In the driver’s seat

It’s my lucky day.

By the time most people read this post, I’ll be on my way to pick up my youngest son from college. I’ll spend most of the day in my car. If I were a wiser man, ruled less by my own heart and emotions, I would’ve made him take the bus home for Thanksgiving Break. He’s a junior and has lots of friends and acquaintances with cars. I’m sure one or two of them had to stay late on Friday like him and will be traveling in our general direction. I could have pushed him harder to seek out a ride.

Yes, yes, no matter how you look at it, encouraging him to find his own way home would have been the smarter decision. I had to leave even earlier than normal, since snow, as much as 5-8 inches in spots, and more in the mountains, will be coming down across portions of Western Pennsylvania and West Virginia. Oh, I have work. I have my own deadlines and obligations, but — if I’m honest with myself — I miss spending time with him.

(On top of that, our two older adult children will not be making it home for Thanksgiving this year. Our daughter will spend Thanksgiving with her boyfriend’s family. She’ll be back with us on Christmas though. And our other son is in the military and will spend the holidays overseas. Oh, to be clear, we’ll video conference with both of them on Thanksgiving Day. It will be a crazy call where everyone tries to talk at once, but I’ll be happy to have talked with them. But, don’t kid yourself, it will be strange not celebrating together in person.)

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The heart wants what the heart wants

We’re an evolving, maturing family of sorts. When your children are young, you naturally assume they’ll always spend holidays at your table. But things happen. Life happens, so I admit to being excited about spending some time with our youngest. I get that it’s a reality that may not always exist.

So, I’m trying to savior every minute while it lasts. If the trip home is like any of our past ones, we’ll talk about what’s going on in his world. We’ll talk about his classes, his highs and his lows. My job will be to . . . well, how do I put this in a nice way — Keep my damn mouth shut, stay out of the way, and let him talk! Oh, I’ll ask questions. I love being in the know. But, the last thing he’ll need from me is dad pontificating like he knows everything. To Hell with the Dad Lectures. He studies hard. He works hard. He’s earned my trust, not my helicopter parenting.

Oh, we’ll talk a ton of sports. With football deep into the season, we’ll talk about the NCAA rankings and the newly formatted playoffs. Go Penn State! Yes, that was an ugly loss to Ohio State, but prove them wrong. And, we’ll talk about the NFL too. Go Philadelphia Eagles!

Finally, I’ll give him an update on the extended family. He’ll want to know how everyone is doing. We’ll touch a little on current events and a smidgen of politics. We both get exasperated by the news of the day, so we’ll move quickly onto other things. With the snow, I’m sure I’ll complain about the weather.

We’ll see where the conversation goes. Mostly, I’m looking forward to the miles passing by, even if it’s at a slower than normal pace, and chilling with him.

Images by Pexels.

On the road again

I’m apparently not the only one who appreciates the value of long car rides. Actor Jeff Daniels knows a thing or two about what I’m feeling. As I was planning out my week and the drive, I stumbled across an interview Daniels gave last year. He talks about how he got to know his two sons better in Michigan, away from the glitz of Hollywood, on long car rides to hockey tournaments. I found myself fascinated, shaking my head in agreement (see segment 1:20 to 2:20).

“I think that our time spent with the kids in those car rides, not talking about hockey, paved the way for the closeness we have as a family in their 20s and 30s, that was more important than any career success I might have had. . . . “

Oh yes, my heart knows what it needs. It needs family time and, in the long run, it will definitely be time well spent. I just need to remember what Mr. Weber, my high school Driver’s Ed teacher, taught me long ago: Keep my eyes on the road, hands at 10 and 2, and keep a safe speed. The trip is all about being in the moment — not coming back home with a speeding ticket.

Here’s to listening to your heart and open roads.

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• Farewell and see ya soon!