The Big Three: Metal on metal

The world can be a crazy place. Some times it helps to step back, close your eyes, and list out a few of the things you’re grateful for. Here’s what I’m grateful for the week of January 12-18:

What I’m grateful for:

—Life in the fast lane. Last weekend, we dropped our daughter off at the train station. We were on our way home on a busy section of roadway. I was in the left lane behind several other cars. I noticed in my mirror a car fast approaching. He was zipping in and out of traffic.

Before I knew it, the driver was on my tail. I couldn’t go anywhere so he zipped into the other lane and sped ahead of me. I cringed as he tried to pass and squeeze between two cars. He hit a car squarely in the rear end, sending the car fish-tailing on the road. We were a few cars back but I braked as soon as he went past me. I saw the accident in my head, even before it happened.

In the dark, I had no idea what might happen next. Fortunately, the accident was limited to just those two cars and looked to be superficial in nature. It didn’t appear that anyone was seriously hurt. I couldn’t get it out of my head, though, how it could have been much worse.

Yes, yes, outside of a small dent we got in our car from a piece of flying metal, I’m thankful we escaped unharmed. Oh, wow. [Note to self, you can stop holding your breath, it’s okay to breathe again Brian!]

—When these guys make a mistake, everyone gets to see it. I can’t believe it, but I’m here to say thank you for the meteorologists of the world. I turned on a local television station on Friday and the announcers were joking that we may get anywhere from an inch to eight inches of snow on Sunday. Um, can just pick one? At least, I think the guy was joking. It can’t be an easy job. You have worry about the big stuff: things like life shattering hurricanes and tornadoes; horrible winds that make firefighting an impossible job; tsunamis and droughts. But then you also have to predict the exact time a snow storm will start and stop and how many inches it’s going to bring. Um-hello, they have to be better than the betters in Las Vegas and Monte Carlo combined. I know I couldn’t do it!

—Those damn writing rules. I heard a guy talk this week about how hard it was to go back to school after being away from it for so long. He quit school when he was still a young teen and had to work to help put food on the table for his family. He suffered from various learning difficulties, so when he quit, he didn’t realize at first how much he would miss it.

In time, though, the tough road that he faced hit him squarely on the jaw. He’s taking classes now to get his GED and improve his lot in life. In talking with him briefly, it reminded me how grateful I am for the opportunities I’ve been given.

I keep coming back to those damn writing rules that we all groan about it. Thanks to those rules, I’ve been able to lift myself out of whatever hole in the ground I’ve found myself . . . but even more important, I can express myself and face the world. I would be lost if I couldn’t write and couldn’t express myself on paper. The rule i before e except after c. The oxford comma. Capitalizing proper nouns. Affect or effect. Oh, they can all be frustrating, but I’ll take it!

What gave me a smile?

One player puts his arms up in the air, another storms out of the room, and chaos ensues. The game Scrabble debuted in thirties and it begs the question: In the lengthy history of Scrabble, how many fights has it caused?

Yes, yes, Scrabble made me laugh this week. Here’s how.

One research firm asked the question two years ago. They asked respondents whether they had ever argued with a partner, friend, or family member over a board game and found out: Monopoly causes the most arguments with 37.4% of people reporting a screaming match over the game, followed by Chess with 30.3% of people and Scrabble with 23.7%.

I’m struck by these numbers and blame three men for the arguments.

• Architect Alfred M. Butts came up wth the game in 1931. He originally called the game Criss Cross and based it on anagrams and crossword puzzles. 
• James Brunot marketed the game under the name Scrabble in 1948. 
• Jack Straus, the president of Macy’s, played it on vacation and insisted that Macy’s start selling the game. From there, the game took off and, within a year, was in high demand.

Oh, I’m going to remember these men the next time my family has game night. I have it all figured out. I’m going to play OXYPHENBUTAZONE across the left side of the board, hitting three Triple Word Score squares while making seven crosswords downward, for a total of 1,784 points. My wife will, of course, balk and claim that I have to know what the word is before I use it.

In true Scrabble fashion, I’ll flip the board over and tell her that Oxyphenbutazone is a type of anti-inflammatory drug used to treat pain and swelling related to arthritis and gout. For the heck of it, I’ll grab a dictionary to show her the word and, as I look for the word, I’ll start playing We are the Champions by Queen on our speaker.

Oh yea, that will go over real well!