Where’s my AARP card?

Rock giants, The Rolling Stones, can’t always get what they want, but they try real hard and sometimes, well, they just might find, they get what they need. The group announced last week a North American 16-city tour that will be sponsored by AARP and will kick off on April 28. The tour will feature the Stones’ new album Hackney Diamonds and AARP members can start buying pre-sale tickets today. The tour marks the first US tour for the group since 2021 and the first without drummer Charlie Watts.

I couldn’t help but laugh when fellow blogger LA who writes on Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 pointed out that AARP — formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons, the special interest group that advocates for issues affecting those over the age of fifty — was sponsoring the tour.

The Rolling Stones and AARP is a strange partnership, but makes perfect sense. The Rolling Stones have been around for decades, but they may need plenty of ibuprofen to keep them dancing around on stage. Think about it: Mick Jagger is 80; Keith Richards, Mick’s songwriting partner and guitarist, turns 80 on December 18; and Ronnie Wood, is 76.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m in awe of them and would love to see them. I’m sure tickets will cost an arm and a leg and then some. They got me thinking about some other concert and touring partnerships that I think should happen:

—Taylor Swift and Beyonce & Amazon. This should be called the Money, Money, Money Tour. Amazon ranked as the most advertised brand in the United States in 2022, with a measured media ad spend of 6.1 billion U.S. dollars. It only makes sense that Amazon should be sponsoring both Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour and Beyonce’s Renaissance World Tour.

—Bruce Springsteen & Harley Davidson. Bruce Springsteen’s Born To Run” captures the spirit of restless youth yearning to hit the road and live life to its fullest. It’s his most requested song. After shutting down his 2023 tour to give himself time to recover from an ulcer, Springsteen has announced new 2024 concert dates. If AARP can sponsor The Stones, Bruce should most certainly ride onto the stage with a Harley. Let’s go Harley Davidson, you’re running out of time. Bruce will be hitting the road again starting in mid March in Phoenix and then running through September, ending at Camden Yards in Baltimore. Vroom, vroom, “Come on with me, tramps like us. Baby, we were born to run.”

—Madona and Shania Twain & Netflix’s The Crown Series. The perfect sponsor would be, well, His Royal Highness King Charles III. Wouldn’t it be amazing? King Charles could introduce the Pop Culture Queens before each show. The Royal Family sponsoring Royalty, but since King Charles tends to not go for that kind of thing, then I’m suggesting the next best thing, Netflix and their record-breaking series on Queen Elizabeth II from the 1940s to modern times, “The Crown.”

—50 Cent & Geico. Celebrating the 20-year milestone of his iconic album, Get Rich or Die Tryin, rapper 50 Cent is finishing up a 64-date tour in December. His tours have been money in the bank. With that in mind, I could easily see Geico, run by Berkshire Hathaway and CEO Warren Buffet, being a sponsor of 50 Cent’s next tour. Berkshire Hathaway, a diversified multinational holding company, has seen a 19.8% compounded annual gain from 1965 to 2022, compared to 9.9% for the S&P 500 Index. Yes, 50 Cent and Berkshire Hathaway, they both know a thing or two about turning fifty cents into billions of dollars.

—21 Savage & Forever 21. English rapper, Shéyaa Bin Abraham-Joseph, known professionally as 21 Savage, joined Drake in concert in October and has six concert dates planned through late February. Um, hello, couldn’t you see a young rapper making his climb and Forever 21, the youth-obsessed fashion retailer, making a comeback after tumbling into bankruptcy two years ago, working together. Sounds like a perfect match.

—KISS & Chapstick. Kiss is finishing up it’s End of the Road World Tour. On their web site, they mention that they’re celebrating their final live shows, taking place at Madison Square Garden on December 1 and 2, “with an epic NYC takeover.” I’m not sure what that means, but  they mention they’re working in partnership with Bravado, a merchandise and brand management company, to build out activities that pay tribute to the band’s deep history with New York City. I’m not sure about other partners, but Kiss and Chapstick or even Bert’s Bees seem like a no-brainer to me. When the KISS Army take off their war paint and makeup, who doesn’t need a little bit of Chapstick to prevent dry lips and chapping?

Oh, I should get a commission for making these partnerships happen. What do you think?