It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day comes on Tuesday. It will be here before you know it.
Valentine’s has so many different meanings. For some, it’s a burden, a reminder of what’s lost or never was. For others, it’s a commercially-created must-do, a check-box of sorts: “Gotta get the heart-shaped chocolates and a dozen roses or I’m sleeping in the dog house!” And then for others, it has deep meaning.
My views on love have been developed over a lifetime of living. It’s rooted in shared perspective. In many respects, I feel like I’ve been lucky when it comes to love. I know many others have not been so fortunate. In any event, here’s some of the things I think about when I think about love and Valentine’s Day.
Speaking of love, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s missing, what did I get right?
Image via Pexels
Image via Pexels
Image via Pexels
Image via Pexels
I’d say I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. 💝 I have the cards bought for my husband. Since I’m on holiday, I’ll take him to his favourite coffee shop for coffee and cake. Yes, I’d be happy with flowers and chocolates – although the flowers don’t need to be roses.
However, we both baulk at the rampant commercialisation of Valentine’s Day and tend to treat each other at other times of the year. If you love someone, you should show and share that love every day, not just once a year because the calendar tells you to.
I also think, as you said, the constant, in-your-face advertising puts pressure on everyone, creating a lot of stress and unhappiness, even depression for those who are single or divorced, bereaved and widowed. I know my brother will feel it keenly. He lost his wife at the age of 40 a couple of years ago and her absence still leaves a gaping hole – Valentine’s Day just makes that hole more profound.
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I love your approach. Show and share that love every day, not just once a year because the calendar tells you to. Yes, yes, yes. And I do feel for people who get hit heavily with the commercialism of Valentines. That’s not love, that’s corporate pressure. Feel for your brother and others like him. Hopefully, they’re supported by others and reminded about what’s important. Thanks Brenda . . . definitely on the same track!
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Yeah, I’ll keep my brother focused on the holiday to us he’s planning later in the year
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Sleight of hand trick. That sounds like a good plan!
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Oh, golly! That last quote from Robert Fulghum? Weirdness for the win, LOL! I think that’s been the secret sauce in a 4-decade marriage…the hubster’s weird and quirky…and so am I…and we make each other laugh. I think that must be ‘mutually satisfying weirdness’, right? 🤣😊🤣
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Same as Vicki! Buddy’s weirdness combined with mine keeps us laughing. And thank God for it. We can relax into our unique weirdnesses and be authentic. And… have fun, of course!😀Great quote and post, Brian!
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I love this Kendra. And so fun to “see” you!! 🙂 ❤
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Thank you, Wynne! I miss everyone – good to “see” you too! ❤️
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Me three Kendra. Thanks for stopping by.
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Weirdness is a good thing. You are so right too, when my wife and I found each other, I was able to finally let my guard down and just be me. Never had that before. Three decades later I can’t get enough of it, still very important to me. Relaxing into each other’s unique weirdness, well said. Thanks so much for commenting! Hope all is well. Thanks for stopping by.
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A great post, Brian. I love all the quotes, especially the last one! My hubbie of almost 34 years and I live in a world of weirdness that few understand but that we revel in. Happy ❤️’s day to you, Brian!!
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All these quotes work for me, Brian, but at 55 years and counting, I’d say that #2 works best for me.
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I couldn’t agree more Jane. I care much more about my wife’s happiness than my own. If she’s happy, I’m happy. It sounds trite, but it’s really not. Thanks so much for commenting. Really appreciate it.
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I might have to re-use your line Stockade. Lots of wisdom in what you wrote: that your husband and you “live in a world of weirdness that few understand but that we revel in.” My wife and I can relate to that on a number of levels. I appreciate the feedback. I almost stopped these Saturday quotes. I’m really glad I didn’t.
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I love that Robert Fulghum quote too. But I have a funny Robert Fulghum story – he’s a Seattle-ite. Taught at an exclusive private middle/high school here that Bill Gates went to. But a few years ago, one of my neighbors relayed the story that our other neighbor’s girlfriend left him for Robert Fulghum. Maybe it was true love – just like the quote. 🙂
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Wow! What a story! 😉😳😉
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Oh wow – a little scandal too, maybe? I don’t ever want to know these kinds of details about people I KNOW, because it makes me sad for them and it’s none of my business, etc. But when it’s someone you only know OF, it feels scandalously interesting! Especially since they kept it within the neighborhood, so to speak. 😯
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😉😉😉
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That’s what I was thinking. An awesome story. Wynne for the win.
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Funny man! 😎🙂😎
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Oh I try Vicki, I try. Usually fail, but I try. Ha, ha.
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🤪😉🤪
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That’s too funny Wynne. You never know. I guess when he said that quote he found his fellow weirdo. No matter what, I love the meaning behind the thought. Ha, ha.
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Aww, I’m glad you liked that. There are lots of sappy quotes about Valentine’s and love, but that one just spoke to me. It hit me as being one of the quotes closest to the truth. Love is hard. Love can be challenging, but when you find someone weird like yourself and who gets your idiosyncrasies, it makes so much more sense. Thank you . . . Congratulations btw on four decades. A huge accomplishment by you guys!
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Thanks, Brian! 😉
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Brian, my mister and I have been together 55 years, married almost 51. We’ve gone through all the phases of love – the crush, the lust, I’m in love, the deep “let’s get married” love, the wild “let’s make a baby” love, the “I think it’s gonna last” phase and now the “comfy-cozy-contented “I love you” phase.
Younger relatives and friends ask “what makes for a strong and long-lasting marriage?” and my answer is always the same: “to like your partner as much as you love them, respect, communication and a sense of humor; the last one is vital.”
Thanks for the great post, Brian.
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Wow, that is awesome. Fiftyfive years! Congratulations. No small feat. And absolutely love your suggestions. They are so important and so many people lose sight of them, especially the last two. If my wife and I didn’t learn how to laugh at each other early in the game, I’m pretty sure we would be goners by now. Gotta laugh at life sometimes. Thanks so much for commenting. Love it. Congrats again!
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Thanks, Brian. Always a pleasure!
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Yea, well I’m counting on your tips to help keep me out of trouble. I’ve made it three decades . . . but my wife just commented about a couple honey-do projects that I’ve been slow to start. I could be in trouble. Uh-oh! Ha, ha.
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Enjoyed your thoughts and delightful quotes, especially the last one.
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Christine, I had another quote lined up, but I saw it and knew I needed to include it. I’m not sure about others, but I think it fits perfectly. Thank you for commenting.
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My husband would say it is a commercial plot to separate him from his money. But he did buy that chocolate box and played the game right. It’s a cute day to celebrate love and. Make lots of people uncomfortable. Do I dare? Is she my valentine? Anyway, this year it will make me uncomfortable too, just remember what I once had.
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I worried about making too much of Valentine’s Day. I didn’t want to make anyone feel sad or uncomfortable. I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I don’t know that I have any great words to lighten your burden, but I’m be sending positive thoughts your way, hoping that you’re able to remember the good times. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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I didn’t feel particularly sad or uncomfortable reading the post and beyond missing what I have lost ( which I do almost 24/7) I will not make a big deal of the day either. 😉
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In any event, still sending thoughts and prayers your way Alessandra. You’re extremely brave and courageous. Wishing you all the best.
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Thank you!
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The second quote is perfect Brian! It’s not, or shouldn’t be maybe, about 1 day. If love doesn’t come in the oddest of moments or the most painful of times then roses and chocolates seem trite to me. I would want to be loved in every moment, everyday not made to follow the dictates of a heavily commercialized *holiday*.
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I love the idea of focusing people’s attention on kindness and letting people in your life know that you care about them. But the focus on commercialism and smaltzy love doesn’t do much for me. And you’re so right, love is about good and the bad, the highs and the lows. Valentines is about what’s the best way we can sell more candy, flowers and cards. Ha, ha.
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I love your line “My views on love have been developed over a lifetime of living.” Yes – not only does our love change and grow – but our understanding and appreciation of it grows too! 🙂 ❤ Great post, Brian!
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Yes, my views have changed on love have changed from when I first proposed to my wife. In reality, I had so much to learn. I wouldn’t say I was naive, but I’ve learned a lot about life — the good and the bad — since then.
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Valentine’s Day has little meaning to me these days which is unfortunate, bummer.
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Aww, sorry John. That’s what I hate about the commercialism of Valentine’s Day. It makes everyone who doesn’t fit their mold or buy their card/chocolate/diamond ring feel bad and that is not love. Love is so much stronger than that. Anyway, sending positive thoughts your way!!!!
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Thanks, Brian. After three divorces I find it very difficult to want to even date. It’s been 7 years since the last one and I have yet to even think about dating. Yet, things could be worse so I try to be positive. 👍🏻🙂
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Hope is a good thing. You never know. Sending positive thoughts your way John.
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Thanks, Brian! The door may open again…
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Your posts always provoke thought. I am afraid anything I say will sound like a cliche. How about, I love you, I love you not? Love is a crooked path, depending on the day.
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Thanks AgingwithGrace! I almost stopped posting these Saturday quotes, but I’m so glad I didn’t. I really love the back and forth comments. I know you may worry about cliches, but love is not cliche. The only cliche is what Madison Avenue tries to sell us. Love comes in a lot of different shapes and sizes. And you are so right, love is a beautiful crooked path!
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Great post with some wonderful quotes. Thank you for your perspective on what is a hard day for many.
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Thanks Belinda! Yes, I really tried to not focus too much on the commercialism. You are so right, it’s a hard day for a lot of folks. I always liked what one of my elementary teachers focused on back in the day, she focused less on the love aspect and more on being nice to others and celebrating the special people in our lives. It actually made it a fun day! Wish others did that too, then I think people wouldn’t be so turned off by it. Thanks so much for stopping by, really appreciate it.
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I think I’m in the minority here, Brian, because I don’t have a Valentine in my life, not that I mind. The last so-called relationship was with a guy I thought I could trust eight years ago, but he turned into a con man. Valentine’s Day doesn’t bother me, personally, except that I hate the commercialism that goes with it and the pressure it can put on partners to spend on expensive cards and red roses etc. I was only once given a Valentine’s card from my husband, now my ex. All well and good, you might think, but when I opened it, it was addressed to ‘Carol’, who, it turned out, was having an affair with my ex! I’m guessing he wouldn’t have been in her good books, as she must have got the card meant for me!
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I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry Ellie. I’m glad he’s your ex. You deserve better. I wrote this elsewhere, but I always liked something an elementary school teacher did. She focused less on the love angle of Valentine’s Day and more on being kind to others and people in our lives. It went from being something everyone dreaded to being a fun day. Plus, we were silly elementary school kids, why the focus on love anyway. I really wish companies and more people looked at Valentine’s like that. A day of kindness. Yay!
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You can definitely laugh with me about my ex and his girlfriend. He was abusive to me anyway, so to be honest, I was better off (not financially, though) without him. He got away with not having to pay maintenance for my two children, having lied about his savings he had stashed away somewhere. I managed on benefits and a part time job as soon as they were both at school. It began to really enjoy the peace and my indepence. It had always been me who dealt with all the finances (except I didn’t know where his savings were and couldn’t prove anything.) So, I managed quite happily on my own 😊.
As far as Valentine’s Day is concerned, I think your idea of making into a national kindness day is wonderful, although I agree we should be kind everyday, which I try to be anyway. Perhaps, you and I should go into business together to produce cards and gifts for National Kindness Day 😉. Have a great day, Brian.
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Yes, it definitely sounds like you’re better off! Good for you. Yes, we need more focus on being kind! So important.
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Great post, quotes and thoughts. For whatever reason the famous quote from the movie ‘Love Story’ with Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal … ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry’.
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Okay, I have to admit a failing of mine. I’ve never actually seen “Love Story.” I’ve seen snippets, but have never seen the entire movie. Am I missing something? Should I watch with my wife? As far as the quote goes, I find it wise to say I’m sorry. Of course, I’ve usually done something stupid to deserve my wife’s questioning look . . . but I get the point of the quote, love is open not looking to condemn. Thanks so much for commenting Denise.
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See it only if you want to watch something old and sad. By today’s cinematic standards I’m sure it wouldn’t hold up.
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We like old movies . . . but lots of choices out there. Thanks for the review.
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While I love the Corinthians quotation, I have to say Fulghum’s quotation probably better reflects the relationship between myself and Mrs. Chess. Our weirdness aligned right from the start, and together we take on all the weirdness life provides. We try to make every day Valentine’s Day with regard to showing how much we care for one another.
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I’m like you. I love Corinthians, but it’s hard not to like Fulghum’s quote. Hits very close to home!
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It’s so great to love and to be loved. I’m not huge on celebrating Valentine’s Day but I do love good chocolates.
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If we don’t feel love from someone, or if we don’t love or feel passion for something, we aren’t really an active participant in life.
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