Trying my best

I put down my pen and take a deep breath. I tried my hardest.

I take a moment and look around. I can’t help but wonder if my best was good enough. Did I meet expectations? I think about the people who will be judging me. How will they grade me? I try to read their thoughts. What were they telling me? Was that a smile? A frown? Or perhaps, a sign of dismissal or disregard, passing me over for someone else.

My thoughts swirl until I realize that my worries are misplaced. Those other people are superfluous. Risk is risk, so be it. In the grand scheme of things, I can’t get caught up in their opinions of me.

Pulled out all the stops

I put myself out there. I tried. I did what I set out to do. Whether it was a success or not, I can’t worry. I control what I control and that’s it. I tell myself to forge ahead to the next challenge, the next chapter. I have to believe that I am great, I am more than enough. If others like it, great. If others hate it, well then, great. The answer remains the same.

I can’t worry about the grading and evaluation. I can’t waste another minute on it.

Work. Life. Home. Creative projects. No matter what I’m working on, I need to be like a herd of mustangs roaming free in the wild. The next step ahead is all that matters.

Reducing life to what matters

The young and old both have a habit of making life more complicated than it really needs to be. We turn small molehills into Mount Everest. The five minute drive to school becomes the grueling 24 Hours of Le Mans or the Indianapolis 500. The work presentation turns into negotiating peace in the Middle East.

In the end, life more often than not comes down to the same darn thing. You may call it one thing. I may call it something else. The name doesn’t matter. It’s always the same. Trying. Striving. Attempting. Taking the next step.

What say you? How do you keep your eye on the prize?

. . . .

“For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.” –T.S. Eliot from his poem from “East Coker”

“Everything will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not yet the end.” –A line from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), spoken by the character Sonny Kapoor, played by Dev Patel.

“You never fail until you stop trying.” –Albert Einstein

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” –Michael Jordan

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39 thoughts on “Trying my best”

    1. Why sometimes are we are our own worst enemy? Why are we more critical than the so-called critics? At least I am. I’m better now than I was when I was younger, but still way too hard with work and my written work. Thanks Chris. I appreciate you commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. My philosophy? If you don’t try, you can never fail. Ergo, I’ve just completely given up on everything.

    J/K. One foot in front of the other, slow and steady wins the race, and all the other cliches apply for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Years ago, I saw something that stuck with me, and I think it helps me focus forward. We often make bridges in our mind we’ll never have to cross. Our brains can take the simplest thing we’re considering doing (or have just done) and create all sorts of negative outcomes and outlooks. Most always, nothing we ruminate about ever comes remotely close to happening…or reality.

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  4. I am a HUGE overthinker. Some days I live in the land of What Ifs. Giving up to me is not an option. I can pull over to the side of the road…refuel…and merge back onto Life’s Highway. I am so grateful to have found this community so that I can share in life’s offerings, solutions, and perspectives!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. and I have learned over the years to not worry about what others think of me, as most of the time, they are truly not worrying nor thinking about what I’ve done, they’ve moved on and not given it a second thought. it’s really just been me, imagining they might –

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I love that line from the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It got me through my divorce. You’re right – staying in my lane and keeping focused on the next step is a challenge but one worth doing. Perfect reminder for a Monday morning. Thanks, Brian!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What great words of wisdom, Brian. I once sent in the first three chapters of a mid grade novel for a paid for critique. It came back with the comment that he couldn’t stand my main character and NOBODY would want to read my novel. I stopped working on for a while after that. But you are correct. That’s one person’s opinion and he didn’t seem like someone I’d want to know in person. It didn’t matter what he thought. I did have better feedback from other editors and had excerpts published in the LA Times.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. One of the most useful lessons life can offer is that we are more occupied with what others think about us than they are. They are usually preoccupied with themselves.

    The sooner we learn it, the more at ease we are with ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. “Risk is risk, so be it. In the grand scheme of things, I can’t get caught up in their opinions of me.”
    May I have that embroidered on a pillow, please? I like it. I really like it. 😜💝😜

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Love this phrase so very much, “I need to be like a herd of mustangs roaming free in the wild. The next step ahead is all that matters.” 💞 There are moments I get pulled off track, make mountains out of molehills, and feel crushed under one person’s opinion that shouldn’t matter… Fortunately we have people like you to remind us to focus on what matters and just keep doing our best. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  12. such a rich post – with teh reminder to stay trying!
    I also sense a lot of contentment in your approach – like with this:
    “I am more than enough. If others like it, great. If others hate it, well then, great. The answer remains the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh the endless worrying of other people’s opinions, especially as a young kid, is hard. Hopefully most of you grow out of this as we get older. The self talk is the hardest one to get over because your inner voice can often be the hardest!

    Like

    1. Oh, I’ve grown so much in putting other’s thoughts out of my mind. I still have issues with bosses and people who have some control over me. I still have issues there . . . but yes, I give the proverbial middle finger to others. I have to control what I control. And youre right, my own evaluation, my own inner voice, is way harder than anything anyone else can say to me. My own toughest critic.

      Like

  14. I keep my eye on the prize by knowing that the end will justify the means. Like parenting…some thing we’re hard to enact or enforce, but the payoff is my daughter is a good person, who wants to help, she has a career and works hard and is ethical. The work I put in was helpful

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  15. Pingback: Photos of the Week: October 4th – Surprised By Joy

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