Aww Nuts!

Some people have to travel great distances and hike up a large snowy mountain pass to search for wisdom. After the long journey, they have the chance to sit with a monk or holy man. They get to ask the questions that gnaw at them.

Still others sit in a class on a college campus. The seats are creaky and uncomfortable. They fight sleep and head-bobs to listen to great philosophers pontificate for hours on the meaning of life.

And then there’s me? Last week, I got to question Jethro the Talking Squirrel. Who is Jethro you might ask?

I was out for my daily walk on a local trail. I rounded a corner and there stood a small squirrel. The trail is full of them. They love the plentiful nuts, seeds, and plants. I fully expected for him to dart across the trail and scurry away. This time of the year they keep busy stashing away their food and building up their nests for the winter. But this time, the squirrel stood tall. Or as tall as a 4 to 5-inch tall squirrel with a 7 to 10 inch tail can be. He bowed gracefully before me and introduced himself. “My name is Jethro and I’m here to serve.”

I thought I was losing my mind. I looked all around me. Was I really hearing this? He couldn’t be talking. What’s more he couldn’t be talking to me.

Oh wise one!

I didn’t dare breathe. I had to be hearing things. I was about to start again on my walk when Jethro continued: “Oh, I am really here. You’re not imaging things.”

I told him that I had never spoken to a squirrel before. Without missing a beat, he said we were two peas in a pod. He had never before spoken to a human.

“In that case, it’s nice to meet you,” I said. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. If I was going to the loony bin then I figured it was best to jump in with both feet.

He then informed me that it was my lucky day. He was a very wise squirrel. If I listened closely, he would pass along his ancient wisdom. He added that he couldn’t help me with the World Series Winner. He also couldn’t help with next season’s Super Bowl Winner or even how to win at cards in Las Vegas. I was on my own on those things. But if I listened closely, I would learn a lot from him.

Can I write this down?

I wasn’t sure where to start. He suggested that maybe we should take a walk. We walked slowly on the trail and he asked about my family. I told him that they would never believe me if I mentioned meeting a talking squirrel. I confessed that my oldest brother used to call me a “little squirrel” when we were kids. I told him the name calling was especially bad when we traveled to Pittsburgh and passed the Squirrel Hill Tunnel and many Squirrel Hill exits.

I asked about Jethro’s family too. He told me that he came from a long line of Eastern Gray Squirrel spiritual healers and teachers. His great, great grandfather nine times over helped Albert Einstein come up with the Theory of Relativity.

I whistled at this news. To think that I met a talking squirrel. A wise one to boot. And one with a lineage that tied back to Albert Einstein. I figured I would test the wise old squirrel right away. I asked him about the leaf in front of us. “What’s going on here? It’s like Fall is in the middle of downloading a file and is having buffering issues.”

He led me to a bench overlooking the nearby stream and we sat down. “Oh ye of little faith. You want everything yesterday.”

“No I don’t. I just want to know what’s going on.”

He went onto to explain that he couldn’t talk much about modern day technology. He was still happy with his iPhone 5s released in 2013. The rest of us though are too impatient for our own good. Fall is still downloading. In two weeks time, that leaf will be a dark yellow.

And then for his pièce de résistance, he said, “Some of us come with completed instructions. Some of us have to write our own. Let’s give Fall some time and she’ll figure things out.”

An aha moment!

I thought about Jethro’s comment for a long time before I said anything. “Some of us come with completed instructions, some of us have to write our own.”

If ever I could relate, I could relate to that bit of news. I constantly feel like I’m learning something new about life and myself. Everyone else seems to know everything about everything and I’m just figuring things out for the first time.

Jethro wasn’t done. He pointed to the ripples in the water. “You see that river. You see the ripples when the dew falls off that leaf and lands in the water. We’re like ripples on the river of life.”

He took a second to rub underneath an arm pit. Hey, when you’re a squirrel, you need to itch. “We think we’re units unto ourselves. But we ripple and touch every other person we come into contact. We touch them, they touch us, it keeps working that way until Infinitum.”

My woah moment!

I felt like I should be taking notes. “Can I get the CliffNotes version of this conversation,” I asked. (CliffNotes are study guides for literary works and other school and college topics.) He shushed me and we sat for a few more minutes.

I pushed ahead though. “If I had a pen and paper, I could make you famous Jethro.” He swatted away at me like he was swatting a flea. “What’s fame and money when you lose your soul. Tis better to be poor and have a fresh acorn.”

I closed one eye thinking on that one. I wanted to interrupt and tell him that I’d pass on the acorn. However, I could tell that my time was almost up and my newfound friend was getting restless. “Can I come back tomorrow or even later in the week and talk to you again?” I asked.

You can try, he told me. He said he would always be in the woods. If I wanted to ask him questions in the future, I should bring a bushel of walnuts and acorns. And he would be sure to help.

We shook hands and went our respective ways. A talking squirrel. Wiser than some of the wisest men alive. I guess even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in awhile. I can’t believe it.

If you ever meet a wise old talking squirrel, what would you like to ask him or her?