A shoulder to cry on

Chris Evert scored a point and then Martina Navratilova came back with two more. Tennis was foreign to me. Few people I knew played except for the two older couples I saw at our local park when my mom dropped me off for baseball practice. I was flipping the channels on our old family TV one day in the late 1970s and I stumbled across the two of them. It was fascinating TV. There was so much strength, tenacity and resilience, and something else too. I couldn’t describe it at the time, but it was grace.

The two played against each other in 80 matches, 60 of those were finals between 1973-1988. Evert dominated early on, but Navratilova later turned the tide and in the end was more victorious, winning head-to-head 43 to 37. They had contrasting styles with Evert having the better baseline shot, while Navratilova had the stronger serve and volley shot.

Over the years, through their many matches against each other, they formed something that fans never got to see. They developed a deep, enduring bond, supporting each other through personal struggles and cancer diagnoses. “After the final, we’d walk into the locker room and either I’d be crying and her arm would be around me or she’d be crying and my arm would be around her, and we never lost that respect and caring,” Evert told Oprah Winfrey in an interview in 2008.

I’ve been thinking about unlikely friendships recently and Evert and Navratilova came first to mind. There are others too. Friendships often form between individuals who would not be expected to connect based on experience or stereotypes, showcasing how bonds can form despite apparent differences. 

Here’s a few from history, literature, and Hollywood that move me and give me hope:

–Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill. Politics and friendship are a foreign concept nowadays, but there was a time when it wasn’t. Republican President Ronald Reagan and Democratic Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill maintained a famous “frenemy” relationship, defined by fierce public ideological battles over taxes and social spending by day, but genuine personal friendship, Irish storytelling, and compromise.

Despite opposing views, they respected each other deeply, collaborating on key issues like Social Security and tax reform. Now the skeptic in me says it was fake, that it was all for the cameras. Historians and people close-up have continually said over the years that the friendship was real.

–Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. A brilliant but eccentric detective and his more grounded companion form a famous partnership and friendship. “It’s elementary, my dear Watson.”

–Captain James Kirk, Spock, and Dr. Leonard McCoy on Star Trek. The relationship between Kirk, Spock, and McCoy is the cornerstone of Star Trek. Kirk brings passion, while Spock provides rational analysis and McCoy offers a compassionate, ethical, and often combative perspective. They share a deep, loyal bond through constant friction and challenge.

Even in death, Spock thinks of his friends. He sacrifices himself to repair the Enterprise’s warp core to save the crew from the Genesis Device explosion. Separated by glass, he shares an emotional final moment with Kirk, stating, “I have been, and always shall be, your friend.”

–John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. The second and third presidents shared one of the most famous friendships in American history. The men were first brought together in the 1770s by the the Continental Congress. While different in appearance and temperament — Adams was a thick, neurotic northerner and Jefferson a slim, genteel southerner — they soon became allies in the fight for American independence. Jefferson and Adams often corresponded through letters. They experienced a falling out over their opposing views. After both sides threw slanderous insults at each other during the 1800 presidential campaign, the two didn’t speak for years. Adams finally broke the silence in 1812 after a friend convinced him to write. Jefferson responded, and they eventually rekindled their decades-old friendship. They exchanged dozens of letters touching on philosophy, religion and politics. In a famous twist of fate, both men died hours apart on July 4, 1826 — the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

–Matt Damon & Ben Affleck. Hollywood anyone? Damon and Affleck were friends when they wrote and created the Oscar winning movie Goodwill Hunting. There are others. Robert Duvall formed a life-long friendship with fellow actors Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman when they all three shared a New York apartment. Who would’ve predicted that the three roommates would go on to become acting legends?

–Wilbur and Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web. When Wilbur the pig is little, the other animals reveal to him that he is to end up as the Christmas ham. Barn spider Charlotte takes pity on him. She tells him that she’s going to save him, but he has to calm down. Charlotte teaches Wilbur how to compose himself and to be logical in the face of stress. Charlotte is rough on Wilbur at times until he learns to have strength and believe in himself, but it always comes from a position of love and care for the pig.

–Mowgli and Baloo from The Jungle Book. Mowgli is an orphaned “man-cub” raised by wolves in the Indian jungle. Baloo is a wise, sleepy sloth bear who teaches the wolf cubs and Mowgli the “Law of the Jungle,” acting as his protector and mentor. The two are inseparable.

Here’s to great friendships, no matter how or where they develop. When you think of deep, unlikely friendships, who do you think of?