It’s the thought that counts

Today is Black Friday, the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season in the U.S. and beyond. Management Consulting Firm Bain & Company estimates that retail sales in the U.S. from Black Friday to Cyber Monday could increase by 5%, reaching a record-breaking $75 billion

It’s natural to think about gift-giving this time of the year. I love brightly wrapped presents, all shiny and new. More often than not, though, it hasn’t been the price tag that touches me. It’s the thought behind the present.

Image by Pexels.

Here’s a few of the gifts that jump to mind today:

—Our first, first, first Christmas. Every year, when my wife and I pull out our box of Christmas ornaments, we joke about needing remedial math. We have “First Christmas” ornaments for four or five different years. There’s the Star Ornament for the year we were dating. There’s the snowflake for when we got married. We even have a pair of doves for year two of our marriage, when we finally felt settled. It’s strange, but I like all the different “first year” ornaments. It proves that we may have problems counting — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. But, we’ve stuck it out and made a commitment to each other.

—All aboard the Christmas Train. When our daughter and son were born, we spent Christmas Eve putting their wagons and other toys together. The crazy thing about creativity though is that you never know when a great idea is going to come. As I finished up one toy or another, I had an idea. I decided to build a train. I used the two large Gateway Computer boxes that were taking up space in our garage. Remember Gateway? We had purchased a new Personal Computer. The boxes that the computer came in were perfect to decorate for the kids. I envisioned a train engine and a caboose. I spent the rest of the night turning my rough idea into reality. Ironically, when morning came, the kids played more with the boxes than the expensive toys Santa had put under the tree. In the end, it didn’t matter. We were just happy that they were happy.

—Giving the Gift of Education. When our daughter was in middle school a little over ten years ago, she came home the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in tears. She wouldn’t tell us what was wrong. We had to pry it out of her. Of course, as a father, I feared the worst. I thought maybe she had been bullied or hurt by another student. As we sat with her on her bed, we got it out of her what was bothering her. She was frustrated. She felt like she wasn’t being challenged and worried about was going to happen in high school. She was a freshman and couldn’t imagine four more years of struggles. We weren’t surprised unfortunately. She had felt this way in the past. She was reaching a breaking point.

Now the gift part came months later, but it started from these early conversations. Our daughter wanted to know our thoughts on her applying to a prestigious Girls Prep School. The boarding school was about 45 minutes away from us and pulled students from across the country and the world. They held a few spots each year for local day students. We spent the rest of the winter researching our options. My heart said yes. My head with a better understanding of our checkbook and limited financial resources said, “Whatcha you talkin’ ’bout Willis?”

Fortunately, our daughter won a partial scholarship, but we would still need would need to be creative in coming up each year with a large chunk of change and drop her off and pick her up each day. We considered the question for the longest time. In the end, I couldn’t say no. I was determined to move Heaven on Earth to help her.

I got my reward three months into the school year. She came home jumping up and down right before Thanksgiving break. She was literally jumping excitedly in our kitchen. The work was incredibly hard and she spent her evenings cuddled up on her bed studying late into the evening. But she was excited because she was the only girl in her class who knew the answer to some esoteric question her History teacher had asked. The pride and excitement spread across her face. She had accomplished something. “It’s cool being smart Dad.”

It wasn’t technically a Christmas gift. Yet, I’ve always associated it with the holiday season, because it’s when the idea first started to take shape.

Forget the crowds

I haven’t braved Black Friday crowds in a long time and I won’t be out there this year. There’s no Cabbage Patch dolls or Tickle Me Elmos or new PlayStations or new technology gadget on our shopping list. Thank goodness for small favors.

In the end, I’ve found that giving and receiving are never about the money. It’s always about the meaning behind the gift.

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• Gifts of Christmas: Faith
• Opening the presents