High school games in an adult world

The girl punched me gently on the arm and ran to her class. When she got to the door, she looked back, told me that she couldn’t wait to go out with me and lipped the words “thank you.” The last thing I saw was her smile, which carried me the rest of the way to my own class.

Most of my high school memories are faded like worn chalk on a blackboard, but some still standout. The smile on her face is one of those, it stands out in bright yellow highlighter.

I had been building up the courage for weeks to ask her out. We didn’t know each other all that well, but by chance had a class together my senior year. We commiserated about our crappy classes and the happenings in our school.

Image by Quenani Leai on Pexels.

One day, in between class, I found myself walking alone with her and somehow managed to get the words out. I wasn’t the smooth talker that I am now. [Yes, yes, insert hysterical laughter here.]

My happiness, though, was short lived. I was rushing to track practice late in the day. I was going to be late to the start of our warm up and I saw her again. “Oh I’m so glad that I caught up with you Brian. I can’t go out with you on Friday.”

Umm, hello what did you say?

My heart sank. I forget the full story, but a friend who she knew since elementary school was suddenly back in the picture. Where was he before? I have no idea, but what could I say? I wanted to yell out that my heart wasn’t a dog’s play toy, but I couldn’t see much good in it.

I would love to say that I told her off by saying “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” and that I turned my back on her in disgust, but I wasn’t great with one-liners and I just wanted to melt into the ground and never come out again. Of course, I was crushed.

The games people play

I’ve forgotten lots of things from high school, but I was recently reminded of that rejection. I find that it reminds me of the games we played in high school and some of the games played today by coworkers, friends, and acquaintances who should know better.

For example, we were talking with a large group of acquaintances and friends this spring and everyone was complaining about how no ones gets out of the house anymore and goes to the movies. We’re all stuck at home. Some people blamed the pandemic, some blamed the challenges of managing school and work. Despite the size of the group, we made a promise to coordinate a group date night when the movies opened to see Barbie or Oppenheimer. Sure enough, when both movies were in the theater, we learned that one pair of friends who had signed up to the organizer had gone to both movies with another pair of friends.

What about what we talked about as a group? Apparently they forgot all about it.

In the grand scheme of things, it was pretty minor, all kind of petty, I just found it odd that the rule breakers who had been so loud and demanding in making sure we all got together, were the first to jump ship. Yes, all pretty minor, but I didn’t see the need to play childish games. 

Image by Mian Rizwan on Pexels.

Life goes on

I guess when it comes down to it, I never played the high school clique game all that well and refuse to go back in time. You know the cliques, the popular kids, jocks, brains, stoners, band geeks, loners and so on. As much as we fight them, I still see many of these cliques today. We just call them by different names.

For me, I find that it’s better to judge people by their actions than the groups they belong to. When we treat the janitor and the CEO the same, we find that roles may seperate them, but the end of the day, they have more in common than differences. So where’s that leave me. Yes, it may mean some awkward moments, it may even mean being left out, but I have to say, I’ve always felt lucky that I learned when I did that my high school friend and I wouldn’t be going out.

If anything, I felt grateful and that I lucked out. Better to learn a friend isn’t a friend than in a time of need.

No games for me!