Becoming a hermit

When Pat, a family friend, lost her husband in the mid 1990s, she found herself rudderless. She couldn’t get out of bed. She had a tough time moving on from the loss.

They had been childhood sweethearts. They had spent a lifetime together and when their kids were finally out of the house and on their own, she lost her best friend.

A priest friend of hers suggested that she attend a local silent retreat. Participants would spend their days reading the Bible, meditating, walking, resting, and spending time alone. Pat decided to check it out on a whim. She learned that she loved the experience and went back every year. It helped her find herself again and get her back to enjoying her life. She talked often about how it helped:

• Reduce her stress.
• Improve her focus and concentration.
• Boost her listening skills.
• Bring a deeper connection with her thoughts and emotions.

Pat was like a second grandmother to me and encouraged me to attend a silent retreat. I get why she thought it would be right up my alley. I’ve joked often with friends about my dream of loading up a suitcase, snacks and essentials, and driving deep into the woods to an isolated cabin.

Me, myself, and I

In my dream, I never get too carried away with where the cabin is located. It could be in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania, the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia or North Carolina, north in the Adirondacks in New York or the deep woods of Maine or Montana, close to the Canadian border, or even in the Pacific Northwest in Washington. The location doesn’t really matter. There’s really only one prerequisite. There has to be more wildlife than people.

I must admit that the cabin in my dream is pretty cozy. It’s a combination of what you might find on the pages of Travel + Leisure Magazine meets The Yellowstone TV series. There’s usually a large bay window, a roaring fireplace, and a lush leather sofa looking out over a beautiful mountain range or lake. It’s far from “roughing it.”

Shutting out the outside world

Despite the look and feel, the opening scene is always the same. Once I close the door to the cabin, I shut out the outside world. Yes, I can easily see myself signing up for a recluse’s life, shutting out the news, social media, door-to-door salesmen and women, and everything else remotely close to frustration and anger.

I’m sure this experience for many would be a nightmare. And then there’s me. I know exactly how I would spend my time. I would hike in the woods. I would hone my nature photography skills. I would slow down and enjoy my meals. I would write and finally finish my novel. I would read and be deep in my own thoughts.

I would put my phone in a drawer and keep it locked away until my weekly talk with my kids. Oh, let me be clear—I need my wife. I’m lost without her. But, I’m guessing she could use a week or even a month-long break from her crazy husband. (Heck, my guess is that she’s searching for “remote cabins” on VRBO or some other rental site as I write this!)

Finding inspiration

I guess I should explain—I don’t really hate others or small groups or even being with other people. I’ve been told by others that I’m actually a “people person.” Who knows? I’m just not a fan of stress and drama.

So, yes, I have no plans right now to run away for a few weeks to that cabin in the woods. Saying that, I’m sure that I’ll sign up one day for a week-long silent retreat.

In the meantime, I keep searching for ways to balance life’s stresses. Lately, I’ve been threatening to get rid of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and myriad of social media and news apps. Anyone else contemplating the same thing?

While I love the idea of giving up social media, I keep finding something new on them that inspires me. It’s definitely a Catch-22.

I write more of my challenge in my piece Giving Technology the Heave-ho on the Heart of the Matter. Check it out. Before you go, though, let me know what works for you? How do you step away from life’s pressures?

Related Stories:

• Giving Technology the Heave-ho on the Heart of The Matter.
• Letting go of the stress
• Oh, it’s too early in the morning!
• A tribute to strong women