Bears? Zombies? Prepared for anything

The sun is starting to set. There are dark shadows everywhere making it hard to see. I’m out for a quick run. My senses are on high alert. I see the guy walking towards me. I size him up. He’s wearing a hoodie. But his jeans are baggie and falling down. He keeps needing to pull them up. He’s bigger than me. He’s probably 6’2” and 50 to 70 pounds heavier than me.

Despite his size advantage, I do the “guy thing.” I measure him up and am pretty sure I could take him.

He gets closer and I see now that he has bulge sticking out of his coat pocket. Could it be a weapon? Yes, yes, I say to myself. I need to be smart. I may need to grab a stick from the ground. I look on both sides of the trail to see what I can grab. I see a few heavy rocks that might work in a pinch.

I brace myself for anything.

Of course, he gives me a nod and says with a smile, “howdy partner.” The tension has been broken. I break out into a quiet chuckle. He should be out on the pasture rounding up cattle, not walking on a park trail. I return with a simple “hello.”

With the crisis averted, I sigh and run the last half mile or so.

Friend or foe

When I get back home, I search online for “the bear or man in the woods” viral video that originated last year on TikTok. People in the video were asked a question. Would they rather be lost in the woods with a random man or a bear? Many men were up in arms that so many women chose the bear. The women feared the unpredictable and possible predatory intentions of an unknown man. This was contrasted with the clear, straightforward threat posed by a wild animal.

One of the most liked comments summed the choice up this way: “You know what to expect from a bear.” Some of the reasons why people chose the bear:

• Predictability: A bear’s threat is more predictable; it will likely either attack or leave a person alone. A man’s intentions are unknown. He could be friendly or he could attack.  
• Sexual Assault Concerns: Many women expressed concerns about being sexually assaulted or harmed by the man. 
• Believability: Some women noted others would believe them if a bear attacked them. They might face disbelief about being attacked by a man.

Turning the issue on its head

I have to admit a tiny bit of annoyance that women would chose the bear. I’m a nice guy, right? I try to be respectful of others. Someone would rather come across a big old angry bear instead of seeing me? I know that my resting face can be off putting, but am I really that scary?

I think of the countless men like myself who get branded because of the horrible actions of a few. I think of the times I’ve been out walking or running and see someone coming in the opposite direction. I try to smile. I try to make the other person feel at ease, while also keeping up my guard.

I hate smiling for no reason, but I’ve done it anyway to make the other person feel at ease. Was that all for naught?

My trick backfires on me

I thought too of the little tricks that I play on myself. To help me get through a difficult run, I’ll often imagine that I’m being chasing or chasing something. It could be by an angry horde of zombies. A mountain lion or a bear? Or simply hunting a deer through the woods. It’s crazy. But the trick usually works.

I may not look like Daniel Day-Lewis jumping over downed trees and running through the forest like in The Last of the Mohicans. But if it gets me to my finish line, I’ll use whatever motivation I can to survive a challenging run.

Here’s the problem though. When I’m thinking about chasing a deer through the woods or running from imaginary zombies, the look in my eyes must be the face of a crazy person. What must someone who comes across me think? “Yes, yes, we have a crazy man running on the trail. We have a marathon running Jack the Ripper!”

Daniel Day-Lewis – The Last of the Mohicans

Bear or a Woman?

It’s get better.

In the end, I consider how I might respond to the same TikTok question? A bear or a woman? Some woman might not like my answer. In fact, I think of the numerous times over the years when I’ve been out for a run or walk and have come inches away from getting bitten by a dog. In almost all of those incidents, the woman out walking her dog had let it off its leash or forgot to keep a tight rein on it.

I love dogs. I think they’re man’s best friend, but when I’m running, I have one focus in mind, surviving my run. Do you really need to let your dog off its leash in a public place? I’m sure Daisy, Bella or Max is an amazing doggie . . . for you. However, there’s no guarantee that he or she won’t take a nice big bite out of me.

Hmm, maybe coming upon a bear instead wouldn’t be so bad after all! “Nice bear! Nice bear!”

So where’s that leave us? I’m not sure.

How one runner survived when he came upon a cougar in a Utah canyon. Yikes.