Who said money grows on trees!

I’ve watched as the New York Stock Exchange has experienced high volatility in recent months. One day it’s up, the next it’s a giant meteor crashing to the Earth. The S&P 500, the index tracking the performance of the 500 largest companies in the U.S., has experienced mixed numbers this year. While it was up 4.6% in the first quarter, it has also seen a 14% decrease since President Trump’s inauguration in late January.

I worried for my 401(k) but the writing has been on the wall. Oh, I’m not talking about Trump’s executive orders or how the U.S. Tariffs have stifled the flow of goods from other countries. No, I knew the market was in for a tough year. I’ve known for quite some time. Here’s how I was in on the secret.

My wife and I purchased a large money tree, Pachira aquatica, two years ago. It’s a tropical tree native to Central and South America where it grows in swamps. Money Trees are considered a symbol of good luck and prosperity in many cultures. They have practical benefits like air purification and can enhance indoor space. They’re known to help reduce stress and anxiety too.

The tree looked great for a year. It was about two or three feet tall and we kept it in our dining room where it would get a reasonable amount of light during the day. We gave it water and everything looked great. I was really pleased with my purchase. And then this winter, I noticed several leaves on the ground. I looked back two weeks later and I saw even more leaves on the ground.

Uh-oh.

We tried to fix it. We moved the plant. We watered it regularly. Like the market, though, the tree kept going down hill and never really looked back. Oh we weren’t ready to give up. We called a Hail Mary. We checked out a plant app to see how we might bring the plant back to life. It offered some simple instructions. We followed the instructions to T.

Unfortunately, our late inning heroics fell to the ground like a wounded bird. We killed our Money Tree Plant. This week we decided that enough was enough. We put the plant and it’s one lone wrinkly leaf out of its misery. We moved it to the garage to be put in the trash.

Adios money tree! Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

After this debacle, I’m not taking any more chances. I’m giving up on gardening. But it hasn’t stopped the nightmares. The other day I woke up in a cold sweat. In my dream, I was in our living room. All our house plants were hopping towards me in their planters or pots. They pointed their leaves at me and shouted: “Killer, killer, killer.”

Yes, quite a scary image, but I’ve learned my lesson. No more Money Tree Plants. No more Spider Plants. No more vegetable gardens. No Peace Lilies. I’m done.

Besides giving up gardening, I gave up the idea of taking any big financial gambles. When the Money Tree started going down hill, I knew the stock market was next. So, you won’t find me taking any risks on the next Apple or Amazon for a very long time. No big risks on any up-and-coming stocks or ETFs either.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Here’s to taking it slow and easy. And yes, whoever said money grows up on trees was full of manure. Just ask my Money Tree!

All images by Pexels.