What my life might have looked like

When I was a teenager in 1985, the film Witness, starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, hit movie theaters. In the movie, Samuel, a young Amish boy (Lukas Haas) with his mother Rachel (McGillis) is the sole witness to a gruesome murder at a Philadelphia train station. Police detective John Book (Ford) gets assigned to the case and uncovers evidence of police corruption. He’s nearly murdered in the process, but manages to protect the two, fleeing to the countryside where he gets immersed in the Amish culture and tradition. Of course, when Book recovers, he and Rachel become romantically connected.

I liked the crime thriller and the love story that emerged, but I remember being fascinated most by other’s impressions of the Amish, best known for their plain clothing, most of it self-made, and nonconformist lifestyle. Of course, I had first hand knowledge about the Orthodox Christian religious sect. My mother grew up Amish, but left when she was 16 years-old. In addition, I grew up in a rural community where Amish horse and buggies on the road seemed, at least in my head, to outnumber cars.

Image by Pexels.

Film critics, the media, and tourists who visited communities like mine across Pennsylvania after the film’s release, of course, picked up on the Amish way of life, including faith, humility, family, community, and separation from the world. They eschew modern conveniences including cars, electricity, and modern farm equipment. I respect their faith and discipline, but thanks to my unique vantage point, I’ve also seen some not so great things too.

Amish communities experience the same problems that all societies face, including greed, jealousy, and anger. Women don’t have a lot of choices. They’re encouraged to start dating around 16 and generally marry in their early 20s. Education is not a big priority. Once children reach the eighth grade, they drop out of school. Local bishops and church leaders have enormous power and influence in interpreting scripture and church laws. Like most things in life, I find that I have immense respect for the people and their faith and discipline, but also see where institutions leave us wanting more.

Image by Pexels.

In any event, the movie had another effect on me, it hit me that my mother was younger than I was when she made her life-altering decision and left the church. Yes, when I hit 16 and 17, I was thinking about college and what career I might follow, but I knew that I could always come home. My mom had no guarantees that she’d ever be welcomed back by her parents.

I walked out of the theater appreciative of all the sacrifices my mom had made for my brothers and me. I write more on her quiet courage and how she survived in my piece, Courage to forge your own path, on The Heart of The Matter.

Finally, I keep coming back to a comical, but accurate truism: I’m not sure anyone wants to see me with a long beard, dressed in black pants and suspenders, wearing an Amish hat and speaking Pennsylvania Dutch. Thank you Mom!

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Courage to forge your own path

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