Mysteries of life

I have a few questions.

When I was a kid, I stumbled one night across an eerie documentary on the Bermuda Triangle. I couldn’t sleep and decided get out of bed to get some milk.

In my zombie-like state, I turned on the television and came across the show which dived into how dozens of ships and planes have disappeared mysteriously in the triangle running from Miami to Bermuda to Puerto Rico. The narrator talked of ships going down without May Day calls, planes disappearing without a trace, and investigators with next to nothing to go on. Of course, the documentary with its frightening music and references to paranormal activity ensured that I was up for the rest of the night.

I was certain that I was doomed to die a tragic death in the Bermuda Triangle. I feared some mythical sea ghost would get a hold of the boat I was on and send me to the bottom of the ocean floor. It didn’t matter that I lived thousands of miles away and, up to that point, had never been on a plane or ship. In my mind, it was destined to happen.

Of course, I was fine. In the years since, I’ve learned natural explanations, everything from human error to violent weather more than likely played a role in each of the mysteries in what is one of the most heavily traveled shipping lanes in the world.

A logical reason

In this day of the Internet and Google with an answer to every request, we can track down most of the mysteries that haunt us. There are some mysteries though that still pose befuddle us. Oh, I’m not talking about finding a cure for cancer or serious diseases. I’m talking more about the mundane things that bother us all.

Here’s what I mean.

–When I run, my ankle routinely tightens up. It’s usually a few minutes into the run. One time it’s the right leg, the next time the left. The stiffness usually goes away, but it happens every time I run. I’ve never been able to figure out what it is. It goes away, it comes back. Arthritis, old age, I’m not really sure.

–When I have a busy morning, I seem to always be late. I get into my car and my gas tank is near zero and need to stop for gas right out of the gate. I hit every red light, school bus, garbage truck on my route. Instead of clear roads, I hit backed up traffic. Of course, when I have a relaxed meeting-free morning, the ride couldn’t be less dramatic and I get into work bright and early.

–Why did Wile E. Coyote never catch The Road Runner on the Looney Tunes. I’m still trying to understand that one. In each episode, the Coyote comes up with some creative plan to catch the Road Runner, but he’s never successful. The Coyote’s wildly complex plans always seem to backfire.

But here’s the thing that doesn’t make sense to my adult brain. Yes, roadrunners have been clocked at speeds up to 20 miles per hour and they’re smaller and can hide, but coyotes can actually sprint at faster speeds. Case closed.

–Why do grades go A, B, C, D, and F. There’s no E. What happened to it? A simple matter, but it’s one that I have scars.

When I was in the third grade, I got a bad grade on a math test. I remember the teacher scolding me for not studying. I had forgotten that we were going to be quizzed on the material. So for the next test, I studied hard and even worked closely with her to do well on the test. She knew I was scared about how I had done, so when she had corrected my test and was ready to write down the grade in her grade book during one of our reading periods, she called me up to her desk.

She started writing down an F. My heart, of course, sank. Where had I gone wrong? However, before picking up her pen, she turned the F into an A. I’ve always cursed that missing E. If E stood for the worst grade, my teacher couldn’t’ have pulled her prank on me!

–Insurance. The entire concept is a mystery to me. When you’re buying it, they tell you to buy just what you need. When you need it, they tell you that you didn’t buy enough, that whatever is broke or damaged isn’t covered.

–Time is a mystery. When your son has been up all and night and you have to work the next day, it can feel like it takes years getting him to sleep. You rock and rock. You sing the wheels on the bus for the umpteenth time. You’re mentally exhausted. You’re on your last nerve. Then you look up and your son is in the same room, but this time the walls have been painted and he’s packing up his bags to go to college. You wonder where the years went. What happened in the flicker of the night? Time, of course. Time has a way of playing games with our minds. Time is a mystery that we’ll never understand.

Oh I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for all of these mysteries. I’m sure someone out there can explain them. In the meantime, I’m going to do like I did when I saw that documentary on the Bermuda Triangle: I’m going to go cover myself in a heavy blanket and hide from the boogie man!