A friend of mine called me out of the blue. We worked together years ago. We started families about the same time and have seen each other change and evolve over time. We both started out relatively skinny and athletic, transitioned to dad-bods as our kids grew, and now have lost a few pounds and are trying to find a comfortable in-between. He knew that I’ve had a tough couple of weeks with work and home and wanted to check in on how I was doing.
I was touched.

Image by Pexels.
We talked for forty minutes. We easily could have talked for another hour and forty. When we were done, my friend sent me the clip from the 1989 movie Lethal Weapon 2 where Murtaugh (Danny Glover) is trapped on his toilet rigged with a bomb. Mel Gibson’s character, Detective Martin Riggs, puts his own life on the line helping rescue Murtaugh right before the toilet erupts and destroys the bathroom.
Of course, my friend wrote that if I find myself sitting on a boobytrapped explosive, I should forget about calling him. “If something like that happens, please lose my number, Brian. I like you all, but I’m not crazy like Riggs,” he wrote.
Nice friend, right?
Lethal Weapon 2 – 1989
The Ride-or-Die Friend
The out-of-the-blue call got me thinking about the ways we support each other in society. We have the pranksters like my friend. There are also the ride-or-die friends like Doc Holliday in the movie Tombstone. Holliday is gravely ill and dying of tuberculosis, but he doesn’t hesitate to leave his bed to help his friend Wyatt Earp.
After facing down a violent gang, one of the Deputy Marshals asks Holliday why he isn’t in bed. Actor Val Kilmer, who portrayed Holliday in the movie, dryly says, “Wyatt Earp is my friend.” The deputy replies, “Hell, I got lots of friends,”to which Holliday snaps back, “…I don’t.”
Tombstone – 1993
The Fierce Protector
We look to protect those we love. We do that in many different ways. We work to secure their physical safety, health, and financial future. We watch out for them. We plan for emergencies. We buy life and long-term care insurance. We surprise them with their favorite coffee to help them get through their day.
But sometimes, protecting someone requires raw, fierce instinct, and we even act out of character to shield them from further pain.
In the British psychological thriller Apple Tree Yard, rape victim Yvonne is coldly told the “realities” of her chances of getting justice in court. Her image consultant questions her failure to report the assault immediately and points out the lack of visible bruising, suggesting she didn’t fight back.
Her husband, Gary, snaps, holding a knife to the man’s throat. “There’s a part of your brain,” he says, “the amygdala, telling you to do whatever you need to do to survive… drowning out your cerebral cortex, your logical brain… afraid for your life, we’re programmed to do whatever will ensure our survival, and sometimes, that’s nothing.”
Apple Tree Yard – 2017
The Truth-Teller
Sometimes, true support means having the humility to admit when we are wrong, stepping up to validate the person we love when they need it most.
In the movie The Help, Charlotte Phelan admits to her daughter, Skeeter, that she was wrong to stand in the way of her ambitions, offering her full emotional backing just as Skeeter is about to take a massive leap of faith.
“Skeeter, do you have plans tomorrow?” she asks. When Skeeter says no, Charlotte says they’re going shopping so that Skeeter has a dress for her new job in New York. “Courage sometimes skips a generation. Thank you for bringing it back to our family.”
The Help – 2011
The Silent Anchor
And sometimes, support doesn’t require a grand gesture, a fiery defense, or a speech. Sometimes a friend is just someone who sits with us… through the thick and the thin.
God bless friends like this.
Winnie the Pooh
Two Peas In A Pod
Whether they are sitting quietly beside us like Piglet on a difficult day, standing up for us like Doc Holliday, or texting us from a safe distance to ensure we aren’t currently sitting on a rigged toilet—that unexpected, out-of-the-blue support is exactly what keeps us moving forward.
Here’s to the friends in our lives. What friend are you most grateful for today?
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I read The Apple Tree Yard many years ago and stuck with me for a long long time!
Nice reflection on friendship and hopefully you’ll never be stuck on the toilet with a bomb underneath😂
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Yea, my friend loved telling me that I’m on my own if a bomb comes along! It’s a good thing I live a pretty normal life! Ha ha.
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❤️ this is touching , your personal example as well is the others all have the same message, friends are there as needed, and with whatever is needed from one to the other
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Good friends really are a treasure! Thanks Beth!!!!😎😎😎
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There is so much I love about this post, Brian! The way you called out the types of friends is so evocative all the good friends bring into our lives. I love the Pooh example – we need our silent anchors! Great post!
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Silent anchors. So grateful for those friendships. There’s so much to be said for just being! Of course, you got me thinking recently about new friends when you wrote about your kids and you stopping for a biker with a damaged bike. Those kind of acts are cool too!
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That scene from Lethal Weapon 2 is awesome. Riggs is a hell of a friend!
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The kind of friend you want in jam. Of course, he’s probably partially responsible for causing said catastrophe but hey he’s there for you!!!😎😎😎
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That’s true. He probably caused it, but hey, at least he was willing to put his life on the line for him. 😆
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I love this!! Great post!
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Friends!!!! Gotta love ‘em!
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If I had to put a label on myself, I’m definitely the Prankster Friend. I’d probably be the one rigging the toilet to explode in the first place.
Hmm. No wonder I don’t have a ton of friends…
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How’d I guess that Mark! Remind me to never let you in my bathroom! Ha ha! Great scene from Lethal Weapon 2 though!
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It’s good to know your friend has clear boundaries and limits, Brian! 🤣 Boobytrapped toilets would be it for me too.
Friendships that have such quality as the ones you described are such gifts and worth hanging on to, especially during the tougher times!
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Yes, yes, I think I’ve been more particular about friendships as I’ve gotten older. Grateful for the ones I have! Grateful too for WP friendships!!!!😎😎😎
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I’m glad to have found a community and friendship through WP too, Brian! Such as yourself. 😊🙏
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Thank you Friend!😎😎😎
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Completely agree. I just got off a 45 minute chat with a good friend who always picks me up when I’m down and supports me in all my crazy endeavours. Good friends are the best!!
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The absolute best. So important for everyone but especially creative sorts like us!
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I was flabbergasted by the friends who stepped forward by phone, email, text, letter, to offer help and support when I was dealing with cancer. I didn’t even know I had so many friends…and friends of such high quality. It made me consider what kind of friend I am. There’s lots of room for improvement on my end. But I do try to remember to reach out unexpectedly. That seems most rewarding on both sides.
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Oh that’s so encouraging. Good to know that there’s good people out there. Makes you want to be a good friend too!
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Exactly!
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LOVE this post! I have written about two friends of mine (we call the three of us sistas, although there is no blood relation) – they visit my daughter Jessica in her group home, whom they LOVE, without me asking, without telling me, without feeling pressure to visit – they visit because they want to – and to me that is priceless! 😊
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That’s really touching Vickie! The “without telling you part” shows what kind of people they are inside. That’s really cool! Friends through and through.
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Yes!!!!! so grateful for them ❤️
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This made me think about how often friendship is measured by the wrong things. We tend to think the closest friends are the ones we talk to constantly, see regularly, or have known the longest. Yet sometimes the person who matters enormously is the one who simply notices. They notice you have been quieter than usual. They remember you have had a rough couple of weeks. They call without needing anything, and somehow forty minutes disappear before either of you realizes it.
There is something rather wonderful about being remembered when you are not standing directly in front of someone. It says, in its own quiet way, You crossed my mind, and I cared enough to do something about it. That may not have the cinematic drama of Doc Holliday climbing out of a sickbed or Riggs risking his life beside an exploding toilet—which, for the record, seems an unnecessarily high bar for friendship—but ordinary life rarely gives us background music and dramatic lighting.
Most of the time, friendship is built from much smaller moments: the phone call, the ridiculous text that makes you laugh when you needed to, the person who remembers the thing everyone else forgot, or the friend who knows when to talk and when to simply stay put. Perhaps the real gift is not always having someone who can fix what is wrong. It is having someone who refuses to let us feel as though we are carrying it entirely unnoticed.
And I think those unexpected calls matter precisely because they are unexpected. Sometimes we do not realize how badly we needed someone to reach across the distance until the phone rings.
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Thank goodness for the many different types of friendships we have in our lives. Grateful to have them.
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Marvelous post, Brian. You got me thinking about the different categories of friends I have. There are the ones I can talk to about anything honestly, and I know they will not judge me. There are those who are great storytellers, the ones I love to share a laugh with. Another group (still important) are those who don’t dig particularly deep and we talk about shared interests like sports or music. My old colleague group meets once a month for lunch. They are way more than people I worked with. Somehow I’ve fallen into the role of connector, the one who keeps longtime friendships going and getting old friend groups together periodically. Every one on these friendship groups are special in their own way.
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The role of connector. Oh that’s such a great point Pete. I find that I often play that role too. It’s such an important one. I have a couple friendships where I know the relationship would suffer if I didn’t serve as the glue and make sure we get together.
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I’m the silent anchor. Great post, Brian. There are many different friendships.
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The silent anchor — the glue that keeps everyone together!!!😎😎😎
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Yup!
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Thoughtful post! I can’t choose just one. I am grateful for many friends. Both and new. ⭐️🤓
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Reminds me of the old kids song … “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.” 😎😎😎😎
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Great post! I love celebrating every chapter of life with all my different friends, from the ones who stayed forever to the new faces I have recently met along the way. Life is so good!
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Life is good. A good way of looking at things!!!! 😎😎😎
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This was a very fun and creative way to celebrate friends. I’m so glad you got a call from your long-time friend–and it wasn’t just to sell you something! 😛 🙂 I love me my Piglets and to be the Piglet.
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Piglet knows how to be a friend. We all need a piglet in our life! Yes, my friend was funny. He texted me twice later on to remind me to lose his number if it comes to toilet bombs! Nice friend. 💣💣😎😎😎😎
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Hahaha. I like this guy.
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Lovely. Cheers to good friends! ❤️
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Good friends make such a huge difference. The difference between I can get through this and “oh crap, I’m done.” Ha, ha.
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