Knockin’ on heaven’s door

When host Jame Lipton was alive, he used to ask guests of his show, Inside the Actors Studio, “if God exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?” He got the usual responses, but some off the wall ones too:

Harrison Ford responded, “You’re much better-looking in person.”

Anthony Hopkins responded, “What were you doing down there?”

And Billy Crystal responded, “Lenny Bruce is gonna do ten minutes and then you’re on.”

Image by Brett Sayles by Pexels.

I give it a go!

I wrote several years ago, that I would want God to say, “Job well done, my loyal and faithful servant.” I can only imagine the relief that I would feel inside to hear those words and to be embraced by God.

While I still hold true to that response, I’ve been thinking and have come up with a few responses that might add a bit more levity. What do you think?

—”You can’t do it much better than then, you did the best you could, with what you had! Great job.”

—God comes over to greet me and Carly Simon’s song, Nobody does it better, the theme song for the James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) plays in the background:

“Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you’re the best.”

—”Damn, you were good. You were the G-O-A-T. Move on over Michael Jorden and LeBron James. You’re the Greatest of All Time.”

—”Bravo, bravo, Brian, your adoring fans are waiting. Here’s the keys to heaven.”

—”Your loved ones are waiting for you. Your dogs too. The fishing is good. The beers are on ice. It’s a perfect summer day. Come and get it.”

—God saying, “You da man!” all while doing the Griddy Dance that you see in the NFL or running to the side of the pitch and sliding to his or her knees the way a soccer player does when a goal is scored in the World Cup.

—God surrounded by television cameras and an audience and doing his best impression of Gameshow Host Bob Barker saying, “Brian, come on down, you’re the next contestant on The Price is Right.”

—God singing the lyrics to All Star by Smash Mouth and lights flashing all around. “Hey now, you’re an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid.”

On retrospect, maybe these aren’t the best responses. In any event, check out my original post from March 20, 2017.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?