Everyday faux pas

The driver pulled close to the car and then tried to back into a spot, then pulled up again and then back. The guy was driving a Honda Accord and he was trying his best to parallel park, but he was having a heck of time. He couldn’t seem to get it right. Forward then back, forward and then back.

I couldn’t help but watch while I finished my lunch. I found the sight of the driver repeating his steps more appealing than looking around the empty restaurant, my overcooked burger, or the talking heads on my phone.

In a weird way, I felt bad for the driver. Unless you’ve been driving tractor trailer truck professionally for the past ten years or you’re a natural whiz, parallel parking is one of those things that you’re doomed to look like a fool. It got me thinking about other things that make you look like a fool. Here’s a few of them:

—Trying to act like a New Yorker when you’re not. A common offshoot of this principle: saying your “From Philly.” When you mean you live in the Philadelphia Suburbs. A big no-no.

—People heavily into sports, trying to talk about the arts. “Hey, did you know there’s a Broadway show about cats? Next thing you know they’ll make a show out of a Disney animated movie.” Hmm.

—Old men trying to look younger. Dad bods may be all the rage, but that doesn’t mean we want to see you without your shirt! (Hence, why there is no photos anywhere of me without my shirt. Ha, ha.)

—Business people who use hard to understand acronyms and jargon like synergy, core competency, food chain, leverage, reinventing the wheel, and thinking outside the box. Let’s all speak English please.

—Trying to carry the groceries in from the car all in one trip. It might save time. It might even save a trip or two, but you’re bound to look like a fool, especially when you trip on the paper towels that fell out of the bag. (I speak from experience on this one.)

—Trying to blame others for your failures and putting others down.

Oh, I could go on and on. I’m sure I’m missing a few. What would you add?

Discover more from Writing from the Heart with Brian

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

24 thoughts on “Everyday faux pas”

  3. I earned big points when I parked in one swoop 😉

    Acronyms are such a pain when you are new to a business and everyone speaks around you. Until you learn the lingo, you spend lots of time lost.

    There are quite a few dumbasses on that video!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh gosh…nothing to add at the moment, but I’m sure something will come to mind! I have intense performance anxiety about parallel parking – gah! If no one was looking…I might be fine…but what you described about watching? You can’t NOT watch, right? And I LOL’d about bringing in all the groceries at once. Why do I try? So many failed attempts with food flying everywhere. Thanks for the giggles, Brian! 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I hear you about performance anxiety with parking. We were in Washington, D.C. recently and I had to parallel park with a crowded car. Ugh. I was so happy that I went right in on the first try. I expected some applause. Maybe some congratulations! I got nothing!!!! I told my wife and daughter they were going to walk home. I wasn’t taking them. Ha ha ha 🤣

      Like

  5. When you have balance issues combined with weak knees, one hand always needs to be free to grab a banister to support your balance as you walk. I can only manage all of the grocery bags in one trip if there aren’t more than three and none of them is overly heavy.

    I have never been fond of parallel parking. I drive a full-size SUV and when I see certain parking spaces, I am not confident enough that I will even fit in the parking space between two cars.

    And haven’t all of us, at least once, tried to pull open a door that pushes in or push at the door that pools open?

    I have a very dear friend who cannot walk and talk at the same time, at least 99% of the time. When she starts to say something, she simply stops walking and stands still wherever she is to say what she wants to say.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ahh, the Austin Powers parking mishap is always amusing the watch, except for the poor driver. 😆 The shirtless dad bod crack made me chuckle too!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This one is the biggest one of all: “Trying to blame others for your failures and putting others down.” Ad for parallel parking that’s my super power. I can’t pull into a parking spot straight though. I’m always over the lines on one side or the other.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Companies simply refuse to speak plain English anymore. Everything management says has to be googled to find out what the hell they are talking about. I often wonder if everyone in charge really enjoys using all of this “enthusiastic” jargon, or do we have at least a few logical thinkers among them who think it’s just as dumb as workers do.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh, you’ve provided so many great examples, Brian. Love the acronym one. Oh yes, that’s a minefield.

    But your best example is trying to blame others.

    I think I’d add an extension of that one – making fun of others to try to build yourself up.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I can’t think of anything new because you’ve provided such great examples, Brian. But I can say that I’ve been ‘that person’ who goes back and forth trying to parallel park, hoping that no one is watching. 😂🚙

    Like

    1. Oh, that’s me too. I’m not much of a parallel parker, but I’ve gotten much better over the years (thanks actually to my wife. She’s the city driver. She actually taught me how to parallel park.) I’ve gotten better, but put me in front of others and I’m definitely back and forth. Ha, ha.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

Discover more from Writing from the Heart with Brian

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading