Saying the hell to conformity

I’ve never met Joon Park, a chaplain at Tampa General Hospital, but I feel like I know him well. Park, 41, was featured recently in a CNN article and has counseled thousands of dying patients and their families.

In the article, Park explained that most of the regrets he sees from patients on Death’s Door come down to basic fitting in, meaning “I only did what everyone else wanted, not what I wanted.”

He explained that often it’s not our fault. “Sometimes our resources, the systems and culture around us did not allow us to. My hope is always to fully see and hear this patient, who is now finally free.”

Image by Vlada Karpovich by Pexels.

Being genuine

When I read that, I had an instant liking for Park. I’ve tried throughout my life to follow my own path and journey, but I still can relate. I’ve certainly had my moments of falling in with the crowd, instead of standing on my own.

I’m not sure what brought it on, but I thought back instantly to the creation of this blog. I remember when I first got the idea for it and worried about revealing too much. I told myself that I was simply being prudent and cautious about identity theft. Some of that was legitimate, but I was also fearful of revealing too much and letting others into my shell.

We tend to call it different things, some refer to it as being vulnerable or straightforward. I’ve heard others call it “letting your own freak flag fly.” I tend to view it as being your true self. When I considered the blog, I knew that I wanted to write about my life. I wanted to write about my ups and downs. I wanted to write about things that mattered to me including stories about my life and family. I wanted a chance too to explore my thoughts and feelings, my crazy outlook on life, with equal parts sarcasm and optimism, and, God forgive me, my humor. I expected that one day I might write about something that happened on a family trip, another day I might write about my faith, and a third day I might write about some pet peeve that I came across on my way to the store.

Image by Vlada Karpovich by Pexels.

Being true to myself

I didn’t really understand how the blogging world worked and I certainly didn’t know what to expect. I clicked “publish” on my first blog and thought I was done for, I was stepping out of the conformity line. My real life friends generally know that I started my career as a newspaper reporter and corporate communications professional, and those tend to be different than the normal, nine-to-five job, but I’m not sure they really understand what it means to be a writer. I wasn’t sure how they might respond. On top of that, I fully expected the Blogging Police to pull up to my house, tell me that I had crossed some imaginary line, and send me off to jail.

At the same time, I felt a freedom I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. I felt like a long-term employee who works hard every day without complaining and makes everyone else’s day brighter and job easier without acclaim and then one day gets the surprise of his or her life with a huge companywide celebration for making a difference. Yes, I felt the same surprise.

Here’s to stepping out and saying the hell to being like everyone else. I can’t speak for others, but when I’m me, I’m much better off. So, yes, I’ve never met Joon Park, but I thank him for the reminder, yes, it’s better to be true to me.