A mother’s grief

A poignant scene in the movie Saving Private Ryan happens when General George C. Marshall reads a letter that President Abraham Lincoln wrote to Mrs. Lydia Bixby, a widow believed to have lost five sons during the Civil War. 

The movie is make-believe, but Lincoln’s letter is most definitely real. In the letter, Lincoln writes:

“I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.”

Different era, similar thoughts

President Franklin D. Roosevelt wrote a similar letter to Mr. and Mrs. J. E. Rogers in January 1943, offering comfort for her three sons killed in the Battle Of the Guadalcanal.

In his letter Roosevelt wrote: “I have just been advised of your loss of three sons who gave their lives in the performance of their duty in action against the enemy. There is little that I can say to lessen the burden of your grief. However, I want you to know that your great sorrow is shared not only by myself, but by the entire Naval Service. Your sons, Jack Ellis, Jr., Edward Keith, and Charles Ethbert, gave their lives in the service of our country which owes to you and them a debt of undying gratitude. As Commander in Chief, I express to you a nation”s sympathy. I pray that God will comfort you and give you strength to bear this great sorrow.” 

Honor and mourning

The Rogers letter and another to the Sullivan family whose five sons were killed when their ship went down, also during the Guadalcanal campaign, are believed to be the impetus that led to the adoption of a rule that attempts to separate family members in combat areas.

The U.S. celebrates Memorial Day today, honoring military personnel who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. It is observed on the last Monday of May.

We have any number of problems in the U.S. right now. However, I’ll still spend some time today honoring and mourning these great sacrifices and so many others. Here’s to those who sacrificed so much.

Saving Private Ryan

All images by Pexels.


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29 thoughts on “A mother’s grief

  1. My mother lost all three younger brothers during WWII. That’s why I had to write their family story, Leora’s Letters. Leora Wilson was their mother, and my delightful grandmother for four decades. The loss of those brothers shadowed my childhood.

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      1. Only the youngest is buried here in Iowa. Their father died of a stroke and a broken heart just over a year later. So one of them is buried in an American cemetery in France. Dale has never been found. Mom struggled with depression because of their losses.

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    1. Same to you Mark. Yes, it’s one of those movies that if I stumble across it, no matter where it is in the movie, I have to sit down and watch. Ha, ha, love great movies like that. Hope you have a great long weekend too.

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  2. So well said, Brian. The current challenges in the US will pass. But the legacy of the brave who fought for your great nation will last. Happy Memorial Day!

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  3. Saw a good program on ABC today about Vietnam vets revisiting and taking about their experiences. Very powerful. That’s how we should spend today, remembering, not barbecuing and picnicking. So many have given so much. I hope we don’t blow it.

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  4. Writing those letters must have been the hardest thing Lincoln and Roosevelt had to do. I think of that often. I begged my mother to go with me to the movies to see Saving Private Ryan. I should have known better. Of course she would not. Everyone in her generation ‘moved on’ after the war and reliving it through that movie would have been far too painful. I get it. May we never forget their sacrifice.

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