We’ve got a man down: An Update

I was walking through a long tunnel. It seemed to go on for miles. When I looked up, I noticed a light — a bright, sparkling white light. As I made my way, people reached out to shake my hand and greet me with smiles. I’m not sure how long I was there. At one point, I looked up and saw my dad. He gave me a hug. When we separated, he pointed forward and urged me to continue on my journey. He disappeared as quickly as he had come.

I kept walking. I felt a deep joy and peacefulness. Follow the light Brian, follow the light,

Kicking the bucket

A few minutes earlier, I had been sick in bed. I had been fighting a cold for more than a week. I was in a broken sweat and coughing uncontrollably. To make matters worse, I had a pounding migraine. One minute I was struggling, the next minute I was hovering over my body walking through the tunnel, seeing life and my role in it in a whole new way.

Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk, I need to stop there. Oh, it’s an interesting image, but there were no lights. No choirs full of angels and saints. No near death experiences. Instead, I’m describing how my beautiful wife saw my recent cold.

If you listen to her mock me with stories about man flu, you would’ve thought that I was close to being a goner. You would think I was knocking on St. Peter’s gates. You would think I moved up a level on the great video game of life.

Yes, she mocks and pokes fun of me.

Living on borrowed time

Oh, I would love to fight back. I would love to disagree. I would love to say “yea, I was toast until some hot shot doctor brought me back from the dead.” I would love to do that, but I know I can’t.

As I wrote last week in We’ve got a man down!, my pain threshold can sometimes leave a little to be desired. It actually leaves a lot to be desired. It’s really kind of pathetic! When I get sick, I’m a mess.

Oh, I’ve worked long hours in my day. I’ve been a “man’s man” and suffered many different cuts, bruises and lacerations. I’ve experienced my share of stings and pains and surgeries to boot, but I freely admit that I’m no match for my wife. She’s as emotionally, mentally, and physically strong as they come. She’s my hero. Here’s two big reasons why I say that:

–Growing pains. She’s delivered three kids. To top it off, she had a chance to get an epidural three times to help numb her body from the belly button down and she passed it up each time. She opted to go without to reduce the risk to herself and the baby. No epidural! Now my hands and arms suffered because of her choice. She held onto me like life depended on it, but that’s okay.

I just know that I couldn’t have gone without an epidural. If it had been me, I would’ve been reaching for the pain medicine. $%@?! the deep breathing techniques. $%@?! the peaceful, calm thoughts. I would’ve wanted some assistance and I would’ve wanted it now!

God forbid I ever pass kidney stones or get kicked you know where. It will not be pretty.

–No pain, no gain. She’s proven that she’s stronger than me countless times. When we were in Hawaii in our early thirties, we drove the Road to Hana. When we reached Haleakala National Park, she fell on a damp part of ground and dislocated her elbow.

She was in enormous pain. When we got to an aid station, an off-duty doctor helped manipulate her elbow and put it back into position. Thanks to the intense soft tissue injury, doctors describe it as extremely painful procedure. They describe it as a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. That’s the one where the face is dark red and contorted in some unimaginable, unspeakable pain. Yikes!

I cringe just thinking about the experience. Of course, I don’t even think she let out a scream.

–A pain in the neck. She’s dealt with my sorry ass for more than three decades. D’uh. If that’s not a sign of strength and resilience then I don’t know what is.

Oh yes, my wife is the strong one!

But yes, I am back on my own two feet. No more man flu for me! Hallelujah and praise the Lord! It’s a miracle.

How’s your pain threshold? Are you a pushover like me or a champ like my wife?