Competition for my time

My wife called up from the first floor asking when I would be coming down. I acted like I didn’t hear her and kept working. A few minutes later, she asked again. I played innocent. I told her that I hadn’t heard her the first time and asked for ten minutes.

Twenty-five minutes later, she called up again. I could hear her annoyance and ran down to meet her. We had agreed to grab a bite to eat, run a few errands, and then go grocery shopping. You have to forgive me. I was doing the best I could.

I was trying to manage my mistress. 

Image by Josh Willing by Pexels.

Let’s repeat that again

Oh, before you start sending me any nasty comments my way or draw any crazy conclusions, let me explain. My wife and I have been happily married for 30 years and my mistress is not that kind of mistress.

As long as I’ve been married, I’ve long tried to manage family and work time. I love spending time with my wife and kids, but I’ve also tried to balance everything that comes with life. We all have different demands and obligations. I find as a writer that poses an especially difficult challenge.

Yes, my mistress is not another women, but instead, my writing.

A demanding beauty

My writing demands that I spend time thinking about future stories and posts. She keeps me up at night and at the most inopportune times. I try to focus on work for example and she pulls my attention onto the writing ideas floating in my head.

When I’m successful in stepping away from her, she reminds me of how there’s nothing more frustrating than spending too much time away from the laptop. You have ideas, but the frustration grows and grows, and not being able to act on the ideas before they float away can be the most frustrating experience of all. If there is a hell and I’m sent there, I’m sure that’s how it will be for me. 

Image by Asad Photo Maldives by Pexels.

Balancing it all

My mistress whines for me to spend some time with her. She teases me that I haven’t visited her in awhile. She beckons me to come to her. She flirts and teases about the time we’ll spend together. But my wife is my soulmate and best friend. I need to spend time with her. My family needs me too and I need them.

It’s a fine line us writers and creatives walk in our life. We need to let our minds wander and create, but we also need to stay in real time and spend time with the ones we love. Too much of either, can bring us down. 

So I told my mistress to back away for a while. She pouted and grumbled under her breath, but I didn’t care. My wife and kids come first.

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74 thoughts on “Competition for my time”

    1. That was the idea Erin. A little play on words. Ha, ha. When I told my wife about the story idea at first, she wasn’t a fan. I believe her exact words at the time were, my mistress could have me!!! Ha, ha. When I showed her the finished piece, however, she got a good laugh. Ha, ha.

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  2. Very great. The wife and children have the first place in our lives. I was very pleased with your good article. The happiest thing is to write and write down something beautiful, to write something good and publish it and let others benefit from it.

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  3. Ah yes, trying to find balance among family, work, and writing. It can get tricky at times. As for trying to snatch idea before they float away, I’ve found that typing the idea into the Notes app on my phone is helpful. Still, some ideas manage to get away. Sigh.

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    1. Yes, I’m trying to force myself to do that more. I find that when I do that, at the very least, I’m able to bring back the emotions I was feeling when I came up with the idea in the first place. If I don’t write something down, it’s tougher to re-generate those early feelings. Ugh. Ha, ha.

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    1. Which do you like better Crystal. My original title was “A different kind of seduction.” I changed it to “Competition for my time.” I liked the first one, but I started to have my doubts. Ha, ha. While the piece is meant to be a little different, I started to think maybe I had gone too far. I find that headline writing is the one area where I really miss being able to throw around ideas with other people. Miss that back and forth. Ha, ha.

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      1. Titles are tricky, but good ones are like the best movie previews. They draw us in and make us want more. In my humble opinion, #1 didn’t go too far. We all have things that seduce us away from our loved ones. I’m sure most writers relate.

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  6. Fun and funny, Brian! Is this an unavoidable writer’s malaise? I told Wynne the other day that I really want to stop writing – in my head – at 3am. If I wake up and an idea pops to mind, I jot it down, but it often turns into more than a note. Just easier to get up, get the thought out at my keyboard and then go back to sleep…maybe. If you figure out what the antidote is, let me know! 🤣

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    1. I keep a notepad by my bed. Some times that helps. If it’s a really important piece that means something to me . . . I will get up and work on it. Yea, I need my sleep, but I love that enthusiasm for writing too. Better to get it out and then go back to sleep then think about it all night and still not be able to remember everything the next morning. Ha, ha.

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  9. I hear you Brian. I call this my “muse,” but it’s really not a good excuse – hey I just made a rhyme. Anyway, the writing can become an obsession, but if your spouse understands the need you have for writing, it really helps. I’m blessed to have a husband who also is an artist, so he gets it.

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  11. Oh yes, perfect post! There are not enough hours in the day, which is why I do a lot of my writing at night, LOL! Sleep is overrated.
    But when I am writing during the day, my husband has learned that when I say I just have one more sentence to write …. and then I will be there. Wellll…. it turns into more than one sentence. Thankful for our spouses who understand. 🙂

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  13. What a demanding mistress Brian. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s funny because I have a mister on the side who wakes my butt up in the middle of the night and want some attention! 😱 Fortunately, I have an understanding husband, at least I think he is anyway! LOL 🤣😝😂 Good luck trying to balance those two relationships! 💖💖💖

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  14. Wow—a wife and a mistress. What a balancing act. Good for you for having your priorities in order—even it it’s a major challenge to pry yourself away from one long enough to satisfy the other. Looks like you’ve got it worked out. Good for you!

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  16. The best kind of adultery, Brian! 😆 Love the clever post. And a menage a trois your wife might understand. Jokes aside, it’s wonderful you have this relationship but also that you draw healthy boundaries.

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  18. “It’s a fine line us writers and creatives walk in our life. We need to let our minds wander and create, but we also need to stay in real time and spend time with the ones we love. Too much of either, can bring us down. ”

    Aptly put 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    It’s not easy though. I guess over time, responsibilities increase and it becomes difficult to manage the said ‘mistress’. However if you are able to do what you are passionate about and are also able to somehow spend time with one’s family- you are truly blessed. What my parents always say is that we can never be perfect at everything – but we can be perfect at trying at least 😊

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    1. Ohhh, I like how you’ve phrased that, “perfect at trying.” I think that describes a lot of things where my heart is in the right place, even if the final act might not be. Yes, I find writing and life responsibilities can be a challenge to balance, but I find that when I’m keeping a regular writing schedule, the happiness that writing brings makes me a better person. If I’ve written for the day, when I sit down and talk with my kids, I’m more “in the present.” I’m calmer and more relaxed. I’m a better person.

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      1. Yes! The way you have explained towards the end- that you are able to be more present- is what sums it up perfectly. People who don’t feel the same find it difficult to understand.

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  19. I don’t admit this to too many people but I too am embroiled in a lifelong affair with my muse! I get so lost in thought when I’m writing I don’t even hear what is going on around me. I love spending time in that space, lost in the zone, just me and my muse. Hours pass without notice. Larry gets frustrated sometimes because to him it looks like I’m just sitting there for hours doing nothing. It’s difficult to balance writing time with family time especially with your spouse but both deserve our best efforts. Great post Brian. Hugs, C

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    1. It sounds like you manage it well. It’s definitely a balance. Love how you describe being lost in that space. It is such a fun experience. I feel lucky that my wife gets that about me. I just try to not go overboard with it. A tightrope, right? Ha ha

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  20. Oh my goodness, I absolutely love this post. Especially, “It’s a fine line us writers and creatives walk in our life. We need to let our minds wander and create, but we also need to stay in real time and spend time with the ones we love. Too much of either, can bring us down. ”

    The balance is so hard to find! Thank you so much for writing about this, Brian!

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    1. Oh, it’s definitely a struggle Wynne. I’m probably better at managing it, but it’s still there. I definitely faced it more when the kids were younger and needed more of my time. I didn’t have the blog then but I remember trying to take mental snapshots so that I could return to creative ideas later.

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    1. I’m glad you got that Emaistace. I worried people might pick up on it that I was playing with words and joking. When my wife first read it, she gave me a look, until she read further. Life is a balance. I fit my writing in where I can! 😊😊😊😊😊

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  27. Yeah, feeling that. Writing is not like a 9-5 job where you are off when you leave the office. You never know when inspiration strikes.

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    1. I’ve learned over time that you need to be able to create on demand (especially in the workplace) and that’s fine, but my own writing, the stuff I really care about, comes when it wants to come, need to try to balance inspiration and life. Ha ha, always challenging. 😎😎😎

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  28. Pingback: Competition for my time – OFScribers
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