“You Gotta Try This!” (And Other Phrases That Make Me Cringe)

My friend pulled into the parking space next to me, waving enthusiastically. I waved back. When he stepped out of his car, he was a sweaty mess. He couldn’t wait to announce that he had just won his pickleball game.

Woohoo, go guy. You da man.

If it had ended there, all would have been well. But he had to start digging. He asked if I had taken up the sport yet. Before I could even finish my answer, he reached back into his car to show off his shiny new paddle and bag.

Oh, great, good for you.

You Gotta Try This!

If it’s not pickleball lately, it’s retirement. When I ran into another friend recently, I couldn’t help but laugh at her response when I asked how post-work life was treating her. She leaned in close like she was passing along corporate secrets.

“You need to retire . . . today.”

She acted as if she had found the cure for some crazy disease and was letting people know for the first time. “Oh, you have to try it! You’ll love retirement. You can throw that lousy alarm against the wall and never be on someone else’s time again.”

Ohhh, silly me? Why didn’t I think of that?

Well, first of all, because I have . . . obligations. And second, who wouldn’t retire early if given the chance? If I could have retired at age 30, 40, 50, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. Don’t get me wrong—I love my chosen line of work, but getting to do whatever I want with my time? When I want? Sign me up.

Unfortunately, I have a few more years of work in front of me. Don’t worry though. I know exactly what I’ll do when the time comes. It’s not even a question. I’ll stay busy—I’ll write, I’ll volunteer, and I’ll run my own schedule. I’m getting closer to 60 with each passing birthday, but I still have time, and I still have a few professional goals I want to conquer first.

Time will tell.

A Growing List!

In the meantime, pickleball and retirement seem to be the latest additions to an endless list of topics people love to sell you on:

• Side Hustles: The classic social media pitch. “Here’s how I became a millionaire by age 25.” Now complete with unsolicited advice from your friends.
• Miracle Weight-Loss Secrets: “Lose weight just like me!”
• Essential Oils: The cure for everything that ails you.
• Crypto: You don’t hear quite as much about this one anymore, but the believers are still out there waiting in the wings.
• Marathon and Hyrox Training: Run, run, and keep running.

What unsolicited lifestyle trend are you currently being sold on? Are the pickleball pros coming for you, or is someone trying to get you to invest in a side hustle? Drop your favorite (or least favorite) pitch in the comments below—I promise not to try and sell you a paddle.