That’s Gonna Leave A Scar

(A version of this story first appeared on March 22, 2023 on The Heart of the Matter.)

When the pitcher dropped the ball, before picking it up and throwing to me, I knew the play at second base was going to be close. I prepped myself for the collision. The runner was much taller and bigger than me. What I wasn’t expecting was the runner sliding hard and his metal spikes coming up high in the air. His spikes connected with my right knee and ankle, and I crumpled to the ground in pain. 

I got the out, but his spikes ripped through my uniform pants and cut a bloody gash across my knee and a smaller gash on the knob of my ankle. When my coach ran out to check on me, he tried to cheer me up, by saying I’d have a scar. I didn’t like his joke, but he was right. I’ve had those two scars for most of my life. I took a close look at both the other night and I noticed that the scar on my knee has faded. The skin has smoothened and become softer over time. In fact, you probably wouldn’t even notice it now if you didn’t know that I had it. 

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Body Heal Thyself 

The same thing has happened to a longer, deeper scar that I have underneath my right shoulder. Now, that one I earned not because of any athletic feat, or any great effort on my part, but because of college student stupidity. I would like to say I was simply following my friends, but I can’t blame them, I should have known better. 

I’ve written about the story in the past and it’s not one of my prouder moments, but the short story is that I was a sophomore or junior and got together with a couple of college friends at the start of the summer. We had a few beers and were trying to catch up with another friend who was having an apartment party. We were headed to the party when we decided to climb a fence instead of walking around to the front of his apartment complex. I should explain, the fence was no ordinary fence. I seem to recall the fence looking like a prison-like fence with concertina wire. I can’t really believe the apartment would have that kind of fence, but either way, the smart move would have been to walk around to the front. 

The story gets better. My friends were wearing sneakers and jeans. You ask about me. How was I dressed? I tried to climb the damn fence wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts and boat shoes. Yea, lots of grip right there! 

Yes, I said it was a stupid move. Let me repeat again, not one of my finest moments. 

Of course, my friends jumped over no problems. I came down with a lengthy list of bloody cuts and bruises and since I didn’t go immediately to the Emergency Room, I ended up with several scars, including a large one underneath my arm. I’m a grown ass man and I’m still trying to live that one down. 

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From Failure Comes Growth

In any event, I’ve been thinking about those two scars and many others that we accumulate in a lifetime. A scar is the body’s natural way of healing and replacing lost or damaged skin. From a pure medical standpoint, scars form when the dermis or a deep, thick layer of skin is damaged. The body forms new collagen fibers to mend the damage, resulting in a scar. 

Yes, yes, all very helpful, thank you Google, but I think there’s more to it. I’ve come to believe that the physical and mental scars we come across in our lives are there to protect us and teach us how to pick ourselves up and learn from our mistakes. Here’s what I mean: 

• The baseball slide. I learned that not everyone will play nice or fair for that matter, not everyone will be my friend. Some people will play a little rougher, and may even want to hurt me. It’s up to me how I respond. Yes, I could have taken the approach of an eye-for-an-eye. The runner played first base. When I was on base next, I could have been sure to stomp his foot on first base or got some of my friends in school and attacked him after class, but what good would that have done me. I didn’t have to lower my standards to meet his. 

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• Climbing the fence. Yes, we’re going to do some stupid things in our life, learn from it, move on, and love the ones who love us anyway. I made a mistake. Pick yourself up and keep moving on. I will say this, I spent the rest of that summer making sure my cuts didn’t get infected and, yes, I never tried to climb another fence in my life! I made sure too to never put myself in a bad position like that again. 

Yes, I think scars are nature’s way of teaching us lessons on what’s important. It’s kind of crazy, but I’m grateful for all the scars I’ve accumulated in my life.