My mom lied

My mom lied to me. I’m talking a “liar, liar, pants on fire” lie. A big one. Right up there with The Grinch’s lie to Cindy Lou Who that he was Santa Claus and he was taking her family’s Christmas tree to his workshop to fix a broken light from the 1957 book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

A bold-face lie, I tell you!

I remember it like it happened yesterday. My kind, loving, “come here and give me a big hug” mom told a whopper of a lie. Before she left to go home, she put $50 dollars in my hand and told me to take it. She said her friend had paid her for driving her to the doctor and she wanted me to have the extra cash.

I couldn’t help but wonder. “Fifty dollars. That’s a mighty far trip. What did the two of you do? Rob a bank? Maybe a Sheetz convenience store?” I told her that I was an adult and had a job and didn’t need her money. I wasn’t 14 anymore. My mom, however, wouldn’t take no for an answer. She told me to use the money on groceries. She reminded me that I would soon be a father and would need to have plenty of diapers on hand for her grandbaby.

I still protested. She was right, but I didn’t like that she was stretching the truth. I knew that she needed to be careful with her money. If I had checked her purse, I doubted I would have found two pennies to rub together. She could have used the money on her own bills. But she wasn’t having it. “Brian, you’re making me mad now,” she growled. “I told you to take it.”

My mother lied, but I found out recently that she’s not the only one to tell a fib a time or two. A research organization reported last year that 50 to 75 percent of parents admit to lying to their children. These lies range from tall tales about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy to protecting a child’s feelings.

When I saw that figure, it hit me how often my mom bent the truth over the years. Here’s four times that jump out at me.

1. When she read whatever story I had made up and written in elementary school and said it was the best thing that she had ever read. She talked for weeks about how extraordinary the story was. Oh, I’m sure my story was drivel at best, but her encouragement was still welcomed.
2. When my mom threatened to throw out certain toys if I misbehaved. She would threaten to throw away my Legos or Matchbox Cars if I didn’t pick them up. I never remember her following through though. Oh, I lost toys at various points. I remember losing my Louis Marx & Co. Johnny West Cowboy and his Appaloosa horse for several months, but that was me misplacing them, not my mom throwing anything away. I’m sure I deserved the book thrown at me a time or two. I’m sure I was a little demon. She always found something though to cheer me on and encourage me.

3. When she took me out to eat after school or later in college and she said that she was too full to eat anymore desert, letting me eat the rest of the Chocolate Lava Cake that we were supposed to share. Bring on the fudge.
4. When she said she loved the three of us — my two big brothers and me — equally and didn’t have a favorite. Like most annoying kids, when we were young teens, we would frequently ask: “Who’s your favorite Mom? Me, right?” Don’t kid yourself. I know that my mom loved me the best. I’m sure of it. She just couldn’t tell my brothers or their soft, sensitive feelings would’ve been crushed. Since they were the oldest, they thought for sure they were the favorites. Between you and me, though, it was me! Most definitely, me! Ha, ha.

Oh, I’m pretty sure that instead of a liar — putting up with three sons — that makes my mom a saint.

Happy Mother’s Day!