Tripping on the career ladder

Early in my career, I would pack up my laptop, grab my coat, get up from my desk, and quietly leave work with my head down. I’d nod to a few people, but I wouldn’t say much. It didn’t matter that I had gotten to work at the crack of dawn, hours before anyone else, or worked on the weekend, I was still leaving early and that was frowned upon.

It was a no-no.

Oh, company leaders talked a good game. They talked at company events about family and work-life balance, but the movers and shakers, the ones who were rewarded with the plum roles, more often than not were the ones who put in the time — results be damned — and had “their priorities straight,” company code for putting work first.

I knew I was taking a hit by leaving early, that I would have a black mark against my name when it came time for end of the year performance reviews and promotions, but I still forced myself out the door. Oh, I always made sure my work was complete and the results top-notch. They couldn’t dock me there. I made sure too that things were double and triple checked and back-ups were in place, but it didn’t matter, I was still leaving before the clock struck 5.

My first two managers were supportive and got it, but my third and fourth ones dinged me for no other reason than I wasn’t at my desk when they wanted me — I wasn’t the last person out the door each night.

Cursing my decision

Yes, yes, when I left each day, I would curse my decision to leave. Oh, some of my melancholy was my own doing, putting pressure on myself and letting myself get caught up in my own workaholic tendencies. My workplace at the time, though, contributed heartedly. The drive home was always challenging. I would be on edge until I made the turn to my daughter’s school. I would pull up and she would wave goodbye to her friends and come running to the car.

She would get in and laugh and tell me about her day and my worries would magically fly out the window. It was like they were never there. We would compare days and talk about whatever crazy thing her brothers had done the previous day. I would start off making small talk, but I preferred hearing about her day. It was always much more interesting than my own. Oh sure, she would sometimes play the role of disgruntled, fuming teenager, but I think she discovered that she actually liked having someone to confide and chat. All I had to do was . . . listen.

A decision that continues to pay

Oh, the focus on work has shifted in the past ten years. In a strange way the pandemic has been a blessing for many workplaces, helping put a greater focus on performance and results rather than simple time at work. The number of workers working from home or outside the office has skyrocketed. It’s not the case for every workplace and has not been a cure-all, but it certainly has been a help.

But there’s still many places that continue to focus on time and time alone.

I think often about the decisions I made early in my career. I’m reminded often on how I hated that long walk from the office to my car and how it made me feel. I took my share of hits and how I ultimately moved on, but then I think back on the relationships in my life and I’m reminded that it was so worth it.

The time I got to spend with my family was priceless.