Where am I with my novel?

I shut my laptop. It’s been a few weeks now, so I can admit that I had a smug little smile spread across my face. I had signed up to write a novel in 30 days as part of the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) challenge and, through the first week or so of the challenge in November, I was looking unbeatable. I was cranking out 1,500 words a day.

I was like a big yellow snow plow that comes along in the middle of the night and clears away the snow in the middle of a blinding blizzard. As fast as the snow was coming down, I was pushing it out of the way. Heavy snow? Cold winds? Snow in your face? No way, nothing was going to stop me.

Participants in the program must average about 1600 words a day to reach the goal of 50,000 words toward a novel. I was on pace to hit my target. The ideas were coming. My words seemed to be writing themselves. It was pure joy.

And then the wheels fell off the wagon. Or in my case, my snow plow.

Climbing a steep hill

Oh, the wheels didn’t really come off. I’m exaggerating. It wasn’t the end of the world. We just went away for the weekend to Cape May, New Jersey. Instead of spending a few hours each day on my novel, I spent two days talking with friends, watching college football, and enjoying a brisk fall day at the beach.

I stayed positive. I put my hands out in front of me in a calming zen-like motion and told myself that I was just collecting more info for my novel. Problem solved. I’d have one of the characters live at the beach. And as far as the lost work time went, I figured I’d catch up in no time. When I sat down to write, I would add a few hundred words onto each day’s writing. Voila, I’d be caught back up in no time.

And that’s what I did. When we got back home, I jumped right back on the wagon. I cranked out 1,600 words and then 1,800 and more and more. The smug little smile returned to my face. What’s the old Bible verse, “Pride goeth before the fall.” (Proverbs 16:18-19)

Yea, yea, that smug little face came back again. Unfortunately, it didn’t stick around for long. The next weekend, we went away again and my writing took a nosedive again. No, say it isn’t so Brian.

Getting back up on the saddle

This is a long way of saying I’m still working on the novel. I’m touched that so many people have asked me how I’m doing. I’m touched that any one cares at all. In some respects, I’m probably better suited for a blog than a novel. I can always jump around with the blog, one day writing about this, another day writing about that. It’s harder to do that with a novel.

But I’m determined to finish. And I will this time, thanks in part to two lessons I learned from this experience. The first lesson is that while I want my writing to work like a straight line, life rarely works that way. I set a goal and I want my step by step plan to make it to the top of the climb. Reality though tends to get in the way. Like most of us who blog, I have obligations and responsibilities like work and family that sometimes get in the way — and that’s okay.

Progress for me often takes one step ahead, two steps back. Heck, it might even take five steps back before it moves ahead again. It might stall or slow or throw in a sidestep here or there. Writing is an intimate personal process that reveals our stories bit by bit until we get to the end. It also reveals who and what we are made.

Oh, I could wax poetic about how writing puts a mirror up to our faces and shows us who we really are until I’m blue in the face. But yes, I will push through to the end. I take solace in American long-distance runner and writer Kara Goucher’s thoughts on progress. She says, “Progress is rarely a straight line. There are always bumps in the road, but you can make the choice to keep looking ahead.”

The light at the end of the tunnel

The second lesson I learned is one that I learned decades ago, but came up again and again throughout this process. It’s important to me. I was reminded that I may joke about my writing. I may poke fun of it here and there. I may even write about how tough it can be. In the end, though, I love to write.

It’s who I am. If I was ever locked up in a mythical cold, stone prison tower and could never see the outside world again, could never share a graph or two of my writing with my wife or a trusted friend and ask, “hey, what do you think of this? How’s this read?” I would still write. I would keep on writing about both the highs and lows that life gives us. I would write to keep my sanity.

When I’m deep into writing a blog or a project, I love where my brain goes. I love how it comes up with different scenarios and even lines to use. I love the places that it takes me. I love the person I am when I’m writing.

I forgot that. It’s amazing to have it back. I’m grateful for the reminder.

But yes, I will be finishing the novel . . . soon. And that’s fine.

….

“My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.” —Ernest Hemingway

“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”—Anne Frank

“I get a lot of letters from people. They say, ‘I want to be a writer. What should I do?’ I tell them to stop writing to me and get on with it.” —Ruth Rendell

“Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic.” —J. K. Rowling

“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see, and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” —Joan Didion