices? Choices.

But oh the choices. There were so many options.

I finished out my list with Journey’s Frontiers; Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA; REM’s, Document; and the Clash’s London Calling. Columbia House always had these deals where if you bought one right away, you could pick two free cassettes. I forget the details, but I know I came away with two or three additional cassettes. I was on a tight budget. I couldn’t buy everything. I put the stamps for the Philadelphia area band The Hooters and their album Nervous Night; The Big Chill Soundtrack; Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits – Volume I & Volume II; Adam Ant’s Friend or Foe; and Prince’s Purple Rain back for another time. I think Frank Sinatra, B.B. King, Eddie Money, 38 Special, Meat Loaf, the soundtrack to the movie Amadeus, Foreigner, Genesis, and Stevie Ray Vaughn were on the reserve pile too.

I mailed the form and my check and all I had to do was wait. It seemed to take forever, but sure enough two or three weeks later, I got a package in my college mailbox — my new cassettes. I couldn’t have been happier.

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There’s always a catch!

Like many things of that era, there was a downside.

And that came if you forgot to mail the Monthly Selection of the Month form. I knew I had to time my purchases out to when I had money flow, so I was careful to watch for the monthly forms and immediately mail them back. I usually took care of it the same day I got the form. It was still hard to “game” the system. One month I missed and got Elton John’s Live in Australia with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra in the mail.

I was furious with myself. I put the cassette in my cassette player prepared to hate it. I owed money on this! I couldn’t be buying a bunch of one-hit wonder cassettes or ones that I didn’t really like. I prepared myself to be let down. However, the more I listened to the Elton John album, the more I liked it. I remember thinking, “okay, maybe this isn’t half bad.” The mail order business may have come and gone, but when I hear that album still today, I think of my worn out Columbia House cassette.

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Bringing down the curtain

It took me a year or so, but I eventually bought my last couple of cassettes and was finished with Columbia House. We didn’t have the Internet back in the day. You couldn’t go online and immediately cancel your subscription. If I’m remembering correctly, you had to jump through a few administrative hoops to cancel your membership. I think I called a customer service line. I vaguely remember writing a hand written letter too. After several attempts though I was finally free of the membership.

Times have certainly changed.

We live in a different time and place. I haven’t played a cassette in more than a decade. Most of my cassettes have long been thrown out. Most people listen to music today through streaming services like Spotify and Apple Music, according to Gallup, the global survey firm. Streaming services account for roughly 40% of music consumption, closely followed by video platforms such as YouTube and TikTok at 30%, and then radio and physical media such as CDs, vinyl, and downloads. Finally, surveys show that people listen for an average of 20 hours per week.

An AI image of a 1980s dorm room.

Once upon a time

The closest thing to Columbia House now is possibly Sirius XM, the satellite and online radio service, and its aggressive promotional offers. They give you a 3-month free trial and, once you’re set up in their system, they start automatically billing you. There’s also the enormous advertising campaign that iHeart Radio, the all-in-one digital audio streaming service and radio broadcaster, runs across its members stations.

Columbia House peaked in 1996 with $1.4 billion in revenue but failed to adapt to the changing times. They missed out on the digital music revolution and streaming services, falling victim to declining physical media sales. Columbia House suffered because of it and filed for bankruptcy in August 2015.

But oh, it was king for a long time. It certainly came up big for me. Who wouldn’t love 12 cassettes for a penny? Or eight CDs for a penny?

Did you ever belong to Columbia House? Who would you pick? What twelve music groups and albums would you choose for your list today?

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