Life is a roller coaster

When my wife pulled up to the driveway the other night, I knew I was fighting an up-hill battle. I knew the brilliant idea floating around in my head was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. A few cards short of a deck. A few bricks short of a load. Let’s just say, the roller coaster was running but no one was checking seat restraints, controlling ride start-stop mechanisms, or monitoring the ride’s performance.

I figured that my best chance of success was to ease into the discussion. First, I asked my wife about her day. I listened closely as she told me about several things that were bothering her. I even asked if she wanted me to just listen or wanted some ideas on possible solutions.

When she said “listen,” I was all ears. I poured her a glass of her favorite iced tea and sat at attention.

We chatted some more and I thanked her for stopping on her way home to pick up a few groceries. Later over dinner, I mentioned an interesting advertisement that I had seen that day. In the calmest, coolest voice I could muster, I told her that if we put down a mere $850, we could own a piece of Pennsylvania history. And, we’d get a cool backyard seating area out of the bargain too.

The Whip – 1997 to 2022

Yes, I suggested that we purchase an old car from The Whip, which operated from 1997 to 2022 at Hersheypark, the 121-acre theme park in Hershey, Pennsylvania. The ride functioned via a cable-and-pulley system that moved cars around an oval track. Centrifugal force “whipped” the cars around two tight 180-degree end turns.

The park originally tried to sell the ride in whole. It lowered the price several times, but when it got no takers, it opted to court the public’s love for the ride and sell off individual cars. I stumbled across a local story on the sale. When my wife looked at me with a questioning look, I knew that it was time to roll out the big guns.

Making my case

“I know, I know, The Whip was never your thing. You didn’t like that whiplash feeling. How about instead we spend a few hundred more dollars and buy one of Hersheypark’s old Skyview rides? C’mon honey, you can get one in your choice of brown, silver and red. What do you think?”

When she didn’t say anything, I said, “I kind of like the red one.”

Skyview was always one of my wife’s favorites. It transported visitors from one end of the amusement park to the other in suspended cars high off the ground. The ride ran from 1966 to 2024. For my wife, it was the perfect ride, second only to the gentle thrill of riding the Carousel. You didn’t have to worry about racing around a track or getting your stomach in a tizzy. Outside of being up high, it was as gentle as they come. You could just enjoy the scenery and take in the day’s excitement.

However, when I told her that the Skyview ride cars would cost us $1,250, I thought she was going to throw something at me, like say a right hook. Instead, she put the back of her hand up to my forehead to see if I had a fever. “Oh, thank you for asking honey, but I’m feeling great,” I told her. “What do you think? Pretty cool, right?”

Skyview Ride – 1966 to 2024

Putting on the hard sell

When I got no reaction, I tried another trick. I mentioned that I had researched Kings Dominion, the Virginia amusement park we visited often when we were in our mid-20s, and found out that the park sometimes sells off items to other amusement entities, but rarely sells directly to the public.

When we first started dating in the early 90s, one of our first dates was to Kings Dominion. After a long hot day at the park, we had one of our first kisses right before traveling on the park’s log flume ride, The Shenandoah Lumber Company. The flume made its way around a curvy water course before tilting over the ledge and then falling over a steep 40-foot drop. Of course, we got drenched in the water. With the temperatures in the high 90s, we cooled off before heading home for the day.

I told her that we couldn’t buy one of the Kings Dominion logs. The fifty-one year old ride is still in operation, but an old ride from Hershey Park would be a close second. Hershey Entertainment & Resorts is selling the ride vehicles as-is, noting that the cars’ conditions vary and, in some cases, show signs of wear.

She still looked at me like I had lost my mind.

Hershey Entertainment & Resort Iconic Ride Sale

Roller coasters go up and they come down

I tried my final pitch. “Wouldn’t it be great to have a quiet seat in the back yard to sit together? We could hang out on the ride and imagine we were actually moving. We could hold each other, maybe read a book, or talk. We could watch the birds and squirrels, maybe even a deer or two, and we could float the day away.”

Yea, nice try, but that didn’t work either.

My wife saw right through me. Strikkkkke threee! It was like I was in the front seat of another Hersheypark ride, The Comet, a wobbly, old wooden roller coaster that whizzes up and down and around a track before coming to an abrupt stop in front of the ride operator. Woah there Nelly. Kind of like me running smack dab into a brick wall. “Nope, no can do!”

Someone is going to have a nice piece of history and a great conversation piece in their yard. It just won’t be me. If you’re looking for a unique gift, however, here’s your chance. Would you buy something like this?