Feeling out of control

I was pulling back the steering wheel and pushing down hard on the brake, but nothing was happening. I see the moment clearly in my mind. I think sometimes if I push down even harder on the imaginary brake in my mind, I might be able to change things. If only life worked that way.

I was thinking recently about moments in my life when I felt like I had no control. I thought back immediately to my first accident as a driver. I was 19 or 20 and was heading home in the snow from my girlfriend’s house over Christmas break.

Slip sliding away

The drive should have been a short two hour drive, but it started snowing. If I recall correctly, it wasn’t supposed to snow at all, but a light dusting was just starting to collect on the road. I was driving on a two lane road down a small hill and my car started to veer into the other lane. I turned the wheel back to the right, but I couldn’t get my car back into my lane. The slick road sent me further into the other lane. I was traveling at at relative slow speed, but I still ended up hitting the other guy head on.

Fortunately, no one was hurt. I just had the challenge of informing my father about the accident and how I had caused it — not a fun experience — but what stands out to me most was the feeling of the lack of control. I remember being confused by that feeling for months afterward.

Are we the puppet or the puppet master?

I find that I write about control a lot. We think we have control, but we really don’t. It’s always a disarming feeling. We like to think that we’re the masters of our universe, managing the different parts of our own story or play, but sometimes we’re simply a puppet on a string.

Where’s Geppetto, the puppet master, when we need him?

When life surprises me with strange twists and turns, the thing that has helped me has been to:

• Take one day at a time.
• Control what I can control and forget about everything else.
• Deliberately list out the things I’m grateful for in my life and say thank you to others.

My advice sounds so quaint, but I find that it works. It’s not a cure-all, but it certainly does help manage the highs and lows. Check out my companion piece today on The Heart of the Matter. I write about the Lane Departure Warning in my car and how I think we need a Lane Departure Alert in Real Life to help warn us about potential trouble areas.

Let me know what you think.

Related Story:

Drifting out of my lane

on The Heart of The Matter.

Images by Florencio Rojas by Pexels.