Life’s not fair

When I was in high school, I came home after a disappointing track meet and complained to my mom that I was mad at God. I asked why he gave me short stumpy legs and no speed or endurance. I knew I wasn’t cut out for baseball, basketball or football — I was too short and slight to succeed at them at the high school level — but I wondered aloud why I wasn’t more talented and had greater running success.

I had trained hard prior to the start of the season, I had diligently put in the miles. I felt I should have been further along in my progress than I was. My peers always seemed to have more talent and success seemed to come easier for them. They seemed to race past me on the detailed pecking order that I kept in my head and the real life list my coach kept, placing each runner at our meets.

If I’m honest I was never really that good as a cross country or track and field runner in high school. I had a few successes here and there, but I was usually in the middle or back of the pack. I was especially mad when I saw how other guys on my team or other teams would goof around on training runs and take their times for granted. The talent seemed to come naturally to them where I had to claw my way, tooth and nail, just to maintain par.

My mother knew to let me vent and get it out. She didn’t say too much until I went overboard and started to focus too heavily on what I didn’t have and forgot my many blessings. As a teen, I never really understood why some peers were gifted with talent and why others like me weren’t, but over the years I came to learn some valuable lessons from the experience. It taught me a lot about life, including:

—Life is not fair.

—It’s best to embrace life’s obstacles. Setbacks will happen, but what matters most is how you react. The first step is the hardest, but anything is possible once you take the first step.

—Vulnerability doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong. Take chances.

—Hard work pays off. Structure, discipline, and routine get a bad rap, but they can also be a good thing.

—Give others grace and kindness and remember that everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about or has been hidden. I found out years later that one of the guys who seemed to put in little effort, but could run like the wind, faced family problems at home, another regularly experimented with drugs.

—If you wish to get better, focus on yourself, not others. Your competition isn’t other people: it’s you. Run at your own pace. Your journey is unique to you, run your own race. I may be on Step 1, someone else may be on Step 22.

—Well done is better than well said. And finally, be the change.