What if we treated teachers & writers like rock stars

When the hotel elevator opened up to the lobby, I saw right away that things were amiss. Chairs and sofas were disheveled. A coffee table was turned over, missing a leg. There was rubbish and confetti strewn everywhere on the ground.

I walked to the hotel manager and put out my hands in a questioning manner. “Oh, I’m so sorry, you must have missed our little emergency,” he said.

A star is born

He went on to inform me that two famous New York Times Best Selling authors were staying in the hotel. He made a big deal of saying that he couldn’t give away the author’s names. It was like he was protecting some kind of confidential patient medical record. In the next breath, though, he blurted out that it was Colleen Hoover and Matt Haig. Hoover wrote the popular books It Ends With Us and It Starts With Us. Haig is a prominent English author and journalist. He has been in the news the past several years for his book, The Midnight Library.

A herd of groupies and fans found out the authors were staying at the hotel and swarmed the entrances. Hoover and Haig were apparently at a publishing event and when they returned, they were cornered. There were so many fans that their car couldn’t get close enough to the hotel. They had to ditch their escort a block away and make a run for it. Security tried to keep the well-wishers back, but there were too many of them. Hoover lost a shoe in the rush. Haig had scratches on his face and arms because groupies pulled at his shirt.

“It was calm one minute and then it was like we had Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce in the lobby. The Yankees came through here a few years ago, after they won the World Series. I thought it was crazy then. This took it to a whole new level,” the hotel manager said.

A life of fame and fortune

Oh, yes, what would happen if we treated writers, authors, teachers, and professors the same way we treat pop stars and athletes. We adore musicians. We want selfies with them, we want their autographs.

Unless you’re J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, most authors live a life of anonymity. I’ll throw teachers in there too. Kindergarten teachers get the occasional ooh and aah out in the public. That’s just because of the students they teach. Let’s admit it. Kindergartners barely know how to act in public. Throw their teacher in the mix. Of course, they get a little excited.

The life of a star

Yes, most writers and teachers live a quiet life, but what if we treated them the way they deserved. Yes, what if we gave them “The Beatles” treatment? Oh what a crazy world it would be:

• Writers would have to wear sun glasses and disguises to go to the grocery store. “Ya know that hot, new book you gave me that’s getting made into a movie and starring Ryan Gosling? Can you believe it, I just rubbed shoulders with the author in the vegetable aisle? We grabbed the same bag of Brussels sprouts. I’m never washing my hand again.”
• Teachers would become free agents. “Did you hear the news? The school district next to ours is offering Mrs. Sanders a huge new contract that includes a three-year signing bonus. There goes the Chemistry Department. Little Jimmy loved her. What’s Jamie going to do when it’s her turn to take Chemistry? We gotta get Ms. Sanders back! Let’s triple our offer.”
• Ticket resellers would sell seats to book signings at outrageous prices. “Honey, here’s an early Christmas gift: Tickets to listen to George R.R. Martin read from his Game of Thrones series. It cost an arm and a leg, but you’re worth it.”
• Teachers would never have to pick up the bill again. “Oh Mr. Daniels, your Target and Amazon purchases are on us. Most of these things are for your classroom anyway. It’s our treat. Can we buy you a beer too?”
• Books would be more valuable than gold. Books would outsell Minecraft, Madden 25, League of Legends, Call of Duty and every other popular video game.
• Fans would have fantasy leagues with authors and teachers. “How about this blockbuster trade? You give me Dr. Gildea, the English professor up for a national award, and that new author of yours that came out with her new book and I’ll give you Kansas City Chiefs Quarterback Patrick Mahomes and 49ers Running Back Christian McCaffrey. I’ll throw in Philadelphia Eagles Running Back Saquon Barkley and and whoever else you want on my team. Four for two. What do you think?”

Oh, wouldn’t it be amazing!